balls Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The 32 Most Memorable Quotes From <i>Avatar</i>
Yesterday, director and planet-eater James Cameron announced his intentions to make not one, not two, but FOUR sequels to 2009's Avatar, the second-highest-grossing film of all time. In the wake of that announcement, there was a fake quote passed around, with Cameron stating that one of the reasons ...
Let’s Talk About Proper Grammatical Usage Of The Word "Porn"
This week, a Deadcast listener sent in a question about using the word “porn” versus the word “porno.” And even though NO ONE uses the term “porno” anymore except old bros like me who pine for the porno-y days of the 1980s, I am of the firm belief that those two words do NOT mean the same thing, and...
Your Last-Minute, Pants-Shitting Guide To Taxes
Oh holy living fuck, Tax Day is Monday! Have you filed yet? Do you owe penalties? SHIT YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING JAIL. You better run. I know a place in Mexico where you can lie low for a bit while the Feds go searching for you. It’ll buy you the time you need, and then you can jump a shipping freight...
ESPN's Insane Adam LaRoche Puff Piece Features LaRoche Liberating Sex Slaves
ESPN’s Tim Keown did a deep dive on former White Sox 1B/DH Adam LaRoche today, the kind of purple-hued schlongread that purports to tell you the REAL STORY of LaRoche’s decision to walk away from baseball after White Sox boss Ken Williams asked him to stop bringing his son to the ballpark every day....
The Other Curry Can Do Cool Basketball Shit Too
Tonight, the Sacramento Kings and Phoenix Su—oh, who gives a shit? Both Pacific Division trashcans are in the midst of a tank-off and the Kings coaching staff didn’t even know that Boogie Cousins wasn’t playing until they couldn’t find him on the plane....
This Tigers Fan Caught Five Foul Balls Today
The Tigers lost today at home to the Pirates, thanks to Justin Verlander giving up seven runs. Tigers fans didn’t have a whole lot to cheer for today, save for a pair of dingers and this guy, Bill Dugan, who caught five foul balls. He even made an off-the-wall catch in the second inning....
Of Course Adam Schefter Bought Into Greg Hardy's Bullshit
By now you know that Greg Hardy sat down for a VERY SERIOUS conversation with ESPN this week and turded up the joint the way only Greg Hardy can. He denied any wrongdoing, insinuated that these pictures could have been manipulated, and tossed in an empty Bible shout-out for good measure. Keep in min...
Balls, Ranked
God has blessed us with so many balls. Here they all are, definitively ranked from worst to best. ...
The Deranged True Story Of <i>Heavy Metal Parking Lot</i>, The <i>Citizen Kane</i> Of Wasted Teenage Metalness
Suburban dirtballs of the 1980s are a lost culture, worthy of academic study, that disappeared abruptly, leaving mysterious artifacts for future generations to work over. Think of them as, say, the ancient Mayans, only with mullets....
The Dadspin Explainer: Hitler
Here at Dadspin, we understand how difficult it is to explain certain subjects to your children. This is why we’ve created Dadspin Explainer, a handy running guide to teaching your children about really horrible shit. ...
What It’s Like To Be Protested
I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I was standing on the steps of Oviatt Library at Cal State Northridge, giving a speech to all the incoming freshmen as part of the university’s formal convocation. (Quick acknowledgment: Yes, this actually happened, so you are now free to dump on me for being a...
What Chair Has Been Farted In The Most?
Chairs! They’re soft and comfortable and they provide the perfect acoustic backdrop for a good, solid round of farting. But what chair has been farted in the most over time? Can you even NAME a famous chair without cheating? Is an uninformed discussion about chair farts worth your time at all? THAT ...
The Best Places To Urinate Outside, Ranked
Before we get deep into the bowels of the Funbag, one quick note: I’m out next week on Spring Break with my kids. This will not be like your Spring Break. Your Spring Break will be in Lake Havasu surrounded by fruity drinks and horny twentysomethings. I, on the other hand, will be stuck in Virginia ...
Let's Make Some Delicious Meatballs, And Not Be Dumbass Purists About It
Authenticity is an interesting thing, where food is concerned. We’ve reached a point, now, where it is possible to strive for authenticity in the construction of a thing while completely missing what is authentic about its origin, its nature....
The Hater’s Guide To March Madness 2016
It’s that time of year again … time to say rotten, hateful things about every team in the NCAA tournament bracket. And what a bunch of shitty, corrupt teams they are! I don’t think there’s ever been a tournament featuring so many schools that are in the middle of horrifying scandals: Yale, Cal, Oreg...
Skins’ Proposed Stadium Has Moat, Is Fucking Stupid
Continuing with the timeless tradition of NFL teams extolling the virtues of a futuristic, unworkable stadium plan that your city does not want or need, here is the Worst Franchise On Earth unveiling their proposed new stadium, which has clearly been rastafied by at least 10 percent....
Warriors Games Should Be On Earlier, Dammit
As you’re probably aware, the Golden State Warriors are currently 57-6 and have a legit shot at beating the NBA’s single-season win record. They’re the sort of once-in-a-lifetime superteam that has captured the imaginations of diehards and casual fans alike, and I would very much like to watch them ...