bo Page 371 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Texas A&M Rolls Out Actual Red Carpet To Welcome Jimbo Fisher
Jimbo Fisher arrived today at College Station, Texas, as the new head football coach at Texas A&M. He was greeted on the tarmac at Easterwood* Airport by a marching band and a literal red carpet, as happens in a sane world with a healthy appreciation for amateur sports:...
Here Is The Exact Moment The Suns Gave Up
The Phoenix Suns were actually up by two on the Celtics in the third quarter in Boston yesterday, but they didn’t show much interest in keeping that lead. With the Suns on defense, some miscommunication led to Marcus Smart having an entire half of the court to himself. Smart couldn’t knock down the ...
Give It Up, Blake Bortles
You’re never going to win one of these:...
Reports: Yankees Will Hire ESPN Analyst Aaron Boone As Manager
The Yankees will hire ESPN analyst and one-time Red Sox destructor Aaron Boone to replace the fired Joe Girardi, according to reports from the New York Daily News and ESPN....
Presenting The Al Pacino Matrix
In a lot of ways, getting old is fine. Your body starts doing a bunch of crazy new gross things, first little by little and then all at once, which is especially fun if you’re a fan of Franz Kafka or David Cronenberg. Old habits downshift into dorkier but less damaging obsessions, and you discover t...
FloSports Has Put Its Ill-Conceived Pro Wrestling Service And Vertical To Sleep
On Wednesday, FloSports, a venture-backed company best known for its streaming services bringing non-televised amateur sports to your TV, unceremoniously ended its year-long experiment with professional wrestling. Dubbed FloSlam—they company has used “FloWrestling” for years for collegiate grappling...
Jimbo Fisher Job Watch: Christmas Tree Trashed
Update (1:25 p.m. ET): Wayne McGahee III, who reported on Jimbo Fisher’s Christmas tree, is now reporting that Fisher has accepted the job at Texas A&M. Wayne knew....
College Football Message Board Owner Turns Out To Be Hateful Moron
Montana Grizzlies football fan Lisa Davey didn’t want the school to bring back Bobby Hauck as head coach. Hauck left for UNLV after the 2009 season, and his last few years with the Grizzlies featured a number of his players and recruits being arrested for various crimes, and his stonewalling of the ...
The NFL’s Quarterback Middle Class Is Dying<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Florida State Fan Pushed Out Of Radio Show For Questioning Jimbo Fisher's Loyalty
Some useful information for anyone interested in joining the live audience of Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher’s weekly radio show: do not ask a straightforward question about his potential future plans, unless you’d like to be (literally, physically) pushed out of the room by a surly attendant in F...
Bret Boone Will Slide Into Your DMs To Mock Sexual Harassment
Three-time all-star second baseman Bret Boone, who last played baseball in 2005, appears to have a lot of time on his hands. He spent today flinging himself into a reporter’s Twitter DMs just to make light of the day’s latest allegations of sexual harassment....
El Ciclón De Guantánamo Blows Away
In January of 2010, Yuriorkis Gamboa blew my mind. I saw him fight live for the first time at the Theater at Madison Square Garden, the small lower arena whose ceiling is crisscrossed with strings of lights like a fishing net. He was matched against Rogers Mtagwa, a Tanzanian with a rugged reputatio...
Baylor, TCU Team Up To Demonstrate Christian Values This Holiday Weekend
The first Thanksgiving in 1621 was held by religious fanatics to properly express gratitude to their God for a bountiful harvest. 396 years later, the holiday is recognized by football teams getting in fights with each other....
It's Conspiracy Theory Time For Cowboys Fans
The best part about a sports team you don’t care about massively underachieving is witnessing the accompanying freakout from people who very much do care about the team. The Cowboys looked pitiful in yesterday’s loss to the Chargers, and now a team that was supposed to be a Super Bowl contender comi...
Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
Boy, things sure are looking up for Jerry Jones! Here he is enjoying a Thanksgiving feast of a 28-6 loss and 434 passing yards allowed. Look upon his soul, or what is left of it:...
A Thanksgiving Tribute To My Chair<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Horse Sues Ray Lewis Over Bourbon Mischief
According to a report from TMZ, Ray Lewis is being sued by a horse....
Fearing NCAA Penalties, Louisville Permanently Benches Brian Bowen
After several weeks of no-comments, deflections, and avowals that they were Focusing On The Upcoming Season, Louisville announced Wednesday that five-star forward Brian Bowen will not be allowed to practice or play for the Cardinals this year. The standout freshman will remain on scholarship, and Lo...
Teenage Giant Bol Bol Commits To Oregon
Because of his beloved famous father, Manute, and his own similarly pronounced height, Bol Bol has been on the national radar since he was a 6-foot-5 middle schooler, casually blocking the shots of normal pubescent boys. Now, the now 7-foot-1 high school senior has chosen to commit to the University...