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World Cup 2022 Preview — Group F: Old man take a look at my defense, I’m a lot like you
“BELGIUM’S LAST CHANCE!” You’ve heard or seen this already. They are Europe’s big waste of the last decade. There has been no bigger collection of talent than what Belgium has sported for the last four major tournaments, and a 3rd place in Russia is all they’ve had to show for it. Either this is whe...
Italian Track Cyclist Impaled By Chunk Of Wooden Track Mid-Race Expected To Make Full Recovery
During the scratch race at the Junior and U23 European Track Championships in Ghent on Friday, a group of riders crashed into one another, wreaking havoc not just on the leaderboard, but also on the track itself. The incident lifted a piece of the wooden track off the ground, which found its way int...
Belgium Topple England In Sweet, Satisfying Third-Place Match
Belgium topped England in a loose and entertaining third-place game Saturday, behind a couple terrifying quick-strike counterattack moves, and some delightfully screwy defending from the lads of England....
Belgium Sound Pretty Salty About Losing To France
Losing sucks! Losing the way the Belgians did, after tearing through five straight wins at the World Cup, some against really excellent teams, before getting blanked 1-0 by France in the semis, really sucks. Getting used to winning via pace and pressure and a series of unorthodox tactical decisions ...
France Versus Belgium Could've Been Awesome But It Kind Of Sucked
Among the 22 players on the pitch during today’s World Cup semifinal that pit France against Belgium, there were a solid half dozen capable of explosive, awe-inspiring feats of greatness. Unfortunately, none of them were able to do anything terribly explosive or awe-inspiring, so France’s 1-0 win to...
Belgium And Brazil Just Put On The Best Show Of The World Cup
My god, what did we just watch. The game of the tournament, certainly, and probably one of the best matches in recent World Cup history. All I know for sure is that Belgium beat Brazil today, 2-1, in a quarterfinal that had all the intensity, insanity, momentum-swings, and amazing plays that make fo...
I Am Not Superstitious, But Japan <i>Definitely</i> Lost Because Its Psychic Octopus With A Perfect Record Was Killed, Sold, And Eaten
Belgium’s round-of-16 win over Japan was a shocker, with the Red Devils coming back from an 0-2 second-half hole to win 3-2 on a thrilling counter at the very end of stoppage time. It’s gotta be difficult to swallow for Japan, because that final counter—an absolute thing of beauty—came off a poorly ...
Romelu Lukaku Is A Genius
More than any other soccer skill, positional awareness comes with the widest gulf between how important it is to a team’s success and how readily noticeable it is to the casual fan watching at home. This is partly due to the limitations of broadcast camera angles, and partly due to the fact that sma...
Most Thrilling Half Of The World Cup Ends With Belgium Sticking A Dagger In Japan's Heart
After an uneventful first 45 minutes, Belgium and Japan put together the best half of soccer in what has already been an extremely entertaining World Cup. Belgium generated more dangerous chances and generally looked like the better team throughout the first half, but it was a cagey affair and it se...
England Score Big Win By Losing To Belgium
In today’s crucial group stage match between England and Belgium, the Brits narrowly managed to come out on top by coming out on bottom of a hard-fought 1-0 loss. With this phenomenal loss, England won entry to the much weaker side of the knockout round bracket, and now have a clear lane to the Worl...
Goal; Owned
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Both England And Belgium Have Every Reason To Lose Tomorrow
England and Belgium will meet tomorrow at Kaliningrad Stadium in a match that will decide which team will win Group G. Both teams have scored eight goals and conceded two in a matched pair of blowout wins against Panama and Tunisia. This means that if they draw tomorrow, they will have identical goa...
An Extremely Stupid Tiebreaker Will Be Used If England Draws With Belgium
England pulled level with group rivals Belgium after their lopsided win against Panama this morning, giving each national side six points going into their final group stage game against each other. Not only do Belgium and England have the same amount of points, though, but they also have exactly eig...
Eden Hazard And Romelu Lukaku Have Belgium Cooking With Gas
Goals have been hard to come by for most teams at the World Cup, but not for Belgium. The Red Devils added another blowout win to their tournament resumé today by plastering Tunisia by a score of 5-2. Once again the Belgian goalfest was led by their two star forwards, Eden Hazard and Romelu Lukaku, ...
This Might Be Belgium's Last Chance, So They Better Not Fuck It Up
The word “underachievers” will haunt this Belgium group for the rest of their lives unless they seriously impress at this World Cup. Even just a glance at their roster should strike fear into most opponents’ hearts, but in practice, this dream team has yet to really gel, playing much more like a loo...
Portugal Forward Jéssica Silva Is The Queen Of Filthy Nutmegs
Meet Jéssica Silva, forward for Spanish club Levante and the Portuguese national team. Last week, she made an appearance for Portugal in a Euro 2021 qualifier against Belgium. This gave her an opportunity to do what she does best, which is to absolutely ruin defenders with beautifully disgusting nut...
Belgium Golazo Enters Orbit Before Descending Into The Net
I don’t think Tessa Wullaert was trying to do that....
Sweet Mother Of God, Radja Nainggolan Kicked This Ball So Hard
If you want to see what a perfectly struck shot from distance looks like, Radja Nainggolan’s deep jackhammer goal he just scored for Belgium against Wales is it:...
Gigi Buffon Busts His Ass Celebrating Italy's Win
Careful, old man. Your back at 38 isn’t as resilient as it was at 18. Here’s a couple more angles of Buffon’s fall:...
Marouane Fellaini's Hair Is Real Bad
Regular Fellaini hair: cool. Fellaini hair dunked in a vat of peroxide so that it loses its appealing form and texture and instead resembles an stringy mass of nasty yellow cotton candy: uncool. Stay cool, Fellaini....