band Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sports Fella Doubles Down On The Stupid
Remember that foolish thing Bill Simmons said the other day about Tiger and Muhammad Ali? Well, Bill has taken a step back, read some old Sports Illustrateds, and decided to be foolish again, only at much greater length. [Charles Pierce]...
Sportswriter Gil LeBreton Compares Vancouver 2010 To Berlin 1936
The Vancouver Olympics were an impressive display of Canadian pride and ambition, culminating in the most dominating hometown performance in the history of the Winter Games. You know who else liked dominating the Olympics, don't you? HITLER!...
Sports Fella Leaves The Yard
OK, what in the name of Ho Chi Minh is Bill Simmons talking about here? Muhammad Ali and 'Nam? Tiger keeping his pecker out of the killing fields of Spearmint Rhino? What?...
"ESPN Bandit" Is Best Bank Robber Since Dillinger
Chicago police are on the lookout for a man who robbed four banks with nothing more than an ESPN baseball cap and a manila envelope. Suspect is 5'10", age 45-50, and not a fan of Sage Steele's skirt. [ChicagoBreakingNews]...
Montreal Columnist Breaks Out The Nazi Metaphor A Little Prematurely
The Flyers have a reputation as a dirty team. Fine. It's okay to hate them. But a February match-up between two teams barely in the playoff picture is no reason to resort to Hitler comparisons. Save it for the playoffs....
Last Night's Winner: Whatever Passes For Roy Williams's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the little man on Roy Williams's shoulder, who prevailed upon the coach to say he's very, very sorry....
Roy Williams Is A Clueless Dick
North Carolina head coach Roy Williams has previously demonstrated his complete lack of perspective on more than one occasion, but he still wants you to know that the Haitian earthquake was nothing compared to losing to Virginia at home....
You, Dim PR Person, Are Dumb And Should Be Fired From Your Job
PR people are stupid. Not all of them, just some of them. Like this person, who just sent this pitch into our tips box multiple times for a Valentine's Day tie-in. Because they are dumb....
Paul Shirley To Haiti: Go Help Yourself (UPDATE)
Onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters Paul Shirley has published his thoughts on the stricken Haitian people. Namely, that they put themselves in this mess, so he's not about to help. This may not end well....
Peter King Gets To The Core Of The Gaines Adams Tragedy
"[O]ne of the sad football things about the death of Gaines Adams, the Tampa Bay-turned-Chicago defensive end who died Sunday of cardiac arrest at 26, is that he was about to be coached into his potential by Rod Marinelli..."...
Brit Hume Will Be Reincarnated As A Prick
On Tiger: "He is said to be a Buddhist. I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So, my message to Tiger is, 'Tiger, turn to the Christian faith...'"...
Bowl-Bound Schools Save Money By Spending Less Money
Is the brunt of the recession over? Not for college football programs, some of which are being forced to take tinier charter planes to their bowl games. This is truly upsetting....
Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
It was bound to happen eventually that a blushing sportswriter would pick up his crayons and write something about Tiger Woods so egregiously stupid that it'd make Mark Whicker look like Grantland Rice. Take it away, Hank Gola....
The Bandwagon Is Actually A Nissan Truck (STILL MORE UPDATES)
Updates Yankee/Cowboy fans come out of the woodwork to defend themselves below......
When The Bands Are More Competitive Than The Football Teams
The epic Grambling State and Prairie View rivalry was taken to absurd new heights last week, as each team's marching band attempted to disrupt the other team's offense. Seriously, this is the most exciting story on SWAC football in years....
ESPN The Mag's Nudie Issue Has Finally Arrived
After months of speculation about which athletes would bravely reveal themselves sans clothing for ESPN's "Body" issue, the hard-heads at Belsky headquarters have finally leaked some of the covers all over the internet....
Zombie Pat Tillman Would Be Playing For Bill Belichick Right Now, Peter King Reports
In March 2003, the United States embarked on a misbegotten and illegitimate war in Iraq that would have profound and sadly irrevocable consequences on ... the 2005 NFL free-agent market. So says Peter King....
The Prep School Piggy-Back Bandit Terrorizes Washington (UPDATE #2)
The developmentally disabled are a funny sort. Some can count dropped toothpicks and love The People's Court (those are fictional). Others are obsessed with mounting high school athletes....
Mark Whicker Has Left The Yard Before
The year was 1991. Journalist and ex-Marine Terry Anderson had just been freed after nearly seven years of captivity in Lebanon. Seven years is a long time. Luckily, a columnist named Mark Whicker was around to put it in perspective....
Mark Whicker Leaves The Yard
I do not say this lightly: What you're about to read is the single worst piece of sports journalism ever committed to the page....