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Hugo Chavez's Opposition In Venezuela Lampoons Him As An Egomaniacal Pitcher
In case you haven't been paying close attention to your South American politics for the past 14 years, you might be surprised to find that Hugo Chavez, Venezuela's cult-of-personality president, is facing a stiff re-election challenge on Oct. 7. Basically Chavez has presided over a widespread melt...

When Good Statistics Go Bad: The Case Against The Case Against R.A. Dickey
R.A. Dickey, objectively speaking, is the greatest human being in history. His knuckleball destroys cities and he climbed a huge fucking mountain. But should he win the Cy Young Award?...

Seven Years After Getting Concussed By The First Pitch He Saw, Adam Greenberg Gets A Second Chance
Adam Greenberg's career slash line is .000/1.000/.000. On July 9, 2005, Greenberg made his debut with the Chicago Cubs when he entered a game against the Marlins as a pinch-hitter in the ninth inning. His major league debut ended abruptly, though, when Valerio de los Santos's first pitch, a 92-mph f...

The Time Tampa Bay's Rookies Put On Wigs, Dressed In Bikinis, And Danced In Front Of The Green Monster
Oh, to be a Major League Baseball rookie. Tampa Bay Rays ace David Price recorded this video yesterday, and while some teams will make their newbies carry children's luggage or dress funny to and from the stadium, that won't fly for Tampa Bay. You've got to get in bikinis and dance around in front...

Eric Gagne Estimates 80 Percent Of His Dodger Teammates Were Taking PEDs
"I knew I had the mental attitude to be a closer, it was just a matter of doing it in the major leagues." That was Eric Gagne after he won the 2003 Cy Young Award, following a perfect season in which he converted all 55 save opportunities and struck out 100 more batters (137) than hits allowed (37)....

Science! Proves That Hawk Harrelson Is More Biased Than Every Other AL Broadcaster Combined
Today is probably a good day for the other sports to drop bad news. Maybe announce some NCAA sanctions, or failed steroid tests. Everything non-scabby is completely under the radar, so it would have been lucky timing for the White Sox broadcasting team to be selected as far and away the biggest home...

Remember When A Shirtless Jose Canseco Really <i>Meant</i> Something?
The year was 1990 and the times were simple. Boston was still pink hat-less. Barry Bonds was a skinny Pirate. Billy Beane was one year removed from a 54 OPS+ season, his final one. And Jose Canseco appeared on various baseball cards in blue jeans—no shirt. The image was used for several cards, but n...

Ballhawk Zack Hample Was Kicked Out Of Nationals Park Last Night, And He Is Pissed About It
We've met Zack Hample before, and we haven't exactly been kind to him. That's because Hample is a ballhawk—a member of that fraternity of obsessive dudes who hang around ballparks and trample babies whenever Omar Infante flips a baseball into the stands. Nevertheless, Zack reached out to us this mo...

Who Is The Blurry Guy In This Photo, And Why Did Manny Ramirez Steal His Pants? The Long Baseball Life Of "The Machete"
After Roger Clemens's first start in the Atlantic League, the Associated Press sent across the wires a photo of him in the middle of his lumpy follow-through, pitching to an out-of-focus batter at the plate. The Hall of Famer, of course, had dropped in to pitch for the Sugar Land Skeeters; his oppon...
![Yunel Escobar's Eyeblack Reads "You Are A Faggot" In Spanish [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17zfg1rffid3ajpg.jpg)
Yunel Escobar's Eyeblack Reads "You Are A Faggot" In Spanish [UPDATE]
The image above comes from Saturday's Blue Jays game, and it shows shortstop Yunel Escobar with the Spanish phrase "Tu Ere Maricon" written on his eyeblack. That translates into English as, "You Are A Faggot." We've tried to come up with a plausible explanation for this. The best we've got is that ...

Is It Poor Form To Literally Rip A Home Run Ball Out Of Another Fan's Hand?
This is from Anthony Rizzo's first of two home runs yesterday (the Pirates' collapse continues apace). I want to draw your attention not to the play, but to the two gentlemen in center, struggling over that all-important baseball. Who has the moral high ground, and the right to the ball?...

The Astros Are Selling Tickets To A Lunch With Joe Niekro, Who Has Been Dead Since 2006
Above, the Astros's official Facebook page, on which they are currently advertising next weekend's Legends Weekend. The deal?...

Maybe The Dodgers' Woes Can Be Linked To The Fact They're Practicing Without A Baseball
The Los Angeles Dodgers have a little bit of a problem scoring runs. They're 26th among all MLB teams, and it's became notable news when they can accomplish something as trite as scoring twice in a single inning. ("A really strange thing," as the Los Angeles Times called it.) So it seems weird tha...

Drunk 9/11 Hippie Girl Speaks Out: "I Wanted To Make A Tribute"
On Tuesday, we brought you the tale of a Phillies superfan that one tipster dubbed "Drunk 9/11 Hippie Girl," a moniker based on (a) her presumed level of intoxication, (b) her unwavering patriotism, and (c) her obvious predilection for wearing headbands and bracelets and expressive body paint. After...

Ozzie Guillen Went On A Truly Fantastic Twitter Rant In Which He Compared Derek Jeter And Alex Cintron
Ozzie Guillen is back on Twitter, after three-and-a-half month sabbatical. Today he shared with the world his thoughts on Derek Jeter, Alex Cintron, football, and bullfighting, all in typical Ozzie fashion:...

What If Baseball's Foul Lines Ran On Forever?
In W.P. Kinsella's novel, The Iowa Baseball Confederacy, the narrator's father muses upon a loophole in the rulebook. There's nothing that specifically states the foul lines end at the fence....

Just How Tight Is The AL Playoff Race?
With three weeks to go in the season, over half of baseball is still in the race. Seventeen teams are within five games of a playoff spot. You might think that's mostly due to the new second wild card, and that's the case in the NL. With all three division leaders comfortable and the Braves safe at...

Cody Ross Went Completely Apoplectic Over A Called Third Strike
I really don't think there's any universe where a baseball player would actually swing and strike an umpire upside the head with a baseball bat. (Delmon Young, by far, has come the closest.) However, when you're reacting in anger to a called third strike and you're still holding a bat in your hands,...

You Can Actually Pinpoint The Second When Dustin Pedroia Learns His Wife Is In Labor
Dustin Pedroia missed the 2009 All-Star Game to be with his wife, who was about to give birth to their first child. Tonight, Bobby Valentine had to abruptly pull Pedroia from the game, telling him mid-inning that Kelli had gone into labor and that he had to vamoose immediately. Alas, shortly thereaf...

David Cone Made A Funny As John Sterling Cowered In Fear From A Foul Ball
David Cone, sitting just one booth over from John Sterling, showed off his sense of humor when a foul ball came screaming toward their respective position during tonight's Yankees-Red Sox game. We've seen the Sterling Shake before, so we know John has a certain agility when it comes to maneuvering w...