Forget the weak beeves you’ve been served in the past, all the gristly cheap stuff, and ready your palate for Grade-A Tennis Beef. Well-bred cows were fed only foraged wild grasses and massaged six to eight times daily to produce beef of this lusciously marbled quality. Appreciate it.

Sample some cheap, greasy tennis beef from today’s Barcelona Open quarterfinal. Down 2-4 in a second-set tiebreak, Grigor Dimitrov delivered a first serve to Pablo Carreño Busta. There was no word from the linespeople or umpire. Nor was there any peep from Carreño Busta; he hit the ball back and walked away in assumed…

Sunday’s game between the Cubs and Rockies was an entertaining one, featuring some stellar defensive plays from Albert Almora, Jr. and a handful of dingers. Also, we have a middle-infielder beef!

I guess I don’t see any particular reason to disbelieve them, but the following postgame quotes, about the shouting match Los Angeles Lakers teammates Isaiah Thomas and Julius Randle had on the sideline during last night’s loss to the Golden State Warriors, are still cracking me up.

Yesterday, New York Daily News reporter Manish Mehta suggested that defensive lineman Muhammad Wilkerson, who was recently cut by the Jets and is currently visiting Green Bay and New Orleans, shouldn’t sign with the Saints because of “issues with alcohol.” This understandably pissed off Wilkerson’s mom.

Who’s hungry for some fuckin’ sports media drama? What if I told you it involved one writer misquoting another and a sassy Bill Simmons tweet? Pull up a chair, friend, and get a plate of this hot beef.

We know now, thanks to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, that Spurs doctors have medically cleared Kawhi Leonard to return from the quad injury that has kept him out all but nine games this season. So the decision to return is all Leonard’s, but head coach Gregg Popovich said yesterday the Spurs don’t expect him to be back…

Yesterday, luger Erin Hamlin was named the U.S. flag bearer for Friday’s opening ceremony. It’s traditionally a big honor, since the flag bearer is chosen by a vote of fellow athletes, and Hamlin is a fine choice: Competing in her fourth Olympics, Hamlin in Sochi took bronze in singles luge, becoming the first…

Before dropping a game to the 76ers last night, the Washington Wizards were on a 5-0 run without star point guard John Wall in the lineup. Now let’s watch as the Wizards manage to turn winning a bunch of games in a row into a bad thing.

I doubt anyone had Sixers-Thunder pegged to become one of the spicier NBA rivalries headed into this season, but here we are, two games into the beef, with Russell Westbrook and Joel Embiid reaching new levels of petty.

Now that the Houston Rockets have Chris Paul leading their offense, they’ve become a much more formidable team. They’ve also taken on the personality of their new superstar, which is to say, despite cementing themselves as the most credible Western Conference threat the Warriors have seen in years (which is to say, a…

Seahawks teammates Bobby Wagner and Earl Thomas caused a bit of a stir after last week’s loss to the Rams, when Thomas told reporters that he thought Wagner was wrong to try and play through injury and Wagner responded with a jab on Twitter.

The Seahawks were liquified by the Rams yesterday, surrendering 42 points and 352 total yards. They had a particularly tough time stopping Todd Gurley, who went for 144 yards and three touchdowns in the first half. The usually solid Seahawks defense was made porous by injuries, and wasn’t helped by star linebacker…

There was a weird moment during last night’s game between the Saints and Falcons, when Saints head coach Sean Payton did some premature gloating. With his team up 17-10 and 12:30 left to play, Payton gave the “Choke!” sign to Falcons running back Devonta Freeman after Freeman had run for no gain near the Saints’…

Last night, LeBron James was ejected from a game for the first time in his 15-year NBA career. James claimed he’d reacted because James Johnson had fouled him “all the way up the court.” Referee Kane Fitzgerald explained he ejected LeBron because of a series of transgressions, including LeBron charging towards him,…

The biggest feud in the NBA, one which both parties would like you to believe is not in fact a feud, finally came to a head tonight. Russ and KD met a few times last season, and did a bit of chirping, but during tonight’s game they finally, truly, got into it.

Jaguars cornerback Jalen Ramsey is only in his second season but is already one of the strongest shit-talkers in the league. So it wasn’t all that surprising when his chattering triggered a full-on meltdown by A.J. Green. Today, Ramsey told reporters what he said to make Green so angry.

Fresh off a year-long weed suspension, Steelers wide receiver Martavis Bryant returned to the team this season only to abruptly request a trade, after his role in the offense diminished with the emergence of rookie WR JuJu Smith-Schuster. Bryant caught a single pass for three yards in yesterday’s 29-14 win over the…

If this sign-stealing scandal is truly going to reignite the rivalry between the Yankees and Red Sox, it needs to hit a few more stages of escalation. Thankfully, the Red Sox have reportedly brought us to Stage Two, by running to the commissioner’s office and yelling, But, but, but! The Yankees are cheaters toooooooo!

Michigan and Florida open their seasons against each other on Saturday. As of today, nobody knows who will be starting at quarterback for either team, and nobody is really quite sure who is even on Michigan’s roster. This is because Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh and Florida head coach Jim McElwain are being petty…