ballsdeep Page 71 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pussyblocked By Jealous Male Suitors!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
24 Hours At Comic Con
The thing about Comic Con is that, underneath all the geeky costumes and all that other fanboy bullshit, it's still very much a convention. It takes place in a nondescript convention hall that's roughly the size of the Pentagon. The panels take place in big depressing conference rooms that look very...
Dog Feces Vs. Human Feces: WHO YA GOT?!
I was at the gym earlier today and I was in the shower. The shower at the gym has an opaque glass door, but the door only goes up to my neck, so anyone in the locker room can see my big fat alien head while I'm showering. Anyway, I'm standing there washing off, nothing malevolent. And for some reaso...
Cockblocked By Accessories!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Your Guide To The Post-Lockout NFL World
The NFL lockout is supposed to end this week, possibly as early as today. And Lord help me, IT BETTER, or else I will personally void my bowels on Logan Mankins's head....
Is Going Commando In Gym Shorts OK?
Before I get to the Funbag, just a quick reminder that I'll be at Comic Con on Saturday, doing the Immortality panel at 10AM in Room 7AB. You can buy a copy of "The Postmortal" a month early if you go. And you get to meet me! And then you get to ignore me when you realize that one of the dudes who w...
The Dangers Of Handjobs From Softball Players
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Harry Potter Versus Star Wars: The Final Judgment
The final Harry Potter movie opens up this week, and all week long people have been saying "goodbye" to the franchise. Lots of crying in your butterbeer and all that....
Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...
Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter Column
In a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit....
Cockblocked By Tyler Thigpen!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Naked Children In Public: A Deadspin Special Investigation
The night before I got married, my parents hosted a rehearsal dinner at a restaurant in DC. They rented out one of the side rooms for the dinner, and the event room had its own set of bathrooms separate from the restaurant's main pissers. So before the dinner, my dad went into the men's room and pla...
Hookers And Cosplay And You!
I was at the airport the other day and we were an hour or two early for our flight because I've inherited my mother's paranoia with regards to missing flights. So we're sitting in the terminal with nothing to do when I remember that we walked by an arcade on the way to the gate. So I grab both of my...
Deadspin Classic: A Balls Deep Guide To The Fourth Of July
Happy Fourth of July. Since there's not gonna be any football for a long time, how about a Fourth of July Jamboroo from the Balls Deep vault?...
Cockblocked By Waves!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
What's The Best Way To Clean Up Spooge After Bareback Sex?
Hey, I'm some lady. I'm filling in for that guy you like, who is on vacation, which means that he is most likely drinking rum out of a hollow fruit and riding a horse on a beach somewhere right now (romantic!). Speaking of segueing into talking about horses, my main beef with horses is how fragile t...
Cockblocked By Shrooms!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
What’s It Like To Be Aggressively Licked?
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Holding Farts In And You!
Yesterday, I took my wife's clothes to the dry cleaners, an errand I ran for her without her asking me to do so. And when I do something benevolent like that, I expect full credit and reams of endless praise for being so considerate. So I came home and left the dry cleaning ticket right out in the o...