baseball Page 440 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Marcus Giles Already Tearing Up San Diego
Marcus Giles has been a member of the San Diego Padres for less than a month; they just got the guy, for crying out loud. You thought it was a nice story, two brothers reunited — and it feels so gooood — but it turns out that it was a recipe for violence!...

Man, We Totally Forgot They Were Razing Yankee Stadium
Buster Olney — whom, though we occasionally make fun of him, does pretty solid work over there — reported this morning that Yankee Stadium will host the All-Star Game in 2008, the final year before the historic-mostly-as-a-70s-relic stadium shuffles off this architectural coil. (Incidentally, our ou...

Student Reporter Gets First Boring McGwire Quotes
So everybody wants to hear from Mark McGwire, the slugger-in-exile. What does he think about the Hall of Fame voting? Did he ever do steroids? What was the deal with appearing on "Mad About You?" No one has been able to get him to come out of hiding ... except for abused children, anyway. McGwire sh...

Sammy Sosa Is Too Fat For Japan
Wednesday, we told you about how a Japanese team was close to signing Sammy Sosa, forcing him to pretend not to be able to speak Japanese. Well, it turns out that the Japanese have had a change of heart, thanks mostly to trans fatty acids....

Your 2007 Los Angeles Dodgers: Taste The Excitement
The Dodgers on Thursday threw up a smoke screen to hide a rise in ticket prices, and it's a pretty effective one. A ticket in the right-field bleachers has gone up four bucks, to $10, but with that you get all the Dodger Dogs you can eat. Eric Gagne for an endless supply of weiners? Sounds fair to u...

Barry Bonds Unlikely To Stay "Pals" With Mark Sweeney Much Longer
Barry Bonds has been dodging, ducking and weaving the Inspector Javerts of Major League Baseball and the U.S. government for so long that it's almost second nature to him; he has moves that would make LaDainian Tomlinson envious. According to this morning's New York Daily News — which remains three ...

Sammy Sosa-San Could Rack Up The Yen
While his old "pal" Mark McGwire is battered about on every cable channel, Sammy Sosa continues to cast about to find somewhere to peddle his wares. With the major leagues, uh, unlikely, it is only natural that he would look eastbound. And he might have found himself a winner....

Welcome To The Hall, Cal And Tubby; We're Not Here To Talk About Your Past, Mac
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch appears to have jumped the gun on Hall of Fame voting results — and they don't have final totals — but it looks like there's no surprise: Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken are in ... and, obviously, Mark McGwire is out. (And likely not close.) Actual announcement in about five mi...

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out
Good news! The new Jesus sports statues are in, still piping hot from the kiln and ready for shipping over at Catholic Shopper.com. But unlike in previous versions in which He was smack dab in the action, Our Lord and Savior seems content to kibitz from the sidelines this time, refusing to get direc...

We Still Never Like Calling Him The Big Unit
With the apparent trade of Randy Johnson yesterday back to the Diamondbacks, it becomes clear that something terrifying and disconcerting is happening: The Yankees are continuing to make prudent, measured moves with an eye on the long term. We're through the looking glass, people....

The 1998 Baseballs Are Not Here to Talk About the Past
Here's a story that may not have any credibility whatsoever, depending upon your knowledge of the porny sounding " larger rubberized core "and "synthetic rubber rings", allegedly found in baseballs during the 1998 season and, specifically, in Mark McGwire's magical 70th homerun ball....

Breaking News! Baseball Player Signs Ridiculous Contract!
I'm so excited to tell you this I might as well just copy and paste the fucker:...

Curse Of The 1980s Giants Infield Continues
We are saddened this morning by reports of the death of former San Francisco Giants third baseman Chris Brown. We don't know what's going on with Giants infielders from the 1980s (Jose Uribe died in a car crash on Dec. 8), but Matt Williams, watch your back. Brown, who was Darryl Strawberry's teamma...

Rollie Fingers' Nondescript Van
Far be it from us to cast aspersions on Hall of Fame relief pitchers who could offer mustache rides to an entire cricket team, but we find this Craig's List ad apparently posted by Rollie Fingers for a commercial he's filming....

Five Hours Ago, Dontrelle REALLY Had To Pee
That marriage ... (sips imaginary glass of bourbon) ... it's a tough racket. Just two weeks after getting married, Marlins pitcher (and awfully likable fellow) Dontrelle Willis has already discovered something about the institution: It'll drive you to drink. At 4 a.m. this morning in South Beach, Wi...

This Guy Is Very Excited About Ken Williams' Offseason Moves
It's a Christmas Miracle! Ladies and gentlemen, we present you with the spiritual brother of our friend Mike Cooper ... meet Ryan Drop....

Those 1987 Mets Were True Method Actors
On the list of lazy pre-Christmas time videos to whittle away the remaining office hours with, this one might be the most cringe-inducing. It's part 1 of a half-hour "musical adventure" — here's Part Two and Part Three — involving the 1987 Mets, some extremely annoying children and a "nerd" who illu...

Meet The Ms. Dice-K
As we begin to learn a bit more about Daisuke Matsuzaka, the newest sliver of heroin to the junkies of Red Sox Nation, we, as we all tend to do, take a look at his homelife. Specifically, his wife, Tomoyo Shibata, who, according to the outstanding research of UmpBump, has caused a stir in Japan for ...

Darryl Strawberry's Advice For The Lovelorn
All right, all right, break it up! Stop it! Now can't you two see that you're still in love with each other? You've been searching all over for happiness when all the time it was right here in your own backyard. Now give each other a hug. Come on!...
