bo Page 833 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Calipari: Be Nice to Pitino!
Sporting News Today reports (without any direct quotations) that John Calipari wants Kentucky basketball fans to refrain from picking on Rick Pitino when Louisville visits Rupp Arena....

BoSox Cap Can't Cover Fan's Shame, Penis
Anyone know what Kevin Youkilis did after being ejected the other night? Because a Massachusetts man was arrested for taking a walk wearing sneakers, a Red Sox cap...and nothing else....

An Assist For Nick Van Exel: How An NBA Scorekeeper Cooked The Books
In January 1997, the Lakers' Nick Van Exel handed out 23 assists in a 95-82 victory over Vancouver, a feat less attributable to his sharpshooting teammates than to the numbers-fudging Lakers fan working the Grizzlies' scorer's table....

And Here Comes The "Pitino Is A Baby Killer" Hysteria
Shockingly, Louisville's pro-life students are not impressed with how their coach handled the post-restaurant floor mom-banging: "Rick Pitino was willing to take his own child's life in order to cover up a cheap, tawdry affair."[ALL.org]...

Our Man In Boy Clothes Is Not Feeling Generous Today
Mike Lupica's ego is to sportswriting what Milton Berle's cock is to comedy. It is an occupational totem, around which colleagues spin fantastical-seeming yarns that just so happen to be true. Here are a few such tales....

What To Expect From "Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals"
The Cincinnati Bengals are not quite the trainwreck they once were, but everyone is still hoping for some kind of entertainment value out of this year's edition of HBO's "Hard Knocks" docudrama. Don't get your hopes up....

Rick Pitino, Health Care Reformer
The coach's attorney says the $3,000 given to Karen Cunagin Sypher was not for an abortion but to help her buy medical insurance, furnishing America with yet another argument in favor of a single-payer model. [ESPN]...

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Football Fan's Manifesto"
Today's a glorious day. Michael Tunison aka Kwanzaa Primate's utterly fantastic book has arrived and he's graciously given us an excerpt. Plus! He's here to live chat with you. Buy it then pepper him with inane questions....

At Least This Man Is Used To Hard Luck
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

And David Ortiz Has A Few Things To Get Off Of His Chest
Big Papi handled himself as confidently and apologetically as he possibly could while he addressed the whole "why's your name popping up on that mysterious list of bad, bad men"-issue. No steroids, he says. Just supplements....

Is This The End Of John Smoltz?
The 42-year-old was DFA'd a day after he gave up eight runs and nine hits in a loss to the Yankees, raising his ERA to 8.33. Theo Epstein flew to New York to deliver the news in person. [Boston Globe]...

Yanks On Top Again, All Right With The World
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Chris Bosh And Friend Sweet Talk The Ladies Via T-Shirt
It's not every day you run into something this unusual and outrageous on the streets of Toronto. Oh, look ... Chris Bosh is there too....

The Eyes Of Texas Are Upon You
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Coach Who Said Hitler Was A Good Leader Wants To Run For Congress
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

"Assault In The Ring" Reminds You To Hate Boxing Forever
You may have already seen the HBO documentary "Assault In The Ring," but if you haven't yet, put it on your to-do list. Just in case you've forgotten that boxing is filled, top to bottom, with unbelievable scumbags....

Look At You. You Disgust Me.
Hey you. Yeah, you. You a big sports fan? Of course you are. You fat bastard. You make my physically ill....

Why Today's Red Sox Steroids Story Is More, And Less, Important Than It Seems
Steroids? In Boston's clubhouse? Big news a week ago. Now it's something of an afterthought that a pair of team staffers were let go for steroid use. But this story's going to be huge, and I'll tell you why....

The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....

MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
This day was chock full of Tebow news, huh? Some of it was even covered on the definitive internet address for Tebowniacs, TimTeblog.com. I'll give you one guess who is behind TimTeblog and his name rhymes with Shan Danoff....