bo Page 443 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lionel Messi Takes On Giant Inflatable Demon Robot Keeper
A Japanese game show recently tested out the “Why don’t you just play with a huge goalkeeper who can block the whole goal?” theory on Lionel Messi. He showed that, even if you get a nightmarish, house-sized Miitomo-looking demon to guard the goal, he’ll still score on you....
I Will Ride For Gwyneth Paltrow's Cookbook
Most modern cookbooks are too complicated. With the rise of the celebrity chef and the attendant fetishization of foodie culture, everyone gets their own shot at the genre nowadays, and the results are mostly worthless. Inevitably, they attempt to replicate restaurant dishes that necessitate restaur...
ESPN Edited Curt Schilling Out Of An Airing Of The '04 Red Sox <i>30 For 30</i>, And People Are Mad
Four Days in October is an ESPN 30 for 30 series film that first aired in 2010. It aired again yesterday, in slightly edited format, and dopey Red Sox fans teamed up with dopey conservatives to form a coalition of derp in protesting what they believed to be a conspiracy against recently fired analys...
The Cowboys <i>Really</i> Wanted Paxton Lynch
Tony Romo is 36, and increasingly banged up, and it’s time to start thinking about his replacement. It was no surprise that Dallas entered the draft planning to take a successor, but the surprise afterward among the Cowboys’ front office was who they ended up with: Dak Prescott, their third choice a...
In An NFL First, The Vikings Just Drafted A Receiver Straight Out Of Germany
The Vikings are making dreams come true in the sixth round of the draft. This guy Moritz Boehringer, a wideout from Germany’s Schwäbisch Hall Unicorns, was 17 when he found video of Adrian Peterson ripping up YouTube. Instantly the Vikes were his favorite team, and football was his favorite sport. T...
The Boston Celtics Will Soon Be Terrifyingly Good
The Boston Celtics lost to the Atlanta Hawks 104-92 last night, knocking them out of the first round of the playoffs. It’s the last time for the foreseeable future that the Celtics will exit the playoffs so early. ...
This Oral History Of The Doug Mirabelli Trade Is Delightful
Let’s go back to 2006, a simpler time when Trot Nixon and Matt Clement roamed the earth. That winter, the Red Sox had traded away Doug Mirabelli, not known for his offensive prowess so much as he was for being Tim Wakefield’s personal catcher. Not just everyone can successfully catch a knuckleball, ...
Soccer Fans Toss Big-Ass Firecracker At Player, Who Hurls Corner Flag At Them In Return
IFK Göteborg were set to host Malmö for a regularly scheduled, 90-minute Swedish league match yesterday. But towards the end of the game, some fans threw a huge firecracker at Malmö’s Tobias Sana, and Sana returned the favor by firing one of the corner flags javelin-like in the fans’ direction, and ...
The NFL’s Desperation For Quarterbacks Is Destroying Quarterbacks
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Preorder his new book here....
These Are The Worst Celebrity Exercise Videos
We are truly blessed that there was a time period in which many famous celebrities cashed in with poorly executed workout videos. We are even more blessed that World Wide Interweb compiled the worst celebrity workout videos it could find....
Get Your NFL Takes From A Small Child
Today’s Take Your Kid To Work Day, so I had the chance to talk about sports with a special guest named Harry. (Harry is not my kid.) We covered the NFL, Johnny Manziel, CTE, and a little bit of the NBA. Harry has many opinions, and he really likes Phil Simms....
Tom Thibodeau Used To Be A Stud With A Gorgeous Mullet
Tom Thibodeau is the new president/coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves, but it’s not the first time he’s worked with the team. In 1989, he took a job with the T-Wolves as an assistant coach under Bill Musselman. At that time, Thibs also had some glorious lettuce....
How NFL Quarterback Jersey Sales Nearly Destroyed The Union
The following excerpt comes from Matthew Futterman’s Players: The Story of Sports and Money, and the Visionaries Who Fought to Create a Revolution, released yesterday by Simon & Schuster. This excerpt tells the little-known story of NFL executives Frank Vuono and Mike Ornstein, who attempted to thwa...
Two Butt Teams Combine To Play Butt Game
Real Madrid and Manchester City—two teams that kind of suck in similar ways, and are lucky to even be here thanks to their fortunate draws leading up to this point—met in the Champions League semifinal today. It should’ve been one of the best matches of the year, pitting two greats of Europe in a cl...
Chobani Yogurt Man Is Good Boss
Hamdi Ulukaya, the founder of Chobani yogurt, is a good yogurt mogul who also made a lot of his yogurt minions rich today. May we all pressure our bosses to be more like him....
Holy Shit, Dan Boyle Really Hates Larry Brooks
A disappointing season for the old-ass Rangers, and the oldest (but only among the most disappointing) Ranger of all, defenseman Dan Boyle, took advantage of what is surely his last day with the team to call out a pair of reporters with whom he’s been beefing for a while now....
The Time Hunter S. Thompson Passed Out In A Pool And Missed The Rumble In The Jungle
The classic 1974 Ali-Foreman fight in Zaire attracted, among other things, famous writers like Norman Mailer and George Plimpton and even ol’ Hunter Thompson. But while Mailer and Plimpton and the rest of the world marveled at Ali’s command performance, Thompson, well, he experienced the fight as on...
Hillsborough Inquest Finds Police Error Led To Deaths Of 96 Soccer Fans
After a two-year inquest—the longest in British history—a nine-person jury has found that 96 Liverpool fans who died attending the 1988-89 FA Cup Semifinal between Nottingham Forest and Liverpool at Hillsborough Stadium were unlawfully killed....
Six More Memes That I Swear Curt Schilling Shared To His Facebook Page
Former MLB pitcher Curt Schilling is no longer employed at ESPN, so he’s back to sharing memes on his Facebook page, and let me tell you, these memes are the cream of the crop. I don’t share these memes in an attempt to shame Schilling; he’s sufficiently shamed himself. I’m just fascinated by them....
GGG Makes Mincemeat Of Dominic Wade, Earns 32nd Knockout
Dominic Wade lasted 335 seconds before being knocked out by Gennady Golovkin in a fashion not unlike the previous 31 men who fell by the Kazakhstani middleweight champion’s fists and didn’t get back up....