balls Page 75 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
For The Final Time, Gregg Easterbrook Is A Haughty Dipshit
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Could Beyoncé Have Performed At Halftime With Diarrhea?
Before we get into this week's Funbag, a quick announcement: The last Jamboroo of the season posts on Thursday. So starting next week, there will be TWO Funbags a week. There will be the usual Tuesday Funbag. And then, every Thursday, there will be a LIVE Funbag. We'll do this all the way through to...
It Took A Blackout To Show You How Truly Useless NFL Broadcasters Are. Let's Blow Up The Studio.
I avoided the pregame shows yesterday. This isn't unusual. I never watch pregame shows for the same reason YOU never watch pregame shows. I showed up at my friend's house just as they were getting ready for Alicia Keys to spend eight minutes doing a national anthem/"Fallin'"/Jazz odyssey medley. And...
This Is The Most Mesmerizing Video From The Super Bowl
This year's Super Bowl was heavy on the dramatic build-up but short, at times, on the execution. (The lengthy power outage delay didn't help.) There was one moment, though, that both inspired numerous emails from readers and captivated everyone's attention, if only for a few seconds. We have Frank...
Confessions Of A Glory Boy
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
The Hater's Guide To Ray Lewis
It’s not exactly daring to hate Ray Lewis. Facebook data show that most people are rooting for the 49ers to win the Super Bowl, and I’m sure “FUCK RAY LEWIS” has a lot to do with that. No one disputes that Lewis should be a Hall of Famer, and I guess we can all agree that he’s a good leader. He sure...
Household Chores: A Dadspin Ranking And Guide
Chores never end. That's why they're chores. You would think, after a long night scrubbing pots and pans until the skin begins to peel off your hands, that such an effort would absolve you from ever having to wash another dish again. YOU ARE WRONG. There will be more dishes to rinse or clean mere MI...
A Treasure Trove Of Animal Murder Stories For Your Super Bowl Off-Week
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
What Did Lou Holtz Text John Boehner After Obama's Inauguration?
Buried down at the bottom of this standard "Republicans in peril" MSNBC post (courtesy of reader @DSwedler) is a strange anecdote from House Speaker John Boehner about former Notre Dame coach and current ESPN in-house saliva factory Lou Holtz:...
Scarves Are Bullshit
It's cold outside today, unless you're one of those insufferable L.A. people who are like IT'S SUNNY AND 70 HERE IN DOUCHE HEAVEN, BABY! Anyway, I had to venture out into the WINDSWEPT MOONSCAPE today, and it was imperative to cover both my neck and the lower half of my face. This is the Scarf Zone,...
Cincinnati Will Host The 2015 MLB All-Star Game
The Cincinnati Enquirer is reporting that the Reds will host baseball's All-Star Game in 2015, the first time since Riverfront Stadium hosted in 1988. Bud Selig will officially announce it on Wednesday, but it's a done deal—after seven years of lobbying by the team....
Your Manti Te'o Live Funbag
You have questions about Manti Te'o. I have questions about Manti Te'o. The FOOTBALL GODS have questions about Manti Te'o. It's a story that is hypnotically inexplicable—the kind of story that sprouts a zillion different theories as to potential motivations. So let's explore some of those, shall we?...
Lance Armstrong's Biggest Crime Was Being A Huge Asshole
By now, you know that Lance Armstrong will be giving a two-and-a-half-hour confession to Oprah Winfrey on Thursday and Friday nights (Two nights? Jesus Christ, Shogun wasn't that long). No one who watches this thing will be there to hear Armstrong admit to doping. We all knew that ages ago. The reas...
Texas Reinstates Two Football Players Linked To Alleged Sexual Assault; Police Say They're Still Investigating
It's been nearly three weeks since two University of Texas football players —linebacker Jordan Hicks and quarterback Case McCoy—were sent home from the Alamo Bowl for violating unspecified team rules. Hicks and McCoy were never arrested, and San Antonio police never identified them as suspects, but ...
Save The Black Quarterback
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Baseball Writers Would Like You To Know That Filling Out A Hall Of Fame Ballot Is Super Hard
The Baseball Hall of Fame vote is released at 2 p.m. today, but why wait that long to treat yourself to the collective moral grandstanding of the world's baseball writers? We've already got their "I filled out my ballot like this, because I must do what is right" columns—each very special one a remi...
