balls Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Throbbing Election In Our Sweatpants! Your Deadspin Live Blog And Open Thread
Before we start tonight, I offer you this heartwarming story from our own Tommy Craggs about going to vote today: "I saw an old man melt down in the middle of the gym. He was screaming, 'Does anyone work here??' And then, when he learned he'd have to wait in line to use a booth, he crumpled up his b...
Which State Would Win A 50-State Battle Royal?
Oh hey, it's Election Day. Don't forget to vote! Just kidding. I don't give a crap if you vote or not. It just makes me feel like a BIG SERIOUS PERSON to lecture all of you about going out and voting. It's the Easterbrookian thing to do. You have a duty to your country and your Lord. Now get out the...
Cockblocked At Coachella!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Do Airheads Make Better Quarterbacks?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
How To Carve A Pumpkin: A Guide For Terrible, Drunk Parents
It's Halloween, which means that it's time to dress your children up in cosplay costumes and send them out into a dark neighborhood, asking neighbors for things to put inside their mouths. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? Anyway, before trick-or-treating, you have to buy a pumpkin and carve it. That t...
What Is The Greatest Conference-Room Food Of All Time?
This week's Funbag is just a bit shorter due to the MURDERCANE and the fact that we're working off of Tumblr today. Let's get to your letters before the power belatedly goes out and I'm forced to eat my own children: ...
Do Not Touch Daddy's Electronics
When I was 6 years old, my dad was an avid collector of hi-fi equipment. He had an entire bookcase filled with all kinds of boxy hi-fi pieces, each one featuring hundreds of switches and knobs and dials and all kinds of crazy shit that helped you hear every possible sound inside a recording studio, ...
Patriots Fans Are Still The Worst
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
More Angry Voicemails: Crazy Self-Described "Lesbian On Top" Leaves Crazy Message
Ever get a phone call from someone that was wrong number and wonder if it wasn't a wrong number at all, that it was just some crazy person dialing random numbers so that they could hear someone's voice? Reader Sebastian knows the feeling:...
Another Horrible Way Friends Cockblock One Another
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Fantasy Football MVP Should Be An Official NFL Award
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Cockblocked By The Lord!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Tim Tebow Is Destroying The Jets Before He Even Has A Chance To Destroy Them As A Starter
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
This Might Be The World's Most Ingenious Prank Phone Call
Reader John emailed me this week with this audio of a prank conference call he set up between two pizza joints. He explains his methodology thusly: ...
Robert Griffin III Is The Quarterback Of The Future Of The Past
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An English Rugby Player Literally Played One Of His Balls Off
Paul Wood told the BBC Radio Manchester that "it really sounds worse than it is," so I suppose we'll just have to take his word for it. But ... ouch: Wood ruptured one of his testicles during a match Saturday and had to have it removed afterward. Yeah....