bo Page 305 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Is Your Favorite Athlete Not On Your Favorite Team?
Today, we’re talking about getting eaten by a whale, state names as first names, typos, Hitler, butter knives, and more....
The 49ers Had A Great Time Humiliating Baker Mayfield
This has been said many times before, but the Cleveland Browns asked for this. All the hype and shit-talking that followed them throughout the preseason set them up precisely for the kind of embarrassing loss they had last night. Not only did the 49ers beat them 31-3, they took every opportunity to ...
Maybe The 49ers Are Good <i>And </i>The Browns Are Bad
The Cleveland Browns’ dewy preseason vainglory wouldn’t be especially bothersome had it not (a) convinced people that sucking for a long time is shrewd and reasonable; and (b) compelled whoever’s in charge to slot the Browns in four primetime games this season. Monday night, the joke was on them. Th...
Why Melvin Gordon's Holdout Never Stood A Chance
Not all NFL holdouts are created equal. This is especially true for running backs, who have seen their value decline in recent years, even as the salary cap has jumped prodigiously. This summer, a pair of backs began training camp by withholding their labor in attempt to leverage a strong second con...
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Employees Call On Parent Company To Cancel Licensing Deal With Scummy Platform
A group of Sports Illustrated employees, still uncertain what their fates will ultimately be given the sudden scheduling and then cancellation of today’s “transition meetings,” have released a statement calling on their owners to “save Sports Illustrated” by canceling their licensing deal with TheMa...
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Cancels Dreaded "Transition Meetings" 10 Minutes Before They Were Supposed To Start
Staffers at Sports Illustrated lived out an employee’s worst nightmare last night, when they received an email from management instructing them to report to one of two meetings at 12 p.m. today. It was clear that the employees at one of those meetings, perhaps as much as 50 percent of the staff, wer...
Down A Hole: The Missing Scenes Of <i>Donald J. Trump's Fabulous World Of Golf</i>
There are currently two cable news networks devoted to celebrating and defending Donald Trump. Both are widely watched by the most distraught elderly people in the United States, including the president himself, and Trump has made a point of involving various personalities from that network—haunted ...
Boban Marjanovic Enjoys State Fair Of Texas
Very tall man Boban Marjanovic, who signed with the Dallas Mavericks, is back in Texas. He wore an extra cool cowboy outfit to his team’s media day earlier this week, and he attended the State Fair of Texas this past weekend. A tipster sent along photos of Marjanovic playing a carnival game. He’s bo...
Bruce Bochy's Retirement Ceremony Was—Holy Shit, It's Tim Lincecum!
The final game of the San Francisco Giants’ season was the final game of manager Bruce Bochy’s career. The skipper had planned to retire at the conclusion of the 2019 season, so after Sunday’s 9-0 loss to the Dodgers, many of Bochy’s former players showed up at the stadium to send him off, includin...
Come On, The Red Sox Can't Actually Get Rid Of Mookie Betts, Can They?
The 84-78 Boston Red Sox did not provide their fans with a very satisfying season of baseball, but a team experiencing a down year right after winning a championship isn’t unheard of, and this campaign could and probably should have passed without anyone who follows the team slipping into a panic. U...
Orioles Wait Until Game 162 To Do Impressive Thing
Orioles right fielder and history-making relief pitcher Stevie Wilkerson entered a last-minute submission for catch of the year. In the bottom of the eighth, with the Red Sox poised to break a 4-4 deadlock off the bat of Jackie Bradley Jr., Wilkerson decided to give JBJ—who had an incredible homer-r...
Red Sox And Rangers Cast Aside All Dignity In Battle Over Individual Statistical Milestone
Attention, sports purists! This blog contains details of two major league teams turning the late innings of a late-season baseball game into a deeply silly battle-of-wills over one guy’s pursuit of a statistical milestone. If reading about professional baseball players briefly abandoning altogether ...
NFL Rules Are Just Suggestions
Tom Brady was watching Titans-Jaguars Thursday night and, like every other person with functional eyes, did not enjoy the experience. Only he overcame his revulsion and fear of being found out, tweeting about it and saying all the holding penalties were ruining his fun....
Frog-March This Revolting Gymnastics Robot Directly Into The Fires Of Mount Doom
Here is the most disgusting video I’ve watched on the internet in a long time:...
College Football Coaches Love To Get Upset About The Internet
College football coaches, as a general rule, are a weird group of people. The job seems built to attract a specific type of deeply strange person—take the most obsessive and ambitious and aggressive gym teacher possible, then pay him millions of dollars and make him one of the most recognizable and ...
Scott Boras Is Big Mad About Wet Bags
The Cubs were all but eliminated from playoff contention over the weekend, thanks to a four-game home series sweep at the hands of the dreaded Cardinals. To add, uhh, injury to injury, third baseman Kris Bryant nuked his ankle Sunday and stands a good chance of missing all of Chicago’s remaining six...
Mike Gundy Calls Reporter A "Jackass" After Being Asked About T. Boone Pickens Bequeathing Him Money For A Haircut
Man, this is a fantastic comedy of errors for anyone not involved, and it all kicked off because of a poorly written piece of satire about T. Boone Pickens....
Allen Hurns Out With Concussion After Colliding Hard With Jeff Heath
Early in the first quarter of Cowboys-Dolphins, Miami quarterback Josh Rosen tried to find receiver Allen Hurns and threw a pass towards the middle of the field. Also tracking the ball was Dallas safety Jeff Heath, who collided hard with Hurns as he was going for the interception. Since neither play...
Rutgers Center, Not Used To His Team Scoring, Punches Quarterback In Celebration
Early in Saturday’s game against Boston College, Rutgers quarterback Artur Sitowski connected with wide open running back Raheem Blackshear, who took off for a 74-yard touchdown and got the Scarlet Knights tied up 7-7....
John Elway On His Struggling Left Tackle Garett Bolles: "Does He Know What Holding Is?"
The start of this NFL season has been frustrating for the Broncos, who dropped their Monday night opener in Oakland then lost to the Bears because of a soft roughing-the-passer penalty on Bradley Chubb. There are many culprits to blame for the team’s general malaise on offense, and one of them is ...