bears Page 56 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Like Zombies And Hillary Clinton, Brett Favre Will Not Go Away
It would almost be worth going through a whole new cycle of Brett-Favre-is-unretiring stories to see him in a Chicago Bears uniform in 2009. I said almost. According to Leroy Butler as reported by MSNBC, Favre wants to play this coming season, but not with the Packers. But then, with whom?...
1st Round, Fourteenth Overall: Bears Select Chris Williams
There are worse things to watch than the Bears offense. For example, there's: 1) Put up Your Dukes 2) Your maiden aunt shaving her legs, etc. 3) Fake-reality YouTube videos of a teenage emo-girl whispering her breathy secrets ("my parents hate me") into a webcam 2.3 millimeters away from her chin....
He Just Wanted To Quit Show Business And Follow The Cubs
I n a delayed reaction that I judge to be perfectly normal after having worked on a movie with Woody Harrelson, the bear which was featured in Semi-Pro killed its trainer on Tuesday. It happened in Big Bear Lake, Calif., and was reported to Variety by sheriff's spokeswoman Cindy Beavers. Hey, I'm ju...
Allison Stokke Madness Resurfaces With A Vengeance
Once again, University of California pole vaulter Allison Stokke is being hunted by the wandering trolls of the internet, thanks to the emergence of new photos featuring the athletic teenager wearing her required sporting uniform and holding a giant pole .Her dad, the chronically annoyed and litigio...
NCAA Pants Party: Purdue Vs. Baylor
Purdue Boilermakers (24-8) vs. Baylor Bears (21-10) When: Thursday, 2:30 p.m. Where: Washington, D.C....
Baylor Bears
1. Dave Bliss was a real dick. Much has been made of the job Scott Drew has done to clean up the mess that was left him, but you really can't quite overstate it. To remind you, former Baylor coach Dave Bliss made illegal payments to his players, and, when he was busted, after the death of Patrick De...
California Golden Bears
1. The Bears would dominate the Big East. I no longer live in California, so my chances to watch Pac 10 ball are few. However, living in DC has exposed me to a large number of Big East games, and I have come to the conclusion that the Bears' formula of allowing their opponent to run up a huge lead, ...
For Baylor, The Bubble Is A Really Healthy Place To Be
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming the Floor....
Kyle Orton Is Just Getting Warmed Up
Don't worry, folks: Deadspin Hall of Famer Kyle Orton isn't going anywhere: He'll be back in the Bears uniform next year....
Bear Down, Barack Obama
We'd completely forgotten about this, even though it's from our home state and followed it pretty closely when it was happening, so we have to thank Sports By Brooks for reminding us: Barack Obama, when he ran for U.S. Senate from Illinois in 2004, was this close to running against ... DITKA!...
When The Saints Go Golfing
It's hard to imagine that less than 12 months ago these two teams were meeting for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Seriously, they were. I looked it up! Devin Hester (The Jester Molester) returned a 64 yard punt, Neckbeard Orton threw the ball like he was throwing back girly cocktails, and just ...
Kyle Orton Takes Step Toward REAL Hall Of Fame
There is some sort of perception that, somehow, we're making fun of Bears quarterback Kyle Orton for his induction in our Hall of Fame. Nothing could be further from the truth. We cheer for Orton full-heartedly and with complete sincerity; it's easy to root for a guy who's obviously having that muc...
Bears Upset Packers, Their Quarterback Sort Of Helped
A cursory look at the 1 o'clock games led one to make a face comparable to sniffing a plate of expired deli meat. But sometimes expired meat is salvageable, which led to the creation of the hot dog. Similarly, this bundle of games gave us a couple of surprises....
And Ladies ... He's Single
No real reason for this post, except to point out that this is possibly the most awesome image of Kyle Orton ever captured....
It's Chris Farley Day
Stupid me; I wrote the tag "Todd has another heart attack" for About Last Night without even realizing that today marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Chris Farley. Fortunately, 100 Percent Injury Rate was all over it, putting together a nice tribute post and a bunch of classic Farley clips. ...
Purple Jesus And His Pop Warner Buddies
Far be it from us to impugn the reputation of a team that has won five in a row and looks, on paper, to be one of the hottest teams in the NFL, but ... heavens to Betsy, if that's what a playoff team looks like, sheesh, when's baseball season?...
We Still Have Faith
Don't worry, Kyle: You're always a winner in our book....
It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine!...