balls Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Do You Owe Your Friend Beer If He Takes You To A Game?
Your letters:...
Fucking Vote: The Curse Word Bracket Final Is Here
The final of the Deadspin Swear Word Bracket has arrived. And despite a valiant attempt by "cunt" to take down top seed "fuck," this is looking less like a tournament than it is a coronation....
<em>Saturday Night Live</em> Took On The Mike Rice Video Tonight
Tonight's Saturday Night Live unleashed this parody just as the Michigan-Syracuse game was coming to its ugly end, so the Mike Rice-savvy audience out there may have missed it....
Vote, Motherfuckers: The Filthy Four Has Arrived
We've made it to the final four of our Deadspin Curse Word Bracket. And, as expected, the almost all of the 1 seeds have advanced. Turns out the REAL tournament is a lot more unpredictable than our use of cruel, degrading language. Let us now break down the two national curse word semifinals. .....
How To Be A Good Captive, And Other Notes From My Fake Kidnapping
I have an article in this month's GQ about my experience with a luxury abduction service, which I paid to kidnap me and hold me captive for 14 hours or so. (Here I am talking about the story on The Howard Stern Show, if you care to listen.) Given that Adam Thick, owner and operator of Extreme Kidnap...
Is Monkey In The Middle The Meanest Childhood Game?
I spent spring break at my sister's house last week and one night when I was there I was on the couch, watching the tourney and picking at my feet. I tore off this flap of skin that had really bugged me all day, and when I tore it off, BLOOD EVERYWHERE. My big toe was hemorrhaging plasma. I ran on m...
Vote, You Vulgar Shits: The Curse Word Bracket Elite Eight
Sweet Sixteen voting is over in the Deadspin Curse Word Bracket, and let's all give a big round of applause to "rimjob" and "fuckface," the two seemingly unstoppable 11-seeds who now must go up the 1-seeds in their respective regions. Now is the time for you to choose your Filthy Four–you four favo...
"Nice Going, Boyfriend!" Perfect Gentleman Runs Away From Home Run Ball, Lets It Hit Female Companion In The Face
This is why it is perfectly acceptable to bring a glove to a baseball game....
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Dora The Explorer</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke....
Are You A Bad Person If You Want To Watch What Happened To Kevin Ware?
I caught one of CBS's two replays of Kevin Ware's horrific injury last night right after the play occurred. My brother-in-law watched it live and then called me over to the TV. He didn't mean anything malicious by it. He just saw it and his first impulse was to grab someone nearby and be like, "Holy...
Can "Rimjob" Pull Off The Upset? Here's The Filthy Sixteen Of Your Curse Word Bracket
Second-round voting is over in the Deadspin Curse Word bracket, and boy, you people certainly like your rimjobs. Now it’s time for the regional semifinals. But before we get to the voting, a few notes on your Filthy Sixteen:...
Making Your Own Ketchup Is Idiotic
Before we hit the Funbag, one quick programming note: there won't be a Live Funbag on Thursday. Having children on Spring Break means being around your children for 150 consecutive hours, and it's unlikely that I will be of sound mind by the time Thursday rolls around. You'll understand one day....
Vote, Jagoffs: Second Round Of Our Curse Word Bracket Begins
BEWARE THE 13 SEEDS. While Florida Gulf Coast was busy trashing your NCAA bracket, some rather notable underdogs advanced in the first round of our curse word bracket, including 13 seeds "cameltoe" (which beat out "screw" by less than a thousand votes) and "buttfuck" (which staged an astonishing tr...
Vote, Dipshits: The First Round Of The Curse Word Bracket Continues
We're opening up the Potpourri and Compound Swear Word Regionals for voting now, so go ahead and choose your favorite curse word down below. The first two regions have seen their voting go pretty much according to plan, with a handful of exceptions (like 11-seed "rimjob" beating out 6-seed "clit")....
Behold: The Ultimate Curse Word Bracket
Swearing is important and cathartic and fun and totally makes you seem hip and edgy when you do it. There's a whole lot of hot, sweaty NCAA tournament action coming up this week, which means there will be plenty of FUCKS and SHITS and GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKERS blurted out across the country as bracket ...
The Lover's Guide To The NCAA Tournament
There is no finer harbinger of spring than the first weekend of the NCAA tournament. Often, the planets will align and you will find that the first day of the tournament also happens to take place on one of the first legitimately warm days of the spring, which allows you to drink outside for the fir...
What Event Would Reset The World Calendar?
When looking through history, we measure years with B.C. and A.D. but you have to imagine that in some time in the future we'll have a new abbreviation, right? Unless we just keep on going to the year five thousand or something. What would be the event that would most likely put our clock back to ze...
Let's Move College Football To The Spring
It's nearly spring. March Madness will be here soon to make you drunk and happy, but soon it'll be gone and you'll eventually be left with Jim Nantz tossing Augusta National's salad and the three people left on Earth who care about regular-season baseball. What's an anti-social American to do? Reade...