balls Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let Football Players Wear The Glue Gloves<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about birth plans, diarrhea, weird doctors, and more....
Is Papa John A Sincere Kentucky Fan?
So Bob Costas spoke openly to Mark Fainaru-Wada and ESPN—to his eventual regret, he says—about being gradually phased out at NBC after his bosses chafed at him accurately claiming that the sport of football destroys brains. You can easily read the story and see that Costas was right to speak openly ...
Should High Schools Teach Sports History?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about poop, backspacing, Bob Ross, soft-boiled eggs, and more....
The Future Of Football Is A Lie<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Oh God, What If The Patriots Win A SEVENTH Title?!<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about the Super Bowl, stoner girlfriends, the NBA, and more....
The Worst People Win Again
All the terrible people are happy today. Robert Kraft is happy, and presumably has a low arm wrapped around an auto show model, because another ring only further burnishes his title of King Of All Owners. Tom Brady is happy because he gets to frame himself as an underdog who overcame impossible odds...
Please Stop Praising The Idiot Football Men For Dressing Poorly In Cold Weather<em></em>
As you might have heard, it’s cold outside in large portions of the country today. It’s so cold that (PSA: there is no punchline forthcoming) the National Weather Service has warned citizens of Chicago that frostbite can set in after just five minutes of exposure to such extreme temperatures. Has th...
Has Trump Seen Jared Naked?
Today we’re talking about Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, and more....
How Many Wild Animals Die Of Old Age?
Today we’re talking about the Warriors, coprophagy, Florida Man, business trips, and more. ...
Charlton Fan Accidentally Kicks His Own Team's Player In The Dick And Balls Trying To Celebrate Game-Winning Goal
In the 93rd minute of the match between Charlton Athletic and Accrington Stanley, the linesman awarded a penalty to Charlton after a shot from midfielder Ben Reeves ricocheted off the hand of a defender in the penalty box. Karlan Grant calmly scored from the spot and the players were understandably ...
We Need A New "America's Team"
Today, we’re talking about shoelaces, Trump’s hair, insomnia, Philly sports fans, and more....
Chiefs Fans Threw Snowballs During Their Playoff Game
The Kansas City Chiefs rolled over the Indianapolis Colts, 31-13, to advance to the AFC Championship Game. To keep themselves amused during the blowout, Chiefs fans threw snowballs onto the field at least three different times....
Report: Nick Young Stole Man's Phone And Hit Him In The Dick And Balls At A Car Wash
Nick Young’s lone NBA action this season was a four-game cup of coffee with the Nuggets. He scored nine points and got waived shortly before the new year, though it appears he’s still getting shots up....
Does Hockey Have Any Damn Business In Texas?
This week we’re talking about Notre Dame, New Year’s resolutions, whether you too can be a Football Man, and of course, Mitsubishi. ...
Christmas Candy Vs. Halloween Candy: Who Ya Got?!
Today we’re talking about groomzillas, NFL bye weeks, Olive Garden, shitty teams, and more....
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?<em></em>
Happy new year, one and all. This year, resolve to take better care of your dick and balls; last year you did a really bad job of it....
Eagles’ Third-String QB Throws Touchdown Pass, Negotiates With Kid To Get Football Back<em></em><em></em>
Nate Sudfeld entered the Eagles’ playoff-clinching 24-0 win over Washington yesterday after Nick Foles got hurt and threw just one pass. It was a 22-yard TD toss to Nelson Agholor, the first touchdown throw of Sudfeld’s career. ...
Could Trump Dodge A Shoe?
Today, we’re talking about fart ventriloquism, Street Fighter, Bernie the Avalanche mascot, and more....
Luka Dončić's Step-Back Jumper Is As Smooth As It Gets
The Mavericks lost to the Clippers last night in a rather entertaining edition of the DeAndre Jordan Bowl, one where nobody was particularly interested in playing defense and Lou Williams did the Lou Williams thing of making every goddamn shot he thought about. Leading the line for the Mavs was Slov...
Everywhere Is Gross
Today, we’re talking about chuds, Nick Foles, Home Depot, overpopulation, and more. ...