balls Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Mischievous Dong Photobombs Marathon Photo Finish [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/aleqwnjii3sxqqbdtbj0.png)
Mischievous Dong Photobombs Marathon Photo Finish [NSFW]
The 2018 Christie Clinic Illinois Marathon was held Saturday in Champaign, and featured a virtually unheard of finish: runners Tesfaalem Mehari and Wilson Chenwono crossed the finish line at the same instant, and the result was ruled a tie. The runners will reportedly split the combined purse for fi...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Mighty Morphin Power Rangers</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
God Help Me, I'm Addicted To The NFL's Brilliant Horseshit<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Kid Catches Foul Ball In Glove Stuffed With Popcorn
The rule for catching a foul ball in your beer is simple: chug. The rule for catching a foul ball in your glove that is, for some reason, crammed full of popcorn is... not so simple, though there’s certainly a decent case to be made for don’t fill your glove with popcorn in the first place....
Leonys Martín Hits Dong, Then Hits Dong
Leonys Martín led off today’s Tigers-Pirates game with a big home run, but it came at a price. On the fourth pitch of the game, Martín ricocheted a pitch off the plate into his dick and balls. He rolled around for two minutes afterward and had a hard time standing back up....
Do You Look At The Keyboard When You Type?<em></em>
Before we get into this week’s Funbag, I have a highly irritating announcement, which is that I’m gonna take a sabbatical in May. Actually, I was quietly suspended by corporate for pouring a bucket of live carpenter bees down Burneko’s chimney, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is that I’...
Serge Ibaka Got Hit In The Dick And Balls
Through three quarters, Kelly Oubre had no points in today’s NBA playoff opener for the Washington Wizards. What he did have was an amazing pass right into Serge Ibaka’s dick and balls....
Should A Sports Hall Of Fame Have A Maximum Capacity?<em></em>
Before we get into the Funbag, I wanna talk about pizza, specifically this tweet I sent out while I was less than sober: ...
Andrew Luck: I Still Haven’t Thrown A Real Football
Andrew Luck missed all of the 2017 season. At Colts minicamp today, he spoke with reporters for the first time in 2018. How’s his rehab from injury going?...
Guy Fails To Catch Foul Ball, Neighboring Beer Suffers Consequences
Tonight’s Mariners-Giants game was rough for quite a few people. There’s Felix Hernandez, who allowed eight runs in four innings on the way to a 10-1 loss; there’s all of the Seattle fans who had to watch that; and there’s this guy, who brought his glove to the game but completely whiffed on this fo...
Are Slow Jams Dead?<em></em>
Before we dive into the Funbag, a quick programming note: I’m on vacation next week. So there won’t be a Funbag next Tuesday. I’m sure you’ll be able to deal....
How Not To Write About Movies
Black Panther is the biggest hit of 2018 and stands poised to become one of the five highest grossing movies in the history of this continent. It’s a rare movie that serves as both an artistic and financial success and has absolutely destroyed any preconceived boardroom notions about a movie with a ...
What Color Are Tennis Balls?
This has been a heated topic of debate for many years, most recently in The Atlantic and on the Hello Internet podcast: Are tennis balls green or yellow?...
Now We Get To See If Kirk Cousins Is Really Worth A Shit<em></em>
So… Kirk Cousins. It is extremely difficult—impossible, even—to evaluate Kirk Cousins solely as a quarterback when, for the past six seasons, he has plied his trade in the middle of Dan Snyder’s never-ending diarrhea rodeo. He was drafted by Mike Shanahan in the fourth round as an insurance policy f...
COME TO MINNESOTA, DREW BREES!<em></em>
NFL free agency begins next week and the biggest name available will be quarterback Kirk Cousins, who is sure to command a blessed shitload of money from one of five horny suitors (Denver, Minnesota, Cleveland, Arizona, the Jets). HOWEVER, there’s a very good possibility that Cousins won’t even be t...
Fuck The Possession Arrow
Before we begin, a brief CORRECTION. Last week I defended the practice of baseball teams fucking around in spring training and inviting the likes of Russell Wilson to take a few stunt at bats. In light of Chris Berman “managing” a game for the Giants this past weekend, I have changed my mind. Spring...