ballsdeep Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Braying Shitheel Mike Lupica Pens Worst Possible Column About Kevin Durant
It’s the question on America’s mind: After Kevin Durant abandoned Oklahoma City to join forces with the Golden State Warriors and their garbage fans, who would blurt out the shittiest, most predictably obnoxious, pseudo-macho take possible? Would it be Stephen A. Smith, who previously threatened Dur...
A Highly Cromulent Explanation Of Why MJ Remains The GOAT
Before anyone in Cleveland even had a chance to rip their shirt off in celebration, former ESPN take artiste and sad-man-alone-in-an-airport-hotel Skip Bayless leaped at the chance to diminish LeBron James’ third NBA title and protect Michael Jordan’s standing as the greatest basketball player of al...
Hey Warriors, You Are Choking Shitbags
Today is Cleveland’s day, and I join with the rest of America in obnoxiously glomming onto the city’s moment even though I don’t deserve to. (In fact, I have spent much of the past decade joyously shitting on Cleveland for its miseries … but really, I’m so happy for you now!) Last night was one of t...
The Struts Are Fucking Perfect
What are you doing right now? Are you working? Eating? Looking at your phone? I want you to forget all that shit…...
It’s Time We Talked About The Gawker Sale
For over a year, we at Deadspin have remained fairly quiet about the insane story consuming our parent company, Gawker Media. But while the Hulk Hogan verdict is being appealed and this company is being put up for sale (***flashes bare leg at Mark Cuban***), I think it’s time that we talked openly a...
We Have Found The Ultimate Contrarian Ali Take
God bless you, Ted Diadiun of Cleveland.com. Just when I thought this week’s avalanche of Muhammad Ali tributes would be uniformly thoughtful and compassionate, you—good sir—had the courage to write what needed to be written: that Ali was a preening showboat and is the reason lots of people died in ...
Shit, I Guess We Should Talk About The Gorilla
On this week’s Deadcast, Marchman and I dive into the surprisingly blame-free death of Harambe the Gorilla. I searched all week for a decent gorilla take, and there was none to be had. If anything, THAT is the real tragedy of all this. I guess the only real lesson is to avoid zoos because they’re ho...
The Hater’s Guide To The 2016 NBA Finals
A few years ago, when my children were very small, I lamented the fact that I had to cut a great deal of sports out of my life. This happens when you have a baby. There’s no time to watch a tetrafinal playoff game because the kid needs to be fed or taken for a stroll or put to bed or have its butt w...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Jake And The Neverland Pirates</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. ...
Should I Feel Bad For Helping A College Football Player Cheat?
Your letters!...
Kitchen Utensils, Ranked
It’s time for us to play the ultimate game of knifey-spoony, folks. Yes, we’re ranking kitchen utensils on this week’s Deadcast, and I think you’ll be surprised about how strongly you feel about where spoons belong in the culinary hierarchy....
Bernie Should Get The Fuck Out
You won’t believe this, but Bernie Sanders won the state of Oregon last night. (Real fucking shocker there, I know.) Anyway, Bernie has no realistic mathematical shot at securing the delegates needed to win the Democratic nomination, AND some his supporters are now openly threatening people, because...
Bill Simmons Introduces Himself to HBO Viewers With Worst <i>Bull Durham</i> Speech Ever
A year after his rude ouster from ESPN, you’re about to get a whole shitload of Bill Simmons back in your life, both at The Ringer (set to formally debut next month, although they’re already pumping out vital “Is Tom Hiddleston A Superstar?” takes on Facebook) and with his new HBO show, Any Given We...
Barbecue Side Dishes, Ranked
It’s Friday afternoon and it’s rained for 900 consecutive days. Let’s fight about ranking barbecue side dishes. Are you ready? Here we go:...