bears Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lions And Zebras And Bears—Oh Crap
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Shittiest Seven Minutes Of The NFL Season, Condensed To One Shitty Minute
This is the Bears' second drive of the game, reduced to just the play stoppages. The drive lasted seven minutes and featured seven penalty calls in all and ended with Matt Forte getting stuffed on a fourth-and-1 at Detroit's 26. It was horrible. Relive it here....

Semi-Sentient Mammals Of The NFC North: Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
Cutler! Stafford! Suh! Urlacher! And a cast of 102 other players, many of them memorable in their own right. It's Bears/Lions on ESPN, with Detroit trying to keep pace with Green Bay, and Chicago merely trying to stay above water....

"I Ain't No Damned Monkey On A String": The Sadness Of Sweetness After Super Bowl XX
Today the 1985 Chicago Bears were finally honored at the White House—25 years after their 46-10 romp over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XX. (The original trip was canceled because of the Challenger explosion.) That Super Bowl was memorable for many reasons—the headbands of Jim McMahon, the ...

Missouri State Ice Bears Top Boise State With Pink Ice For Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Division III Club ice hockey has never been so sultry. Maybe Sean Avery will play there?...

25 Years And Four Presidents Later, The 1985 Bears Will Finally Visit The White House
The '85 Chicago Bears are one of the most iconic championship teams in NFL history. Payton. The Fridge. Ditka. McMahon. Buddy Ryan and his 46 defense. That rap song. A 15-1 record in a season that ended with playoff shutouts of the Giants and Rams followed by a 46-10 drubbing of the Patriots in Sup...

Texas A&M Fans Provoke Baylor With Waco Billboard: "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Conference Deal"
Just when we think we've gone and boiled Texas football down to its essence, the Texans go and out-Texan themselves....

Cal Coaches Use Foolproof Technique To Connect With Their Team: White Person R&B
Oh god. I can't. This is almost too painful. Cal women's basketball held a team retreat last week, apparently in my grandfather's finished basement. Assistant coach Daron Park, with the rest of the coaching staff on backup, entertained the players with an altered Montell Jordan routine that really...

Baylor Is The Big Swinging Bear Dick Of Texas Football
Has there been a more triumphant, petty, relevant week for Baylor football? It merely started with their upset of TCU, and has continued with the Bears positioning themselves as a lone bulwark against the partitioning of college football into superconferences....

BEARS!!! At The Rangers Game, Yo
Your morning roundup for Aug. 31, the day we spent way too much time reading about the Yarn Harlot's visit to this year's Sock Summit. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. [Photo: MOCKSESSION, obvs.]...

Bears To Chester Taylor: You're Released ... Sike!
"Taylor's agent Ken Sarnoff tweeted this morning that Lovie Smith told Taylor he was gone. But early this afternoon, Sarnoff tweeted: 'Here's a first for me - the Bears just called me and said they have NOT released Chester. He did talk with Lovie though...misunderstanding?'" [Chicago Sun-Times]...

The Bears Have Already Discovered The Truth About Vernon Gholston
After signing with the Chicago Bears, Vernon Gholston let it be known that he's "self-motivated," telling the Chicago Tribune that "(being a bust) is the natural assumption about me." That was four weeks ago, and it's clearly no less true today....

The Newark Bears Will Celebrate Jim Leyritz Night With A $2,000 M.A.D.D. Donation And A Beer Pong Tournament
Even without mixed drinks, it sends mixed signals. A year ago, Leyritz was found innocent of felony manslaughter, but guilty of DUI in a 2007 crash....

Just Like Magic, Two Middling Bears Running Backs Can Fuse Together To Form One Middling Bears Running Back
Spotted, last night at Soldier Field, a couple whose love is built on a foundation of middling former Bears running backs....

Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Returning The Wedding Gifts You Sent Them, With Dainty Notes In Some Cases
Previously, we brought you the story of some Deadspin readers who bought gifts for Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari off their wedding registry. Then we told you that the Bears QB dumped Cavallari. Here comes the fallout, courtesy of Crate & Barrel....

Some People Don't See The Humor In Bears Drinking Vodka For Human Entertainment
Per Reuters Life!, Ukraine's Environment Minister Mykola Zlochevsky told Interfax, "On television, they keep showing bears suffering in restaurants and roadside hotels. How long can we tolerate animal torture in restaurants where drunken guests make bears drink vodka for laughs?"...

Kelly Leak: The Coolest Kid Who Ever Lived
The following is excerpted from Josh Wilker's book about The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training, written for Soft Skull Press's Deep Focus series....

Presenting The Ex-Future Mrs. Jay Cutler
As opposed to the future ex-Mrs. Cutler, who is whichever C-lister the Bears QB will glom on to next in his never-ending quest to be a star (just playing football's not cutting it)....

Damn It, You Guys, Jay Cutler Dumped His Fiancée
Look at your hands, Deadspin. See that red stuff? It's blood....

If You're An NFL QB, And You Post Your Wedding Registry Online, A Deadspin Reader Might Send You Shot Glasses
What magic this Internet has given us. Among this magic: online wedding registries for NFL quarterbacks, including Jeff Garcia, Alex Smith, and Tony Romo. Because it just has to mean something that Romo needs a cupcake carrier for his new, committed life....