balls Page 91 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
2011: The Year We Became The United States Of Trolling
Well, that about wraps up yet another shitty year of the new millennium. I don't know about you, but I personally can't wait to see what future shitty years have in store: rising water prices, a sharp growth in armed RoHoWa militias, a new Pitbull album ... everything shitty is on the table, people....
Never Hook Up In A Bunk Bed
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
A Holiday Public-Urination Story To Warm Your Heart
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed. Image by Jim Cooke....
MLB's New Security Chief, A Former SF Giant, Once Denied Monica Lewinsky Entry To The Oval Office
It's weird to think about MLB executives doing anything other than MLB-executive-ing. I can't think of Bud Selig cutting timber, for example. But a story in the Washington Post introduces us to Bill Bordley, the league's new chief of security, who pitched for the Giants before joining the Secret Ser...
2011 Deadspin Hall Of Fame Nominee: Pig Who Pooped On His Own Balls (NSFW?)
He pooped on his own balls....
Fuck You, Charlie Brown
Every year you watch A Charlie Brown Christmas, and every year you come away depressed. You're a real asshole, Charlie Brown. Originally published Dec. 9, 2010. Read Tom Scocca's counterpoint: "Charlie Brown Is Bigger Than Jesus."...
Christmas Hype Will Drive Your Children To Insanity
Christmas is four days away. I know this because my kids have been counting down the days since, I dunno, LAST goddamn Christmas. Children have boring lives. They have to go to school all day. They have to listen to adults tell them what to do. They can't watch porn. It blows. Christmas is one of th...
White People Should Never Do Hip-Hop Karaoke
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering bargains, pooping in thongs, hip hop karaoke, and more....
Gifts For People Who Play With Balls
It can be hard to watch sports all the time and not feel that instinctive, itching urge to get off the couch and toss a ball around for a little while (or at least during the commercial breaks). But we want to make sure that you take heed of the special hierarchy of balls that are available for toss...
Lovesick College Kid Turns Down Historic Lay
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Why People Who Hate Tim Tebow Hate Tim Tebow
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
The <em>Postmortal</em> Live Holiday Funbag
All right, we did this once before and it didn't end with Sarah Silverman crying, so let's close out the year with one more live funbag. I'll be here answering your questions from 1 till 4. You know where to send them. Put LIVE FUNBAG in the subject line. I'll get through as many as I can. And if yo...
Cockblocked By Peanut Butter Cups!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Great NFL Migration Is About To Begin
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Confessions Of A Terrible Father; Or, How To Fight That Urge To Put Your Kid Through A Wall
I got an email this week from a reader named Chris that made me think about the times when parenthood can leave you a shriveled-up, emotional wreck of a human being. This was his email....
Always Remember: Hot Tubs Are Disgusting Places
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Every Football Player Is A Dirty Football Player
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
How The Internet May Have Saved The NFL And NBA
Before we get to the Funbag, just a reminder that I'll be reading in Milwaukee tomorrow night at 7 p.m. at Boswell Book Company, followed by all of us going out and getting drunk on cheddar-flavored ale. Then, on Thursday night, I'll be in Chicago reading at the Book Cellar at 7 p.m. Come one, come ...
This Thanksgiving, Cherish Your Time As King Of The Remote
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....