ballsdeep Page 25 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What It’s Like To Be Protested
I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I was standing on the steps of Oviatt Library at Cal State Northridge, giving a speech to all the incoming freshmen as part of the university’s formal convocation. (Quick acknowledgment: Yes, this actually happened, so you are now free to dump on me for being a...
What Chair Has Been Farted In The Most?
Chairs! They’re soft and comfortable and they provide the perfect acoustic backdrop for a good, solid round of farting. But what chair has been farted in the most over time? Can you even NAME a famous chair without cheating? Is an uninformed discussion about chair farts worth your time at all? THAT ...
The Best Places To Urinate Outside, Ranked
Before we get deep into the bowels of the Funbag, one quick note: I’m out next week on Spring Break with my kids. This will not be like your Spring Break. Your Spring Break will be in Lake Havasu surrounded by fruity drinks and horny twentysomethings. I, on the other hand, will be stuck in Virginia ...
The Hater’s Guide To March Madness 2016
It’s that time of year again … time to say rotten, hateful things about every team in the NCAA tournament bracket. And what a bunch of shitty, corrupt teams they are! I don’t think there’s ever been a tournament featuring so many schools that are in the middle of horrifying scandals: Yale, Cal, Oreg...
Skins’ Proposed Stadium Has Moat, Is Fucking Stupid
Continuing with the timeless tradition of NFL teams extolling the virtues of a futuristic, unworkable stadium plan that your city does not want or need, here is the Worst Franchise On Earth unveiling their proposed new stadium, which has clearly been rastafied by at least 10 percent....
Warriors Games Should Be On Earlier, Dammit
As you’re probably aware, the Golden State Warriors are currently 57-6 and have a legit shot at beating the NBA’s single-season win record. They’re the sort of once-in-a-lifetime superteam that has captured the imaginations of diehards and casual fans alike, and I would very much like to watch them ...
Did The Warriors Break LeBron James?
The Cleveland Cavaliers aren’t winning the NBA title this season. You know it, I know it, and somewhere deep down, Cavs forward and baldness cure test subject LeBron James has to know it, too. He has to know that he’s only got a few more years left in him, and those years are likely to be spent watc...
Should The U.S. Boycott The Rio Olympics?
Oh, hey, looks like Olympic organizers in Rio won’t be able to clear the water of raw sewage in time for this summer’s Olympics. How much danger does poop water present to our athletes, and should we consider, you know, NOT making them compete in poop water by boycotting the whole thing? That’s just...
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars
Chris Rock is hosting the Oscars this year, and he took the gig long before the nominees were announced and everyone got pissed because all of them were white. So here we have one of the greatest social commentators of his generation presiding over a ceremony that is in DESPERATE need of a public fl...
Is Steph Curry Making Other NBA Players Worse?
Steph Curry is a bloodless assassin who could shoot your eyelashes off from a mile away and is destroying the rest of the NBA by nailing shots from near-mid-court on a regular basis. He’s a fucking freak of nature, but is his uncanny long-range ability rubbing off on lesser NBA players (****cough co...
Down With Cold Pizza
In case you missed it, we’ve decided to change up the old Deadcast here and spend 45 minutes every week doing nothing but answering your Funbag questions (Don’t worry, the regular, written version Funbag will stay where it always is). So if you got something on your mind, email the Funbag and we’ll ...
Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>PAW Patrol</i>
It’s time once again for our ongoing series surveying the awful shows you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours....
I’m Too Old To Enjoy The O.J. Simpson Renaissance
I was hanging out with a friend the other day when I mentioned that FX was gonna start airing a miniseries about the O.J. Simpson trial and he said to me, “I saw that, and I realized that, even after all these years, I’m still fucking sick to death of the whole thing.”...
The One Thing The NFL Will Never Do To Make Football Safer
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Bad Internet Comments Are The Best Thing In The World
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