basketball Page 491 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stanford Guard Dismissed From Team After Golf Cart DUI
Fifth-year senior JJ Hones was arrested last week for "driving under the influence, reckless driving, evading a police officer and resisting arrest." Not bad considering her vehicle runs on batteries and easily tips over on fairways. [Fanhouse]...

Sixteen-Year-Old High School Basketball Star Is Actually 22-Year-Old Liar
Jerry Joseph was simply living the American dream—lying about his age so that he could go back to high school and relive his glory days as the big man on campus. Didn't Bob Dylan sing about this?...

Washed-Up Coach Reduced To Shamelessly Peddling Crap On Twitter
Judging by his Twitter account, Florida Atlantic's Mike Jarvis is now a celebrity spokesman for something called the EnergyCare Dream Pillow, which apparently worked so well for Jarvis that he slept through an entire basketball season. [@coachmikejarvis]...

Dave Bliss, Terrible Human Being Of Note, Now Shaping The Minds Of Tomorrow
Congratulations to Dave Bliss, the former Baylor coach, who, despite having presided over one of college sports' ugliest episodes, and despite having enlisted his team in an effort to smear a player, Patrick Dennehy, who had just been murdered by a teammate......

Dwight Howard Copies That One Thing That LeBron Copied
Dwight Howard, the clown prince of the NBA, imitated LeBron James' sorta-not-really-his chalk toss before Game 2 against the Hawks. Dwight should go for broke next time; do MJ's tongue waggle while coming out of an Eagle County courthouse. [The Hoops Doctors]...

Basketball Playing Dogs A Metaphor For Disorganized AND1-Style Of Play
The Baseline's Eric Freeman thinks these pooches are reenacting the Jazz-Lakers series. Though if Scout, the puppy, does represent the Jazz, there won't be a Game 5. [The Baseline]...

Incredible Euroleague Buzzer-Beater Runs The Gamut Of Human Emotions
Let's set the scene: Cibona-Partizan. NLB League Final in Zagreb. With 0.6 seconds left, Cibona hits a miracle three to take the lead. Cibona celebrates. This one's in the bag....

Footage Of Maryland Student's Beating Goes Missing, Re-Appears Minus Some "Editing"
A disc of security camera video that might show police officers assaulting a Maryland student during the post-Duke game bliss mysteriously went missing, then re-appeared hours later....with a two-minute gap in the footage. Wait! That's not the shadiest part, yet!...

Tasteful Israel Cheerleaders Won't Be Grinding On Anything
In the Israeli basketball league, cheerleaders are basically mandatory, so the more Orthodox teams put up with them even though fans would prefer that no one shake and/or display any "lady lumps." So they're expected to just....cheer? That's sick. [France24]...

An American Player Lands A Haymaker, And Chinese Basketball Has Its Kermit Washington Moment
In Game 2 of the CBA finals Sunday night, Xinjiang Flying Tiger Charles Gaines, of Southern Mississippi decked Guangdong's Du Feng in apparent retaliation for a headbutt. The freakout has already begun, if Google translation is to be believed....

Ex-Florida Gator Would Like You To Know How Easy It Is For Athletes To Get Laid
Hoopster Ray Shipman is transferring from Florida after just two years on campus, but before he goes, he has a message for his fellow students: Owning a letterman's jacket is basically a license to tap ass....

David Brooks Provides Us With Yet Another Reason To Hate Duke (And David Brooks)
I'm sorry, somehow we missed this bit of intellection from the Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, David Brooks: "How do you construct a rich versus poor narrative when the rich are more industrious?" he mused last week ... about Butler-Duke....

Video Catches Cops Brutally Beating Maryland Student After Duke Game
After a Maryland student was seriously injured during the melee that followed the Terps big win over Duke last month, cops claimed he had attacked mounted policemen and was kicked by their horses. This videotape says they're dirty liars....

Add Providence To The Institutional Control Watchlist
Two Friars players were arrested early today for assaulting a fellow student. Why? Oh, the usual reasons. They were looking for someone to beat up, and he was the first person they came across....

DePaul Wraps Up Its Coaching Search From Hell By Pissing Off The Wrong People
Following a blunder- and rejection-filled search, DePaul finally decided on Clemson's Oliver Purnell. Sounds like a good hire: basement-dwelling big-conference team nabs someone who marginally improved another basement-dwelling big-conference team. So why are Chicago hoops figures apoplectic?...

Rutgers Basketball Coach Fired For Heckling Baseball Players?
Word out of New Jersey is that Rutgers basketball coach Fred Hill is about to be fired—not for being a terrible coach, but for yelling at the opposing team at a Rutgers baseball game....

Jon Scheyer's Prank Was Pretty Darn Funny
Damn it. I hate when this happens. A guy you don't want to likes goes and pulls off a prank that can only be described as excellent. Goddamnit....

The Biggest Supporters Around
To conclude one of the boobsiest days in Deadspin history, here's this picture of some strategically placed fans/cameramen at last night's Thunder-Jazz and Penguins-Capitals trackmeets. Mutton wins again. H/t Eric and Patrick....

Villanova, Syracuse, And The Case Of The Impregnated Girlfriends (UPDATE)
Since Villanova was unceremoniously bounced from the NCAA tournament on March 21 by St. Mary's, many emails have been fired off by frustrated alumni explaining how this happened to their precious team. The reason? Corey Fisher impregnated Scottie Reynolds's girlfriend, of course....

Shall I Compare Thee To A Tetherball? Analogizing Baylor's Brittney Griner
Brittney Griner is a 6-foot-8 women's basketball player at Baylor who dunks in games. How to describe her? With analogy!...