baseball Page 359 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

And On The Fourth Day, Bryce Harper Homered
Here's the Chosen One, taking some weak Arizona Western stuff deep in his fourth game as a collegian. Watch closely and you might see the ball transmute into pure light somewhere over Lake Mead. [YouTube, Las Vegas Review-Journal]...

The Holy Child Will Have To Wait A Little Longer To Begin Speaking Only In Cliches
Brilliant beacon of blinding light Bryce Harper picked up his first collegiate hit in only his second at-bat. Too bad no-one is allowed to discuss it! I haven't seen lips this tight since, like, an hour ago. [The Nationals Enquirer]...

Robbie Alomar's Canadian Consolation
Forget Cooperstown; Alomar's heading to the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame! To give you a sense of its prestige, his co-inductee will be Paul Quantrill. [Globe And Mail]...

Who Dat? Ain't The Saints
The independent league St. Paul Saints will change their name to simply "The Paul" until after Sunday's NFC Championship. The Minnesota legislature is also in the process of de-canonizing Saint Brett. [Via Speedy McWeed]...

If This Man Texts You, Do Not Answer
A high school baseball coach is on trial for inappropriate conduct with his players, but this one's different than the usual coach-student sex scandals....

Jose Offerman Lives The Dream, Punches Ump
We here at Deadspin prefer it when athletes commit their assaults on the playing field. It means we get to see it all on video....

Lovelorn Baseball Player Turns To Dear Abby
Unlucky in sport and in love, one lifelong minor leaguer went to the famous advice columnist for help. While she tries her best, I'm sure we can do better....

Selig Wants To Outsource Championships Now
A "global World Series," besides being redundant, is Bud Selig's latest bright idea to grow the game worldwide. It will also make us look bad....

Rocket's Red Glare Too Much For Blue Jay
NBA players pull guns on each other in the locker room. MLB players shoot themselves in the face with fireworks. And we wonder why kids don't dream of being baseball players anymore....

OK, Don't Blame Drew: ASU Coach Pat Murphy Was Forced Out Amid NCAA Allegations
The NCAA is accusing Arizona State's baseball program of nine violations, including the dreaded "lack of institutional control." Let's hope the NCAA's source is better than ours. [Arizona Republic, also]...

ASU Baseball About To Set A Dubious Record
With the pending investigation of "major infractions," Arizona State could become the all-time leader in NCAA violations. Purists demand a playoff, so that FSU can have its shot. [Arizona Republic]...

And You Thought VORP Was Confusing
Someone much smarter than me uses something called Bayesian inference to argue that umpires ought to give a wider strike zone to pitchers with reputations. Any nerd commenters want to explain this to the rest of us? [Baseball Analysts]...

Thu-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh Yankees Lose (Some Operating Expenses)
The Yankees are looking to cut some $15 million from their 2009 Opening Day payroll of $201 million. Wait, so this means they'll only be able to afford John Lackey or Matt Holliday? Not both? The recession's hitting everybody. [MLB.com]...

Deadspin Films Presents: "High And Outside: The Dock Ellis Story"
Sporting apparel/culture site No Mas recently released the animated story of Dock Ellis, who threw a no-hitter on acid—fucking ACID—and died last December. Time for his biopic, yeah? Let's cast and storyboard this thing. To Hollywood we go!...

Blame Drew: ASU Baseball Coach Pat Murphy Resigns
Pat Murphy announced his resignation today, thus freeing up some time to roam the earth, seek out Drew and beat him like a redheaded stepchild, if he were the sort of man to do such a thing. [ASU Sun Devils]...

Watch This, Then Go Check Your Water Supply For Drugs
No words...They should have sent a poet....

Jenn Sterger's Post-Op Recovery Documented Via Twitter
Will Carroll, America's most prominent Injury Expert, became her Nightingale last weekend after her surgery. Not a euphemism. [InjuryExpert]...

The Beginning Of The End For Aluminum Bats?
In 2003, an 18-year-old pitcher died during an American Legion game after being struck by a ball up the middle. Today we can say that legally, it was Louisville Slugger's fault....

Smarty Pants Web Mag Goes A Little Laddy With "Baseball's Sexiest Teammates"
Here's a gallery-friendly rundown of baseball's best WAGs by position. For example: your pitching staff for this squad would trot out Ann Margret, Alyssa Milano, and Mamie Van Doren. [Daily Beast]...

A Flying Squirrel Mascot Is Not Totally Nuts
The winning entry in the "name Richmond, Virginia's new minor league baseball team" contest is: The Flying Squirrels. I can't wait for their giant foam mascot to scare the crap out of little children. [WTVR/Times-Dispatch]...