balls Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cockblocked In The Big Easy!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Michael Wilbon Is A Gutless, Starfucking Crybaby Troll
For the past three decades, Mike Wilbon has earned a living barely disguising his contempt for you, the filthy peasant sports fan. Whether boasting to the world how unsurprised he was about Sean Taylor being murdered, or chastising you for looking to him for gossip from his White House partygoing, o...
No One Gives A Shit What The Coach Told You At Halftime, Michele Tafoya
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
The Definitive List Of The World’s Most Important Jobs
Your letters:...
Hooking Up At Night In Central Park Is Every Bit As Foolish As You'd Expect
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Are Commissioners Pointless?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
FIRE THIS ASSHOLE
This is Roger Goodell. He's the commissioner of the NFL. Someone, please, FIRE THIS ASSHOLE....
The Scab Refs And The NFL Slide Deeper Into Incompetence
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Cockblocked by Purell!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Is It Poor Form To Literally Rip A Home Run Ball Out Of Another Fan's Hand?
This is from Anthony Rizzo's first of two home runs yesterday (the Pirates' collapse continues apace). I want to draw your attention not to the play, but to the two gentlemen in center, struggling over that all-important baseball. Who has the moral high ground, and the right to the ball?...
The Scab Refs Still Suck, And Roger Goodell Is Still A Hypocritical Shitstain
On Aug. 31, just a week or so prior to the kickoff of the new season, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell sent out a "note" to the public that was essentially a press release, a reminder to you, the NFL viewing public, that the league was going balls-out on player safety:...
Cockblocked By An Anal Fistula!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Football Is The Hardest Sport To Explain To Children And Stupid People
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....
Hey, America, Don't Let Your Children Shit At Restaurant Tables
Here's a fun little news item: a Utah woman named Kimberley Decker took her kids out to eat and snapped a photo of a nearby family toilet-training their kids right at the dinner table. Instead of having their kids sit on booster seats, the mother had them sitting on portable toilets, so that they co...
The Five Most Racist Cities In America!
Last night I had an intense dream that was broken up when I had to get up and take a leak at 6 a.m. But the dream was so fascinating that when I got back into bed, I tried desperately to pick up where I left off, as if I were unpausing a movie. I was walking down the road and carrying two suitcases....
Cockblocked by Hot Wings!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Why Your Team Sucks Butthurt Awards
“Butthurt” is an awful word. Its origins are almost certainly tied to the “Bros icing bros” movement of aught-ten, as in, “Aw bro! You’re just BUTTHURT because I iced you while Tina was givin’ you a Jeff Smoker, bro!” We at Deadspin generally go out of our way to avoid using it, because it’s a short...