bo Page 498 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Semifinals Start NOW. VOTE!
You God-damned animals voted Ridged Chips out? In favor of Kettle Chips??? What kind of perversion is this? Fine, you know what? Go scratch, more Ruffles for me....
NFL: We Won't Sell That Officially-Licensed Photo Of Lynch's Dick Grab
An NFL spokesman says the league has decided a $150 Seahawks NFC Championship collage that featured Marshawn Lynch's "obscene" crotch grab wasn't officially-licensed after all, and has pulled it from the NFL Shop. ...
Chris Berman Has Had It With This Pro Bowl Bullshit
Safe to say Chris Berman was not a fan of the Pro Bowl halftime show performed by Nico & Vinz. Here's his pissed-off reaction after ESPN's lackluster broadcast....
The NFL Sells A Photo Of Marshawn Lynch's "Obscene" Gesture For $150
The NFL fined Marshawn Lynch $20,000 for grabbing his dick and now says they may penalize the team yardage if the Seahawks running back pulls an M.J. during the Super Bowl. But the league's distaste for "hold my dick" stopped once they realized they could make money on Lynch's johnson, as evidenced ...
Even QVC Is Making Jokes About The Patriots' Footballs
Shut it down. All that can be said about Ballghazi has been said....
Best. Vacuum. EVER: A Guide To Ignoring The NFL Pro Bowl
It will be hard—achingly hard, if not nigh-impossible—for you, a committed sports fan, to divert your attention away from the luminous spectacle of competitive purity that is the 2015 NFL Pro Bowl, presented by McDonald's....
Wilfried Bony Wrecks Defender With Nutmegging Elastico
Technically, this Malian defender did well not letting Ivory Coast's Wilfried Bony score here, but while sitting on his ass after Bony embarrassed him by flicking an elastico between his legs, I wonder if the guy thought he'd have been better off letting the striker walk on by....
Bill Nye The Science Guy Says Bill Belichick Is Full Of Shit
Science expert Bill Nye appeared on Good Morning America today to unequivocally call out Bill Belichick as a bullshitter....
Bill Belichick: "I've Handled Dozens Of Balls" In Search To Do Science
The NFL's resident Mr. Wizard, Bill Belichick, attempted to explain away Ballghazi by running a post pattern on science this afternoon, going long on Boyle's Law and the intricacies of the New England Patriots' process of touching, rubbing, and caressing balls....
The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Divisional Finals Are Upon Us. VOTE!
Big Peanut took a page out of Big Avocado's playbook, attempting to throw my bracket by ginning up Twitter support. Big Peanut did not succeed....
<i>RoboCop </i>Is The Best Movie Ever Made
In fourth grade, I went to school every day with a RoboCop lunchbox. In retrospect, this seems insane. RoboCop is arguably the bleakest, most violent, most nihilistic movie ever made by an American studio. Every scene seems to drip with malice even when nothing especially dramatic is happening. It's...
Imprisoned Cowboys Fan Sues NFL For $89B For Reversing Dez Bryant Catch
Terry Hendrix, currently incarcerated in Colorado and a serial filer of frivolous lawsuits, has finally struck upon a real injustice. He's suing the NFL for nearly $89 billion for the officiating decision to overturn Dez Bryant's reception in the Cowboys' playoff loss to the Packers....
This Glorious Goober Will Blow Your Mind With His Sick Archery Skills
This video is nearly six minutes long. I understand that asking you, dear reader, to watch a six-minute video of some dude doing archery tricks in his garage and the woods by his house is a tall order, but you need to do this. You need to watch Lars Andersen, master of ancient and long-forgotten bow...
Celtics Beat Trail Blazers On Sloppiest Game-Winner Of The Year
Down two to the Trail Blazers with under 10 seconds remaining, the Celtics were relying upon Jared Sullinger to get them a crucial basket. That should tell you all you need to know about how good they are, that Brad Stevens looked up and down his bench for his best option and settled upon Sullinger....
Time For Your Worst-Ever Poop Stories
Oh God, the Super Bowl bye week. I feel as if all the blood has been drained from my body. No playoff games. No picked up flags. No de-juiced balls. No endless replays. I barely know what to do with myself, apart from avoiding the Pro Bowl....
UNM Basketball Player Credits Twitter Dipshit For His Big Game
New Mexico guard Hugh Greenwood had 22 points and eight rebounds in Wednesday night's 71-69 win over UNLV. After the game, the senior said a tweet about his mother—who has secondary breast cancer—was part of the drive behind his performance....
The NFL Should Just Leave Marshawn Lynch The Hell Alone
According to ESPN's Adam Schefter, the NFL is preparing to become much more aggressive in its battle against Marshawn Lynch and his continued refusal to give a fuck....
Boston Bars City Employees From Criticizing The Olympics
Nobody who lives in Boston actually wants the city to win its bid for the 2024 Olympic games. And yet, in a joinder agreement between the city and the United States Olympic Committee, mayor Marty Walsh has signed a contract that forbids city employees from speaking negatively about the big, the IOC,...
Round 2 Of The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs Starts NOW! Vote!
Cheese & Crackers very nearly pulled off a huge upset. The 8-seed, matched up against football snack staple Nacho Cheese Doritos, was almost left off the bracket entirely because your bracketeer thought it perhaps a touch too bougie for this exercise. Which is insane, when you consider that the sa...