ballsdeep Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And Now, Your Wildest-Ass Stories About Getting Into A Fight
When I was in middle school my class went on an overnight trip to Spanish camp, which I remember vividly for two reasons. First off, I farted so loud in the cabin one night that one of the counselors woke up and yelled at me for farting so loud. Secondly, I got into a fight. Now I use the word “figh...
Fire Mark Jackson<em></em>
Oh, hello again. Yes, I have returned from my book-writing sabbatical—venturing to the Yukon, wrestling wild salmon, scribbling long paragraphs about the FATE OF MAN on the back of aged moosehide—and am ready to rejoin you, my dearest online friends, once more. I feel refreshed and revigored, if suc...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Mighty Morphin Power Rangers</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....
God Help Me, I'm Addicted To The NFL's Brilliant Horseshit<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Do You Look At The Keyboard When You Type?<em></em>
Before we get into this week’s Funbag, I have a highly irritating announcement, which is that I’m gonna take a sabbatical in May. Actually, I was quietly suspended by corporate for pouring a bucket of live carpenter bees down Burneko’s chimney, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is that I’...
Should A Sports Hall Of Fame Have A Maximum Capacity?<em></em>
Before we get into the Funbag, I wanna talk about pizza, specifically this tweet I sent out while I was less than sober: ...
Are Slow Jams Dead?<em></em>
Before we dive into the Funbag, a quick programming note: I’m on vacation next week. So there won’t be a Funbag next Tuesday. I’m sure you’ll be able to deal....
How Not To Write About Movies
Black Panther is the biggest hit of 2018 and stands poised to become one of the five highest grossing movies in the history of this continent. It’s a rare movie that serves as both an artistic and financial success and has absolutely destroyed any preconceived boardroom notions about a movie with a ...
Now We Get To See If Kirk Cousins Is Really Worth A Shit<em></em>
So… Kirk Cousins. It is extremely difficult—impossible, even—to evaluate Kirk Cousins solely as a quarterback when, for the past six seasons, he has plied his trade in the middle of Dan Snyder’s never-ending diarrhea rodeo. He was drafted by Mike Shanahan in the fourth round as an insurance policy f...
COME TO MINNESOTA, DREW BREES!<em></em>
NFL free agency begins next week and the biggest name available will be quarterback Kirk Cousins, who is sure to command a blessed shitload of money from one of five horny suitors (Denver, Minnesota, Cleveland, Arizona, the Jets). HOWEVER, there’s a very good possibility that Cousins won’t even be t...
Fuck The Possession Arrow
Before we begin, a brief CORRECTION. Last week I defended the practice of baseball teams fucking around in spring training and inviting the likes of Russell Wilson to take a few stunt at bats. In light of Chris Berman “managing” a game for the Giants this past weekend, I have changed my mind. Spring...
Use Some Goddamn Headphones<em></em>
Here is a take for you: Wear some goddamn headphones when you watch a video in public....
I Think I Could Ski Jump<em></em>
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking Olympic boning, poopy undies, phone tag, and more. ...
