The Baltimore Orioles Have Been Even Worse Than They Look
In 2005, the Baltimore Orioles shocked the world with a 42-28 start, good enough to keep them in first place in the AL…
Orioles Rookie's First Career Base Hit Turns Into Ridiculous Clown Show
The Orioles and Blue Jays are currently playing a series that has no significance whatsoever to the greater baseball…
Orioles Catcher Caleb Joseph Wants All His Teammates To Think About How Badly They Suck
The Orioles have won 43 games this season. They’ve lost 107. They are tied with the 1988 team for most losses in…
Was This Raccoon Witch Cursing The Baltimore Orioles? An Investigation
The Baltimore Orioles came into Wednesday night a horrendous 52.5 games out of first place in the AL East, and an…
Whatever Caleb Joseph Was Doing On This Home-Plate Play, It Didn't Work
With two outs in the top of the fifth in today’s game between the last-place Orioles and the Yankees, Baltimore catcher…
Adam Jones Wouldn't Let The Orioles Trade Him, Is Awesome
It’s no secret that the Baltimore Orioles are, uh, resetting. Over the past month they’ve had the big Manny Machado deal
Outfielder Carlos Gomez Takes Mound, Pitches Exactly Like Non-Pitcher
The position-player-as-pitcher trend continues piling up numbers at a record pace. Three more position players took the…
The Dodgers Have Won The Manny Machado Sweepstakes, Finally
Manny Machado is heading west. USA Today’s Bob Nightengale reported yesterday that the Baltimore Orioles had the…
There's A New Co-Leader In The Manny Machado Sweepstakes
Manny Machado homered in his first-at bat, his 24th of the year, and then left the game after the fourth inning,…
Manny Machado Is Smashing Dongs Against The Yankees While He Still Has The Chance
Orioles shortstop Manny Machado is very likely going to be out of Baltimore by the end of the month, and if you believe…
Yes, The Yankees Are In On Manny Machado
The Yankees and Orioles split a doubleheader in Baltimore on Monday, but the games were almost a sideshow—after all, we…
The Manny Machado Sweepstakes Is Raging
Manny Machado turned 26 on Friday; he is in the prime of his career, and he is having the best season of his life. The…
The Orioles Finally, Mercifully Shelved Chris Davis
It appears the Orioles will not, in fact, let Chris Davis have the worst season in baseball history. Davis hasn’t…
What I Found At The Bottom Of My Father's Huge Collection Of Baseball Stuff
“Did he still have The Brooks Room?” one of my dad’s old friends asked me at his wake last July. It wasn’t the first…
Are The Orioles Going To Let Chris Davis Have The Worst Season Ever?
Orioles first baseman Chris Davis is in real danger of having the worst season in the history of baseball. That’s not a…
Giancarlo Stanton Blesses Bachelorette Party With Healthy Dong
Giancarlo Stanton viciously smote a poor baseball into the right field stands in Camden Yards Saturday, where it was…
Andrew Cashner Might Be Better At Hacky Sack Than Pitching
Save for the almost-nightly Manny Machado dinger, things are going horrifically wrong in Baltimore. Any twisted soul…
Buck Showalter Will Not Yield For Your Home Run Trot
A three-run dinger from Xander Bogaerts gave his Red Sox a 6-0 lead and chased Orioles pitcher Kevin Gausman in the…
Royals Assault Defenseless Orioles Pitcher With Barrage Of First-Inning Dongs
Orioles pitcher Dylan Bundy had a very short Tuesday night start against the Royals, but his outing was anything but…
The Final Installment Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker, Featuring The Greatest Anagrammed Hits
Many—most?—Orioles games feel vaguely pointless right now. The end result is usually clear before the game is underway,…