balls Page 77 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cockblocked By Creationism!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The NFL Is Still Holding Back Saturday Football Because The NFL Hates You
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Five Players Ejected From Marshall-WVU Game As Kick To The Balls Turns "Friends Of Coal" Game Unfriendly
The intrastate rivalry between West Virginia and Marshall has been nasty of late both on the football field and basketball court, and the annual Capital Classic game (featuring a massive, full-court logo from "Friends of Coal") turned ugly again tonight in Charleston as the Herd's Robert Goff deli...
Are You A Terrible Person For Wondering How Death Impacts Your Sports Team?
In the wake of the Jovan Belcher murder-suicide this weekend I got this email from reader Tom:...
San Diegans Who Tuned In To Their CBS Affiliate For The Morning News Instead Found Some Dude's Balls [Probably NSFW]
San Diego CBS affiliate KFMB's morning news features a regular segment with shitty "morning zoo" jocks from the local megacorp-owned mass communication dinosaur that is an FM radio station. Usually these segments are unfunny, marginally offensive, and interesting only to those who have suffered br...
What Will Football Look Like 50 Years From Now?
I'm sick this week, and when you have children being sick is the BEST. You don't have to do jack shit. You can go nap. You can mainline chicken broth directly into your wrist. You can opt out of bath duty and dish duty and garbage duty. The other parent has to do all the work. It's awesome. It's lik...
Why It's OK For The Chiefs To Play A Game Today
On its face, the idea of Romeo Crennel having to coach a football game mere hours after witnessing his own player, Jovan Belcher, commit suicide seems petty and dickish and greedy and lazy and stupid. I know that was my first thought yesterday when the NFL announced that the Panthers-Chiefs game wou...
Who Is This Hack Who Wrote About Colin Kaepernick's Tattoos, And Why Is He Such A Racist Dicktroll?
So this had no purpose but to get attention, and now it has: a remarkably racist column about biracial 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick written by AOLSportingNewsFanhouseBleacherMuckrackGrid writer David Whitley. Kaepernick's parents have already seen it and openly lambasted it. And KSK's Mike Tunison poin...
The Best Time To Fire A Head Coach
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
The Hater's Guide To Notre Dame
You’re gonna hear a lot about Notre Dame over the next month or so, particularly from media types like Tony Kornheiser who have spent the past 20 years holding back a collective tidal wave of jism, waiting for the program to return to prominence so that they can declare how good it is for college fo...
Dear Fireman Ed: F-U-C-K Off! Off! Off!
In case you missed it, unofficial Jets mascot Fireman Ed, whose claim to fame is going to Jets games and spelling one word very loudly, "retired" yesterday. And the best part is that he retired because people at the stadium were just too darn mean to him:...
Take Your "Elite" Quarterback Argument And Shove It Up Your Stupid Butthole
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Cockblocked By Joe Mauer!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase two heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Mitch Albom Is The Meat In Baseball's Dumbfuck Stew
I'm gonna preface all this by telling you that I don't really watch baseball, nor do I particularly care who won the AL MVP award. But the beauty of reading a terrible Mitch Albom column is that you don't HAVE to know much about anything, because Mitch will always deliberately know less than you. Mi...
Have Head Injuries Actually Hurt The NFL's Popularity?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
The Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
(The 2013 edition can be found here.)...
The Case For The NFL Adopting Fantasy Scoring For Real
Your letters:...
Coaches Are Freaks
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....