bo Page 874 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hard-Nosed Boxer Will Perform His Own Surgery, Thank You Very Much
There's tough, there's boxer tough, and then there's Keyser Soze "shoot your family in the face to prove you value nothing" tough. Then there's cruiserweight fighter Juan Carlos Robles. After putting his motorcycle in a ditch, Robles recovered from a broken right kneecap, a dislocated right elbow, a...
Your Week 4 Jamboroo, Featuring Home Brewed Beer, RBBC Vultures, Sugar, Trader Joe’s, Cheap Trick, Bar Mitzvahs, And Gratuitous Cleavage
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. No...
Meanwhile, Down At The Arlington DMV ...
Sunday night can't get here soon enough for Washington Redskins fans, one of whom slipped this little gem past the ever-vigilant profanity watchdogs at his local Department of Motor Vehicles. The plates on his other car say "Assman." Elsewhere, noting that Terrell Owens is not in the NFL top 10 in e...
Kimbo Slice Lives An American Fantasy And Punches David Blaine In The Stomach
I admit: Like a true backwoods dope, I was initially mystified by David Blaine's early "magic" specials. Especially that time he turned a hobo's coffee into coins or the one where he levitated from the sidewalk. Like Michael Jackson and Fiona Apple, I believed David Blaine's magic was real, man. A f...
Red Sox Clinch Playoffs, Celebrate Accordingly
Question for the day: Is the pictured celebration by the Red Sox on Tuesday really warranted, considering that all they clinched was a wild-card playoff berth? Sure, it's the playoffs, and that's cause for happiness, I suppose. But you didn't even win your division (although technically they still c...
Give Him Liberty, Or Give Him Beer: Rowdy Fan Says He Was 'Striking Back For Red Sox Nation'
When his colonial ancestors were being oppressed by a larger, more formidable power, they fought back the only way they knew how; with bold, guerrilla tactics. Could Red Sox fan Chris Sciesinski do any less? Trapped behind enemy lines at Tropicana Field, taunted and scorned beyond all reason by Tamp...
City Attempts To Curb Excessive Drunkenness Of Joyful Cubs Fans
That means you too, Cuban. Bracing for the inevitable rush on booze-ingestion during the Cubs' playoff run, the Windy City is bars to voluntarily cease all alcohol sales after the 7th-inning in Wrigleyville area bars during a "clinch game" to prevent any "ugly alcohol-related incidents" from ruining...
Big Dope Loses All His Cowboys Stuff. Poor, Dumb Sap
You hate to see anyone become the victim of a burglary, but at the same time it's hard to feel any sympathy for Bruce Marziani. Bruce was born and raised in Philadelphia, but is a Dallas Cowboys fan, as you can see. And when he traveled to Irving for the big Monday Night showdown with the Eagles, he...
In Which We Ask The Musical Question, What The Hell Was That?
Kat DeLuna was called a "pop sensation" by the Texas Stadium announcer as she prepared to sing the National Anthem at what I'm assuming was the Monday Night game against the Eagles. She caused a sensation, all right. It's the first time I've heard an anthem singer booed who didn't unintentionally b...
Cowboys Love Them Wide Open Spaces
We mentioned this in morning blogdome, but felt that it needed to be expanded. See what I did there? Scientists estimate that sometime in the future, perhaps a hundred years from now, the typical human ass will be wider than a Subaru Outback. In Texas, they're already getting close. As workers begin...
Buzz Bissinger Wants To Help You Find Somebody To Love
For those of us lucky enough to be Facebook friends with esteemed author and cantankerous blog-basher Buzz Bissinger, we were all treated with a special surprise in the last 10 minutes when it appeared Buzz had made the effort to write something on our walls. Not the case. It seems poor Buzz got Fac...
The Death Of The Black Quarterback. Jamboroo, Week 3
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. Wi...
Excerpt: "Boys Will Be Boys" By Jeff Pearlman
"Boys Will Be Boys", Jeff Pearlman's fascinating account of the glory days of the Cowboys dynasty is making the media rounds this week and we will happily join in to promote it. It is ridiculously entertaining. Yes, Charles Haley is the star, but there is so much more to it than just his dong-flappi...
Could There Be A More Fitting Metaphor For The AL East Race?
Don't tase Boston's divisional title chances, bro! If this isn't a sign from the baseball gods that the race is over in the East, I don't know what is. This Red Sox fan tried to leap the dugout and run onto the field at the Trop on Wednesday, but was met with Epic Failure: security grabbed him, and ...
Big Papi's Bed Will End Homelessness, Achieve Peace In The Middle East
I have always dreamed of sleeping in Big Papi's bed, but until now I never thought that it could become a reality. Now it's here; the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own Big Papi's bed. I don't know for sure, but I imagine that sleeping there would be like nestling into a warm, comforting hug by t...
Costas Out: There Should Be Better Gay Athlete Stories
Bob Costas, pocket-sized television sports reporter and popular feud instigator, gave a long, detailed interview to AfterElton.com as to why NBC neglected to make a bigger story out Australian diver Matthew Mitcham's gold medal victory, since he was the only openly gay man at the Games. NBC had alre...
Mock The Mohawk At Your Own Peril
Silly? Yes; especially when you consider that manager Joe Maddon is wearing one. But the Rays' new mohawk look seems to have mystical powers; a force that the Boston Red Sox were not able to overcome on Tuesday. The Rays broke free from a virtual tie with Boston atop the standings with a 2-1 win at ...
Jerry Jones Would Like To Take This Opportunity To Let Everyone Know That Ed Hochuli Has Sucked For A While
It's been a rough week for referee Ed Hochuli as The Worst Officiating Call In The History Of The NFL continues to get picked apart by football pundits, fans, and coaches. As pointed out yesterday, Hochuli has been busy apologizing to everyone for his botched whistle-blow in the Chargers/Broncos gam...
Curt Schilling Puts the Moves on Cindy McCain?
Everyone knows that Curt Schilling loves John McCain. But can the Republican presidential nominee trust the Red Sox pitcher when it comes to something much more important than an election...his wife? At a recent charity event, Curt Schilling confused Cindy McCain with his wife and held hands with h...
Tallest College Basketball Player Ever, 7'7 370 pound Kenny George, Out For Season
Kenny George plays for UNC-Asheville. Last season he averaged 12.4 points and 7 rebounds per game while leading the nation with a 69.6% shooting percentage. But his massive size has always been a problem for his feet. And now, after a second foot surgery this offseason, the AP says, he's out for th...