balls Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deserve's Got Nothing To Do With It When Adults Lose Their Minds Over A Foul Ball
Foul ball and dinger retrieval rights shouldn’t necessarily be decided by merit. The most qualified person in a given section to score a game ball is generally going to be an adult with a baseball glove and a disconcertingly high threshold for self-humiliation. By contrast, the least qualified perso...
One Of The NL's Best Sluggers Isn't On The All-Star Ballot
Brand-new Cincinnati Red Derek Dietrich is smashing the hell out of the baseball in the early part of the season, quickly going from Marlins Castoff On Minor League Contract to elite pinch-hitting threat to must-start infielder in just a few weeks. After his titanic three-dinger performance against ...
Can You Eat A Full Meal Without Drinking Any Liquid?
Today, we’re talking about weed, toilet paper, golf, fucking to John Tesh, and more....
Respect Is Poison: A Message To The Class Of 2019
I have a story to tell you about being Mad Online. This isn’t really a fitting, celebratory story for you, the graduating class of 2019. You’re currently clad in your caps and your gowns, surrounded by loved ones, forced to endure one final round of grueling lectures from a cadre of respected gradua...
What Is The Ideal NBA Finals Result For Haters?
Today, we’re talking about bad bathrooms, breakfast in bed, rugby, Game of Thrones, and more. ...
Minor League Baseball Announcer Calls His Own Sweet Catch: "I Am Very Proud Of Myself!"
In a minor league game between the Somerset Patriots and the High Point Rockers Wednesday night, a foul ball was spun back into the crowd, in the direction of the open window of Patriots broadcaster Marc Schwartz. Schwartz, who appears to be very good at his job while possessing the reflexes of a ca...
The Night The Lights Went Out
“Pieces were stolen from meOr dare I say… given away?”...
Can Sports Show The Way To Smarter Voting?
Electoral reform is coming to America. This year in MLB, a simple first-past-the-post voting system will no longer determine all-star starters. Fans will instead select three finalists in a Primary Round and then vote from among those finalists on a single Election Day....
What Are The Degrees Of Raining?
Today, we’re talking about J.R.R. Tolkien, OK symbols, plastic knives, beer cans, and more....
An Interview With A Man Who Eats Leftover Food From Strangers' Plates In Restaurants
Alex is a 43-year-old San Franciscan who works in the financial sector. He also eagerly eats uneaten and untouched leftover food off of plates if he spots it out in the open at a public dining establishment, even if it’s off a stranger’s plate. He forages in an urban setting, you might say. I called...
Where’s The Worst Place On Your Body To Put Your Sunglasses When You’re Not Wearing Them?
Today, we’re talking about old man farts, parking apps, Florida, road trips, cupcakes, and more....
I Listened To Vampire Weekend For The First Time Today And I Regret It
Vampire Weekend dropped a new album today, which is big news in rock because, well, apparently this is the best that rock can offer at this very moment. You might remember Vampire Weekend from when they emerged on the scene over a decade ago, dressing like 1996 and distinguishing themselves from oth...
Ben Simmons Gets Away With Elbowing Kyle Lowry In The Dick And Balls
This is some dirty stuff right here. In the second quarter of Thursday night’s Game 3 in the 76ers-Raptors series, Kyle Lowry boxed out Ben Simmons on the defensive glass, and Simmons toppled to the floor along the baseline. With Lowry teetering over him, Simmons threw an angry elbow directly to Low...
Playing In New York Doesn’t Matter To Athletes Anymore
Today, we’re talking about Woj, golf nets, bank cafes, Ichiro, pizza rolls, and more....
An Incomplete List Of Things I Can Never Do Again
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Zack Wheeler Demolished The Phillies In A Variety Of Ways
Baseball’s reliance on increasingly advanced stats can be alienating for those who don’t spend a large chunk of their summers deep in FanGraphs databases and Statcast k-holes. But sometimes, all you need is to look at a box score and see one player going buckwild to understand what happened....
Should A TV Room Really Have More Than One TV?
Today, we’re talking about science fiction, playoff seeding, mortadella, microwaves, and more....
What Is The Best Plate Shape?
Today, we’re talking about Game of Thrones, pizza pilgrimages, movie knowers, bad candy bars, and more....
Un-Fucking-Real
He was finished. He was disgraced, hobbled, and eaten alive by the ravages of both fame and time. His story was over; it was simply a matter how clumsily it would end and how long it would take for that end to finally arrive....
Sharks' Logan Couture Is Thankful He Didn't Lose A Testicle When A Hockey Puck Hit Him In The Dick And Balls
Down 4-3 in the second period, the San Jose Sharks had an opportunity to tie up the game when they were awarded a power play. But as the countdown clock for the penalty reached its final 30 seconds, it was Vegas that would end up with the goal-scoring opportunity. Reilly Smith passed the puck from t...