band Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ditched By Jeets, Jeb Turns To Pitbull
Jeb’s pursuit of the Miami Marlins hit a bit of a snag when he ended his partnership with Jeets, perhaps because Jeets wasn’t pulling his financial weight. Jeb has reportedly found a new partner to bring some star power to his bid, though. According to the Miami Herald, Pitbull is now on Team Jeb....
Terrible Columnist Argues Bill Cosby Is Not A Rapist Because She Liked <i>The Cosby Show</i>
Without hyperbole, we have found one of the worst major-newspaper columns since Mark Whicker left the yard....
ESPN Is Bringing Back Hank Williams Jr.
Hank Williams Jr., a man who has served for decades as living proof of just how far you can go in America simply by sharing a name with your more talented father, is returning to ESPN’s Monday Night Football broadcast to open the show with his “Are You Ready For Some Football?” theme song....
Please No One Tell Joe Scarborough That No One Would Care About His Band If He Weren't On TV
It would absolutely break his heart if you told Morning Joe’s Joe Scarborough that no one would go see his bad band perform if it weren’t for the fact that his real job is hosting a television show, so please, no one tell him....
Michigan State Band Director Was Suspended One Week For Sexually Harassing Student<em></em>
Thanks to some hard-nosed student journalists, a recent sexual harassment case involving the Michigan State marching band director has come to light 10 months after the school attempted to address the matter internally....
Stanford Band No Longer Banned From Stanford Land For Not Aligning With Stanford Brand
A little over a month ago, the Stanford band was suspended through the Spring 2017 quarter for a slate of alcohol problems and other conduct policy violations. A university conduct board recommended suspending them through the end of next school year (meaning they’d be back for the 2018 football sea...
Dispatches From The War On Marching Bands
America’s War on Marching Bands continues apace. The Rice MOB angered Baylor fans with a Title IX-themed show. The Stanford Band was suspended for the semester, which they maintain is about the school prioritizing its image over student life. And now the Columbia University Marching Band, of which I...
Stanford Band Accuses University Of Sanitizing Them To Protect School's "Well-Manicured Image"
The Stanford Band was recently suspended until the spring of 2017. They’ll now miss most of the basketball season, but it could have been much worse, as a university conduct board recommended that they be suspended for the whole year....
Stanford Band Suspended For New Policy Violations, Breaking Rules From Old Policy Violations
A year and a half after Stanford’s marching band was found responsible for a “sexual hazing” scandal, a new investigation by the university’s conduct board has discovered that the group has continued to break school alcohol policy—along with ignoring the terms of their original punishment. Though th...
The Strange Case Of The Manhattan Bandit, Serial High School Track And Field Cheater
It seems like it would be fairly difficult to cheat in a cross country or track race. There’s little gamesmanship in foot racing. You show up, you run for the allotted distance, and you finish. It’s a punishingly simple sport, and unless you are doping, cheating is sort of impossible. Which is all t...
Stanford Band Doofuses Still Barred From Cal Rivalry Game
The Stanford marching band has been banned from road games since May 2015 for a “sexual hazing” scandal, but they’ve been allowed to attend bowl games. They made everyone mad at the Rose Bowl last year by being quirky and transgressive enough to make a completely out-of-left-field joke about how muc...
Rice MOB Performs Baylor Scandal-Themed Halftime Show
The Rice University Marching Owl Band performed a “tribute” to Baylor’s sexual assault scandal by forming a “IX” in front of the visiting team’s seating section:...
Argentine Soccer Coach Mimics Eating Banana In Racist Gesture Aimed At Brazilian Fans
We’re used to seeing soccer players and fans act despicably, but it’s pretty rare for a coach to jump into the fray of depressingly common shitheadery. Defying this trend is Juan Carlos Gambandé, the goalkeepers’ coach at Argentina’s Racing Club, being a racist asshole at the expense of some Brazili...
Let's Remember Some Bands
I was listening to Japandroids yesterday, and that made me wonder what the heck ever happened to Japandroids. Maybe you have forgotten about Japandroids :( But now you remember them. Let’s remember some other bands:...
Iowa Senator Introduces Just The Whiniest Bill About The Stanford Band
The notoriously “edgy” Stanford marching band performed a skit full of dumb hick stereotypes during halftime of Stanford’s 45-16 thwacking of Iowa in the Rose Bowl. Despite the fact that the skit wasn’t particularly good, funny, or unexpected, everybody lost their goddamn minds. Iowa fans got mad, R...
The Grateful Dead Literary-Industrial Complex Is A Long, Strange Trip All Its Own
The Grateful Dead are with us, always—in the past year, inescapably so. In our modern, retromaniacal culture, their benevolent aims and DIY apparatuses, from ticketing to merch to bootlegging, have long been a refuge for their fans. And 2015 peaked with the band’s latest, greatest, and allegedly las...
Rose Bowl Officials Condemn Stanford Band For Mocking Iowa During Halftime Show
The Stanford Marching Band—a performatively quirky group of college musicians currently banned from road games for “sexual hazing”—is continuing its truly remarkable run of pissing everyone off. They got to go to the Rose Bowl because it was a neutral site game, and they commemorated their trip by t...
Cute Australian Kid Fights Through Hiccups To Perform National Anthem
7-year-old Ethan here was hit with a very untimely bout of the hiccups right before he was to sing the national anthem before an Australian Baseball League game between the Brisbane Bandits and the Adelaide Bite. Did he ask for a second to compose himself? Did young Ethan request some water?...
David Cross Parodies "Know Your Rights" Videos With Keegan-Michael Key
In preview of David Cross and Bob Odenkirk’s new Netflix sketch series With Bob and David, they’ve released a clip which parodies the “Know Your Rights” videos. If you haven’t seen them, the series is a YouTube staple that features various ways with which to engage with law enforcement, and are ofte...