bo Page 471 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Found <i>Purity</i>'s First Honest Paragraph, On Page 66
When last we met, Jonathan Franzen had mucked up the early pages of his novel Purity with repeated appraisals of the sex appeal of his main character, Pip. I was creeped out, but leaving room for the possibility that Franzen might be up to something that would redeem—or at least make some sense of—a...
How To Fix Your TV If You Couldn't See The Timeouts On <i>Monday Night Football</i>
A lot of people complained last night that ESPN’s new, flashy graphics system for Monday Night Football no longer showed how many timeouts each team had remaining. That’s not true! As you can see above, the timeouts are clearly displayed beneath each team’s logo. If you couldn’t see those, then your...
Jackass Fights With Adrian Gonzalez For Foul Ball
So here’s some dickhead wearing a Red Sox cap fighting with Dodgers first baseman Adrian Gonzalez for a foul ball. Gonzalez won, but he was obviously pretty pissed off. And why shouldn’t he be? The Dodgers aren’t even playing the Red Sox!...
The Giants' Collapse Was Even Dumber Than It Looked (And It Already Looked Pretty Dumb)
It was one thing when it appeared that the Giants’ merely brainfarted 40 extra seconds to the Cowboys for a game-winning drive that needed 33 of them. Now as players discuss the calls in the huddle and from the sideline, it’s so, so much worse: the Giants a) did not realize how many timeouts the Cow...
Here's Will Ferrell's At-Bat In <i>Ferrell Takes The Field</i>, Which Was A Drag Otherwise
Spoiler Alert: They don’t really let Will Ferrell pitch in Ferrell Takes the Field, his stunt HBO doc where he plays every position (plus designated hitter) for 10 different MLB teams during one day of 2015 spring training action in Arizona. No, in his 90-second stint with the Dodgers, he throws one...
Dez Bryant Got Hurt, Stayed Hyped
One of the worst things about Week 1 is the inevitable rash of injuries that knocks a half-dozen or so stars out for a good portion of the season. Dez Bryant’s injury wasn’t the most serious of the day, but he’ll need surgery on his broken foot and will miss the next four to six weeks. Don’t worry a...
The Giants' Loss Was Inexplicable
This wasn’t one of those bad, game-killing decisions that requires hindsight to identify as a mistake. It’s no less baffling the morning after as it was the moment Eli Manning floated the ball out of the end zone to stop the clock and gave the Cowboys a full minute-and-a-half to complete their comeb...
BYU's At It Again
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David Ortiz Clobbers 500th Home Run Of His Career
David Ortiz became the 27th member of the 500 home run club Saturday night, belting a solo shot off of Matt Moore in the 5th inning to right field. ...
It Was Really Too Wet To Be Playing Soccer In Brazil Last Night
When Brazilian Série B clubs Boa Esporte and Oeste faced off in Itápolis last night, the “field” they played on was really more like a lake. I’m actually kind of impressed by the highlights below: they sort of played a real game of soccer on a field you could teach a kid to swim on. The ball just di...
Michael Zerafa Stretchered Out Of Ring After Being Knocked Out By Peter Quillin
Peter Quillin improved his career record to 32-0-1 after a knockout of Michael Zerafa so brutal his opponent had to be stretchered out of the ring....
Football Team Passes For 782 Yards, Scores 90 Points, Still Loses
Last year, the Meadville (Pa.) High School football team scored 78 points in one game while rushing for more than 600 yards and lost, 79-78, to Warren. Tonight the Bulldogs did that feat one better—by being the victor, and turning the Dubois Beavers into the sad loser in a 107-90 victory... in, obvi...
Baltimore Cops Have Found A New Enemy: Dirt-Bikers
On North Avenue in the Station North Arts district—a midpoint between East and West Baltimore—a wall is affixed with a wheatpaste image of legendary dirt-biker Wheelie Wayne popping his namesake alongside the words, “Pick up a bike, put down a gun.” It’s popular slogan among the 12 O’Clock Boys, a b...
Why Is Floyd Mayweather Fighting A Nobody This Weekend?
Throughout most of his career, Elvis Presley was the highest paid performer in show business. He was managed by an old school flim-flam artist called Colonel Tom Parker, who passed himself off as a kind of Southern gentleman even though he was actually a Dutchman named van Kuijk. ...
There Is Joy In The Work
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Report: Floyd Mayweather Received Banned IV Before Pacquiao Fight
The day before his fight against Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather took two intravenous infusions totaling 750 milliliters. The bags contained mixtures of saline and vitamins, but their contents are irrelevant: any IVs over 50 mL are strictly banned. The Nevada State Athletic Commission, which sancti...
America Has Always Wanted To Pretend That Sports Aren't Work
Last month, given the chance to affirm that college athletes have basic labor rights, the National Labor Review Board punted. It’s rare that a sports metaphor so perfectly crafted for lazy headline writers is so fitting, but punting—the most cowardly, spineless, and responsibility-evading decision r...
Reports: Bruno Mars Invited To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show
Here are a pair of reports stating that the NFL has asked Bruno Mars to play a part in the Super Bowl 50 halftime show, just two years after his last appearance....