baseball Page 119 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bryce Harper Can Still Throw The Dick Off A Damn Baseball
Bryce Harper’s hitting still mostly hasn’t come around. He’s socked a couple impressive dingers recently, but he’s still batting just .229 on the season after putting up another 0-fer Monday night against the Cubs. Ultimately it’ll be his plate production that determines whether the Phillies are get...
Mets Say Yoenis Cespedes Suffered "Ankle Fractures" In An Incident On His Ranch
Yoenis Cespedes hasn’t played for the Mets since last July, when he returned after months on the DL for exactly one game, homered, and then announced that he needed season-ending heel surgery. The outfielder will now be out for even longer thanks to a mysterious incident on his ranch in Port St. Luc...
It's Not Even June And The Mets Look Ready To Give Up
The Mets got entirely shut out by the Miami Marlins over the weekend, losing 2-0 on Saturday as 23-year-old starter Pablo Lopez threw a one-hitter, and then going down in a 3-0 loss on Sunday against 23-year-old Sandy Alcantara, who only gave up two hits. Add in a Friday loss to Miami, and two previ...
This Is The Vlad Jr. We've Been Waiting To See
Powerful baseball prince Vladimir Guerrero Jr. didn’t enjoy the best start to his major-league career, but over the last few games he’s begun to show what he’s capable of. First and foremost among those capabilities is hitting the ball really damn hard....
Bryce Harper Mashed A Tater Over The Damn Batter's Eye
Bryce Harper’s been having a rough go of it lately. He’s been a semi-regular subject of the Philadelphia faithful’s boo birds, and is hitting a less-than-impressive .222/.363/.430 slash line. He’s also striking out a shit ton. Yet, there’s still a reason why Philadelphia decided to give him a $330 ...
Ryan Pressly Seals MLB Record For Scoreless Appearances With Athletic Diving Throw
Over his last 39 consecutive appearances on the mound, Houston reliever Ryan Pressly’s ERA has been an utterly absurd 0.00. It’s a streak that started back in Aug. 15, 2018 against the Rockies (eat shit, Ley), and officially reached MLB-record heights on Friday against the Boston Red Sox. The scorel...
Alex Rodriguez And His Lawyers Very Much Don't Want Anyone To See A Photo Of Him On The Toilet
There’s a photo of ESPN baseball analyst and former New York Yankees pariah Alex Rodriguez using a bathroom for its intended purpose. The picture was snapped from the building adjacent to A-Rod as he sat on the toilet, but there’s nothing explicit about it. The only notable details are that there’s ...
Tony La Russa Says Farewell To His Dear Friend Grumpy Cat
Grumpy Cat, the cat that went viral for looking grumpy, has died at the age of seven. The apparent cause of death was a urinary tract infection. We now turn our attention to former baseball manager Tony La Russa to see how he’s handling the news:...
Minor League Baseball Announcer Calls His Own Sweet Catch: "I Am Very Proud Of Myself!"
In a minor league game between the Somerset Patriots and the High Point Rockers Wednesday night, a foul ball was spun back into the crowd, in the direction of the open window of Patriots broadcaster Marc Schwartz. Schwartz, who appears to be very good at his job while possessing the reflexes of a ca...
Padres' Ian Kinsler Appears To Celebrate Dinger By Yelling "Fuck All You" At The Home Crowd
Ian Kinsler hit a three-run dinger in the sixth inning Thursday night to put his Padres up a run, 4–3, over the visiting Pittsburgh Pirates. That’s good, dingers are cool, who among us doesn’t get pumped and jacked by a mighty dinger? Do you want to get pumped and jacked? Feast your eyes on this suc...
What The Fuck Are The Orioles Even Trying To Do Here?
The Orioles are putting MLB on notice with a new standard of uselessness never before seen at this level of the sport. The latest example came on Thursday against Cleveland when they put together one of the worst plays in baseball history. Everything about it was wrong in a way I’ve never seen base...
Baseball Owners Want An International Draft Because They Want Absolute Control
For North America’s amateur baseball players, be they generational talents like Mike Trout or organizational filler like Mike Fish, the road to the majors begins in the same place: with Major League Baseball’s amateur draft. There is no such system in place for international players, at least not ye...
Idiot On The Field Runs Himself Into A Corner, Gets Leveled
If you are going to run onto a major league baseball field in the middle of a game, there are two keys to survival. The first is to always keep moving, and the second is to have an exit strategy. The fan who invaded the field at last night’s Braves game followed the first rule, but failed miserably ...
Tragic Hero Trevor Cahill Pays Dearly For Runaway Ambition
Wednesday afternoon the Angels lost a close one to the Minnesota Twins, 8–7. Angels pitcher Trevor Cahill took the loss, allowing six earned runs in 4.1 innings pitched, so right there you already know it wasn’t his best day. The defining moment of Cahill’s lousy outing, and certainly the most regre...
Enjoy Or Actively Loathe True Psycho Chris Paddack While You Still Can
San Diego Padres rookie pitcher Chris Paddack got roughed up in his start Tuesday against the Dodgers, needing 92 pitches to get through 4.2 innings, surrendering six runs, and taking the loss. Beyond reinforcing that the Dodgers lineup is a beast—they lead the National League in runs, slugging, and...
Nostalgia Reaches Its Nadir
Oh, come on. Selective memory is a hell of a thing....
The Mighty Josh Bell Just Keeps Smashing Monster Dingers
A loyal reader reached out this morning with a fantastic question:...
Rockies Strike Out 24 Times, Still Manage To Beat Red Sox
Tuesday night the Colorado Rockies became the third team since 1908 to strike out at least 24 times in a major league game and also win. They did it by beating the Boston Red Sox in extra innings, 5–4, on a game-winning RBI single from Mark Reynolds, who knows a thing or two about striking out a lot...