baseball Page 116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Reports: David Ortiz Hospitalized After Being Shot In Dominican Republic Robbery Attempt [Updating]

According to multiple reports, retired Red Sox slugger and former World Series MVP David Ortiz was hospitalized with a gunshot wound in the Dominican Republic Sunday evening. Enrique Rojas of ESPN reportedly heard directly from Ortiz’s father that Ortiz was shot “in an amusement center” in Santo Dom...

Madison Bumgarner Gets Roasted To Hell By Max Muncy For Playing Dinger Cop

Madison Bumgarner is a good pitcher and a marvelous baseball player, but what he also is is a great big diaper baby. Few pitchers in all of baseball are as likely as Bumgarner to express their sensitivity to the humiliation of allowing a home run by shouting unwritten code commands at triumphant bat...

The Mets' Plague Doctors Are At It Again

The latest string of updates about the quad injury that’s hounding Mets second baseman Robinson Cano are so familiar that it’s hard to absorb them without feeling intense déjà vu. Let me assure you that this is not news you have read before, or a memory from some past life bubbling to the surface of...

Righteous Baseball Dude Kumar Rocker Saves Vanderbilt's Season With 19-Strikeout No-Hitter

Vanderbilt found themselves down 1-0 in the best-of-three Nashville Super Regional against Duke, and so they sent stud pitcher Kumar Rocker to the mound to start Game 2 yesterday and asked him to save the season. Rocker responded with 19 strikeouts and a no-hitter, leading Vandy to a 3-0 win....

Look At This Dumb Shit Brett Gardner Did To Himself

Yankees outfielder Brett Gardner has had a pretty rough season so far, so you can’t blame him for being mad about the fact that he had what looked like a sure extra-base hit taken away from him by Indians right fielder Jordan Luplow. What you can blame him for is busting his own lip open like a damn...

Domingo Santana Caught A Foul Ball And A Fan's Glove

Not much is going right for the Mariners these days. Just this week, one player was hit by a pitch that lacerated his spleen while another fouled a ball off himself that ruptured his testicle. So it’s the least we can do to feature a Mariners highlight where no one’s internal organs explode....

Prayers Up To Mitch Haniger's Testicle

Dickhead Fans Send Death Threats To Minor Leaguer Over No-Hitter-Ending Bunt

The Trenton Thunder outfielder who busted up a combined no-hitter on Tuesday night with a slick push bunt up the first baseline triggered a benches-clearing fracas as a result. It turns out he’s also triggered a bunch of weird assholes, as he has gone on to receive death threats from dickhead fans, ...

The Mets Think They've Outsmarted The MLB Draft And You Know How That Usually Goes

The New York Mets: honestly who ever even knows with these guys. ...

Max Kepler Kept Calling Trevor Bauer's Bluff

Twins outfielder Max Kepler was fantastic in Thursday’s 5-4 win over Cleveland as he went 4-for-4 with three home runs and a walk. There are two ways to look at this performance, and they’re not mutually exclusive. You could say that Kepler had a hell of a night, and you could say that opposing pitc...

Very Orioles Sequence Starts With Highlight Catch And Ends With Injury And Failure

This was a very valiant effort from Orioles outfielder Dwight Smith Jr. The ball was driven pretty good to left by Rougned Odor; Asdrúbal Cabrera, on first base with two outs, is running on contact. By tracking this ball down, Smith might’ve kept a run off the board. But he also plowed into the wall...

Hey, Look At That, Dallas Keuchel Has Landed With The Braves

Former Astros ace Dallas Keuchel was the last man standing from the grueling free agency winter of hell that followed the 2018 season. Craig Kimbrel, the other glaringly overqualified but evidently unemployable pitcher, landed with the Cubs Wednesday night; Thursday night, at last, Keuchel scored a ...

And Now, An Unsolicited Poem From A Yankees Fan

In a blog earlier this morning, I made the brave and extremely correct observation that the New York Yankees are a wicked, awful baseball team that deserves to play its home games on fields of fire and brimstone in the very pit of Hell itself....

When Your Country Is On Fire, There's Always Softball

When he lived in Venezuela, Freddy de Freitas played baseball every day of the week, except for the occasional Monday. He played and baked under the Caracas sun on weekends, and on weekdays after work he’d rush over to his local stadium to play under the lights. That was before the stadium lights st...

Craig Kimbrel Finally Lands A Job, Joins Cubs

It took all the way until June 5, but finally, finally, one of the handful of best closers in baseball has landed a job. Per Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic, Craig Kimbrel has reached an agreement to join the NL Central-leading Chicago Cubs on a multiyear deal:...

KBO Fielder Gets Bonked On The Head, Bailed Out By Teammate

Lotte Giants shortshop Shin Bon-ki got Jose Canseco-ed during a KBO game this morning against the Hanwha Eagles. But unlike the dinger that spawned when a baseball smacked the Bash Brother in the melon, Hanwha’s batter got no satisfaction from striking Shin’s crown. The doinked fielder got saved fro...

Minor-League Benches Clear After Bunt Breaks Up No-Hitter

Last night’s game between the Hartford Yard Goats and the Trenton Thunder pit two questions of baseball’s unwritten rules against each other. Is it okay to bunt to try to break up a no-hitter? And, is a combined no-hitter even really a no-hitter? The answers are yes and no, in some order....

Pirates Announcer Takes A Few Awkward Stumbles To The Dog Whistle

The Pirates played the Braves last night, and in the fourth inning Pittsburgh pitcher Steven Brault hit Braves slugger Ronald Acuña Jr. on the elbow with a fastball. In response to this wholly unremarkable occurrence, Pirates broadcaster Steve Blass started sputtering a bunch of heated nonsense abou...

Clint Frazier Has Some Things He'd Like To Get Off His Chest About The New York Media

The very first thing Yankees fans were told about Clint Frazier was that he was going to be good. Upon his acquisition from Cleveland in the Andrew Miller trade, Frazier was immediately ranked as the Yankees’ No. 2 prospect....

Brewers Utility Man Hernán Pérez Pitches Delightful, YouTube-Inspired 1-2-3 Inning

Normally I would not ask you to pay attention to a late half-inning in a 16–0 June blowout, where pretty much by definition nothing that happens matters in the slightest. This is no normal half-inning! First of all the pitcher is Brewers utility man Hernán Pérez, making his second appearance on the ...