bears Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Teams Should Probably Stop Punting To Devin Hester
The Detroit Lions brought in a new punter this week and apparently no one gave him the memo that Devin Hester is really good at returning punts. Robert Malone made the mistake of kicking it in Hester's vicinity and, well, you can see what happens from there....

Jay Cutler's On-And-Off Ladyfriend, Kristin Cavallari, Says He Has The Best Butt In Football
@KristinCav wishes @JayCutler6, and his butt, luck tonight against Juan Castillo and his occasionally ferocious wide nine defense: "To the man with the best butt in football, good luck tonight @jaycutler6 ill be watching." Suave Cutler replies, "thanks babe."...

Remembering The Best Punt Return That Never Officially Happened
Bears wide receiver/returner Devin Hester—as Drew explained Monday—is the human highlight reel that opponents have to kick to. He gave us a splendid return on Sunday night. But perhaps his best play of the season came on a play when he never touched the ball, on a play that never happened, as far ...

Devin Hester Was "Basically Attacked" With A Sucker Slap At A Casino Last Week
You know who would probably be a bad person to slap in the back of the head in public? An NFL player. Specifically, an NFL player who is considered one of the fastest men in the sport and who can probably chase you down even if you're speeding away in a Rascal....

Jay Cutler Has A Message For Mike Martz: "Fuck Him!"
The Bears' quarterback apparently wasn't too happy with something involving Martz, the team's offensive coordinator, at some point during last night's game. At least that's what the "Tell Mike..." part of what Cutler can be heard shouting near the end of this clip seems to indicate. I'm presenting...

Tingling Sensations: From The Stands At Ford Field, Watching My Former NFL Teammate Get Knocked Out Of A Game
DETROIT—I'm here to see my friend Tony Scheffler play. He's a tight end for the Lions and my last, best connection to a modern NFL that churns through players too quickly to catch. This is my third season out of the league; sometimes, it feels like no one I played with is still playing. But of the f...

Lions And Zebras And Bears—Oh Crap
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Shittiest Seven Minutes Of The NFL Season, Condensed To One Shitty Minute
This is the Bears' second drive of the game, reduced to just the play stoppages. The drive lasted seven minutes and featured seven penalty calls in all and ended with Matt Forte getting stuffed on a fourth-and-1 at Detroit's 26. It was horrible. Relive it here....

Semi-Sentient Mammals Of The NFC North: Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
Cutler! Stafford! Suh! Urlacher! And a cast of 102 other players, many of them memorable in their own right. It's Bears/Lions on ESPN, with Detroit trying to keep pace with Green Bay, and Chicago merely trying to stay above water....

"I Ain't No Damned Monkey On A String": The Sadness Of Sweetness After Super Bowl XX
Today the 1985 Chicago Bears were finally honored at the White House—25 years after their 46-10 romp over the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XX. (The original trip was canceled because of the Challenger explosion.) That Super Bowl was memorable for many reasons—the headbands of Jim McMahon, the ...

Missouri State Ice Bears Top Boise State With Pink Ice For Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Division III Club ice hockey has never been so sultry. Maybe Sean Avery will play there?...

25 Years And Four Presidents Later, The 1985 Bears Will Finally Visit The White House
The '85 Chicago Bears are one of the most iconic championship teams in NFL history. Payton. The Fridge. Ditka. McMahon. Buddy Ryan and his 46 defense. That rap song. A 15-1 record in a season that ended with playoff shutouts of the Giants and Rams followed by a 46-10 drubbing of the Patriots in Sup...

Texas A&M Fans Provoke Baylor With Waco Billboard: "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Conference Deal"
Just when we think we've gone and boiled Texas football down to its essence, the Texans go and out-Texan themselves....

Cal Coaches Use Foolproof Technique To Connect With Their Team: White Person R&B
Oh god. I can't. This is almost too painful. Cal women's basketball held a team retreat last week, apparently in my grandfather's finished basement. Assistant coach Daron Park, with the rest of the coaching staff on backup, entertained the players with an altered Montell Jordan routine that really...

Baylor Is The Big Swinging Bear Dick Of Texas Football
Has there been a more triumphant, petty, relevant week for Baylor football? It merely started with their upset of TCU, and has continued with the Bears positioning themselves as a lone bulwark against the partitioning of college football into superconferences....

BEARS!!! At The Rangers Game, Yo
Your morning roundup for Aug. 31, the day we spent way too much time reading about the Yarn Harlot's visit to this year's Sock Summit. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. [Photo: MOCKSESSION, obvs.]...

Bears To Chester Taylor: You're Released ... Sike!
"Taylor's agent Ken Sarnoff tweeted this morning that Lovie Smith told Taylor he was gone. But early this afternoon, Sarnoff tweeted: 'Here's a first for me - the Bears just called me and said they have NOT released Chester. He did talk with Lovie though...misunderstanding?'" [Chicago Sun-Times]...

The Bears Have Already Discovered The Truth About Vernon Gholston
After signing with the Chicago Bears, Vernon Gholston let it be known that he's "self-motivated," telling the Chicago Tribune that "(being a bust) is the natural assumption about me." That was four weeks ago, and it's clearly no less true today....

The Newark Bears Will Celebrate Jim Leyritz Night With A $2,000 M.A.D.D. Donation And A Beer Pong Tournament
Even without mixed drinks, it sends mixed signals. A year ago, Leyritz was found innocent of felony manslaughter, but guilty of DUI in a 2007 crash....

Just Like Magic, Two Middling Bears Running Backs Can Fuse Together To Form One Middling Bears Running Back
Spotted, last night at Soldier Field, a couple whose love is built on a foundation of middling former Bears running backs....