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Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

It Appears North Carolina Has Published Julius Peppers's Transcript For Some Reason
Little over a year ago the University of North Carolina threw one of its own on the altar of the NCAA, firing head football coach Butch Davis after the school was penalized for, among other things, improper benefits and academic violations. Having dispensed with Davis, the school sought to turn the...

Anthony "Spice" Adams On His First Love, Basketball: "Yeah I Can Fly, For A Little While"
Anthony Adams continues his endearing quest to catch on with a pro football team. Or, at the very least to gain notoriety as a total goofball who makes fun videos. It looks like now he may try his hand at basketball "since there's an opening in Orlando." Or, maybe he'll make it in his first first ...

Norwegian Bears Broke Into A Cabin And Drank 100 Cans Of Beer
Bears. They're terrifying, but they're just like us! Especially the Norwegian ones:...

Jay Cutler Spawned
Jay Cutler and that one lady from that one reality show welcomed their first child into the world this morning. As reported by the one lady's Twitter account, Camden Jack Cutler entered the world as a healthy, seven-pound, nine-ounce baby boy. We assume that Bears fans are already complaining about ...

Won't Some NFL Team Please Give Anthony "Spice" Adams A Job?
Anthony Adams spent five years as a DT in Chicago, and four years in San Francisco before that. He's 32 now, toward the end of a lineman's effective lifespan, and was released by the Bears in February. He's spent the offseason trying to catch on elsewhere, so far unsuccessfully, but he's managed t...

Bears CB D.J. Moore Needed A TV At Training Camp, So He Had Some Fan On Twitter Bring Him One
No, really. That's exactly what happened. Here's how the entire saga played out for all to see:...

Joe Paterno's Alma Mater Is Beginning To Whitewash His Name
The purging of Joe Paterno's name in the wake of the Freeh Report is now going beyond Penn State. Brown University, where Paterno played quarterback and cornerback from 1946-49 before graduating in 1950, has removed his name from the title of its head football coaching position and from the name of ...

Jay Cutler: I AM SO JACKED UP FOR "TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME"
Relax, Jay. Relax. It's only July and the Cubs stink anyway. We appreciate the enthusiasm, though. ...

Ukraine Solves Its Alcoholic Bear Problem Just In Time For Euro 2012 (Also, Ukraine Had A Problem With Alcoholic Bears)
Some of you may not know this, but Ukraine has a bit of a problem with drunk bears. They call them "vodka bears" because they were given vodka and forced to dance as a means of entertainment at local hotels and restaurants. Last August, efforts were made to stop the practice, but now I guess they h...

Charles "Peanut" Tillman Scornfully Responds To Local Teacher's Anti-Bears Math Homework
The Bears' Pro Bowl corner Charles Tillman was promoting his Cornerstone Foundation in a suburban Chicago runner's shop, when he was approached by a teenaged girl. She was the daughter of the store's owner, and she was just killing time doing her math homework, when she came across a problem she tho...

Jay Cutler Says Modern Football Has Left Mike Martz Behind
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Bears' old OC was stuck in 1999....

Jason Babin Is Spending His Offseason Messing With Giant, Angry Mammals
Pro Bowl lineman Jason Babin missed the start of Eagles OTAs because he was stuck in Alaska, shooting at bears and just being a man. He was somewhere in the Frozen North hunting brown bear when a storm rolled in, making it impossible to fly back to Pennsylvania on time....

Jay Cutler And His Little Dog Have A Message For Everybody Out There
Hey! It's Jay Cutler walking his dog! Hi, Jay!...

Tonight's Weather Forecast Will Not Be Seen Because Our Set Has Been Invaded By Bears
Havoc reigned in Scranton tonight when WNEP-TV's 11 p.m. newscast was interrupted by bears. Black bears, specifically, at least four of which decided to invade the outdoor set from which meteorologist Kurt Aaron was preparing to deliver his weather report. Aaron was, understandably, concerned for ...

Bristolmetrics: Brittney Griner Got More Mentions On <em>SportsCenter</em> Than Any Kentucky Wildcat
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Baylor Hoops Teams Were Really Big On The Illegal Text Messages
Stop me if you've heard this before, but a school that quickly rose to athletic prominence is now facing punishment for a myriad of recruiting violations. This time it's the Bears of Baylor, who were found by an NCAA probe to have racked up nearly 2,000 impermissible phone calls and text messages to...

Robert Griffin III Celebrates His Last Winning Moment In A Long Time
We're not really sure why RGIII got to climb the ladder to cut the nets after Baylor's women's basketball team beat Notre Dame in last night's NCAA title game. Must have been the important role he played in the Lady Bears' victory....

Baylor Assistant Damion McKinney Wore A Tablecloth As A Necktie To The National Championship
I believe that's Baylor women's assistant coach Damion McKinney as spotted before last night's 80-61 victory that capped off a 40-0 season for the lady Bears. I have no idea what he is wearing as a necktie. Did he eat at Red Lobster and forget to remove his bib? Was he arguing before the United Sta...

Here's The Dancing Baylor Fan Heard ’Round The World
We tweeted him out earlier in GIF form, but this Baylor fan enthusiastic that his team was within 13 (!) of Kentucky deserves the full Deadspin Video treatment—so here you are. [CBS]...