balls Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Kansas City Chiefs
Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
The NCAA Is Using Penn State To Justify Its Own Horrid Existence
OK, first of all, you people at the NCAA are gutless shitbags. I know you're probably spending this morning in an Indianapolis conference room patting each other on the back and tugging each other's cocks and ordering EXTRA Einstein bagels for everyone for a job well done (why not, you've got $60 mi...
Don't Leave A Rubber On All Night By Accident
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
<em>Appetite For Destruction</em> At 25: One Horny Young Boy's Recollection
The first kid in my middle school to discover Appetite for Destruction was a big football player named Si. Everyone in my class was terrified of Si because Si was the only kid in our grade who had gotten pubes. You walked into the shower and in the crowd of hairless penises was this big kid with a m...
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Denver Broncos
Some people are fans of the Denver Broncos. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Denver Broncos. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
Is The Name "Le-a" (Pronounced "Ledasha") An Urban Legend? Probably.
I wrote a Dadspin post about stupid baby names last week, and whenever I write about baby names, I inevitably get scores of emails featuring the same dubious story. Here is one such example:...
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Oakland Raiders
Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
No One Is Currently Guarding The Joe Paterno Statue
Since the release of the Freeh report and the Paterno family's clumsy attempts to discredit it, the statue of Joe Paterno has become an all-encompassing flashpoint in the struggle between critics of the university and PSU loyalists. Bobby Bowden wants it torn down. The Penn State Board of Trustees (...
Presenting One Of History's Great Walks Of Shame
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Deadspin Five-Point Plan To Rescue Penn State Football
It's the day after the Freeh Report and, as you probably could have guessed, sportswriters have begun falling all over themselves to call for the end of Penn State football. Here's Slate arguing for the death penalty. Here's FOX's Jen Engel doing likewise. And Christine Brennan. And, of course, Dan ...
American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse
My wife has a subscription to Parents magazine, and the fun thing about Parents magazine is that every issue is virtually identical. Whether you pick up the June 2008 issue or the March 2012 issue, you're still getting all the same shit, including items like "567 fun knitting crafts to help stave of...
ESPN Trots Out Matt Millen To Fumble His Way Through The Freeh Report
On a day like today, you can find any number of fine journalistic outlets that are covering the Freeh report in painstaking, intelligent detail. You can follow Sara Ganim, who has already won a Pulitzer Prize for her diligence on the Sandusky scandal. Or you can follow Yahoo's Dan Wetzel, who is p...
The Deadspin Guide To Mutual Oral Copulation
I took my kids to the pool when I was on vacation last week, and at the end of our day splashing around I dragged my son into the locker room to shower him and change him. So he sits down and starts taking off his bathing suit, and when he stands back up, I hear this big THUD on the bathroom floor. ...
Your Home Run Derby Open Thread
Do you want to know the terrifying truth, and see All-Stars sock a few dingers? The Home Run Derby is on ESPN now, right now, and it's going to be Bermanly unbearable, and also fun to watch because it's fricking home runs, you Communist. Matt Kemp captains the Senior Circuit, Robinson Cano the Arcad...
Our Drew Magary Applied For A Spot On <em>Chopped</em>; This Is His Application
I watch a shitload of Chopped, the Food Network show where four chefs are forced to create a three-course meal in 80 minutes using random crap like smoked donkey penises and Taiwanese shitfruit. And reader Jim recently alerted me that the show was going to have a special episode dedicated to amateur...
Marlins Complain To MLB Because Greg Dobbs, Justin Ruggiano, And Steve Cishek Didn't Make The All-Star Team
Giancarlo Stanton, the hulking Marlins right fielder, is having one hell of an age-22 season—19 home runs, a .284/.364/.554 batting line, an all-star spot, solid gold stuff. Or, well, Stanton's season was solid gold until he hurt his knee. He underwent surgery today and pulled out of the home run de...
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: San Diego Chargers
Some people are fans of the San Diego Chargers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the San Diego Chargers. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
Andy Murray Advances To Wimbledon Semifinals, Keeps His Balls In His Shorts
Earlier this afternoon, Andy Murray defeated David Ferrer in a quarterfinals match at Wimbledon. Murray won the match in four sets, and will face off against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in the semifinals. Murray is looking to become the first British man to win Wimbledon since 1936....
White Sox Bribing Fans To Vote Jake Peavy To The All-Star Team
It's time again for the stumpin' and campaignin' of the All-Star Game Final Vote, which I reluctantly capitalize since it's not a particularly creative branding (No "Plus One?" Or "Let's Get The Japanese Fans On Our Mailing Lists?"), and it's not particularly final, since most of these guys will get...
MLB Announces Starting Lineups For 83rd All-Star Game, Fans Everywhere Pissed
The MLB announced the starters for this year's midsummer exhibition-game-that-is-not-really-an-exhibition-game-because-home-field-advantage-is-inexplicably-awarded-to-the-league-that-wins-this-exhibition-game. That means it's time for everyone to gripe about how Player X should have been a starter ...