bo Page 949 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
What you missed while purchasing donut-flavored ice cream ... • MLB: Tigers' revenge ... Twins get swept. That'll teach 'em. • Soccer: You know what I always say ... it's not really a soccer brawl until someone gets tasered. • Golf: An Irishman is in danger of winning the British Open for the first ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while reading Strunk & White's Elements of Style ... • MLB: He owes it all to clean living ... Griffey collects 2,500th hit, Reds win. • Tennis: Marat Safin advances at ATP Countrywide Classic. Very nice! • Golf: Tiger, Choi first to top of leaderboard at British Open. But it's raini...

Tony Romo's Heart Will Go On
Ladies, it's useless to resist; the smooth musical stylings of Tony Romo are destined to capture your heart. The American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament is over, but left behind is this treasured memento, taken at the Center Stage Club at Harrah's Lake Tahoe on Saturday night. I will not rest un...

The Red Sox Sewing Circle Now Officially Includes Simmons
We don't quite understand all the weird little in-jokes and politics of Boston Red Sox baseball, and, for this, we find ourselves rather fortunate. So maybe a Sox fan can translate this for us, because, apparently, NESN broadcaster Jerry Remy ripped into The Sports Feller on the Boston broadcast las...

About Last Night ...
What you missed during your shocking slapfest ... • MLB: All hail El Duque, stealer of bases, and of our hearts! Mets 7, Padres 0. • Tour de France: Top o' the world, ma! Juan Mauricio Soler pedals nimbly through the Alps. • Pan Am Games: OK, question. If I e-mailed Shawn Johnson to congratulate her...

Tommy Morrison Is A Deep Thinker
One would think "boxer" Tommy Morrison's constant claims that AIDS is "an invented virus" making money for the drug industry, and that "heterosexuals can't transmit the virus" would inspire people to stop taking him seriously and no longer listen to him. That hasn't worked, but maybe his new enlight...

Please Do Not Run Over The Man In The Enormous Thong
If you think the Tour de France is boring, well, you're obviously missing the regular appearances from Borat. We hear they're making a new version of "American Gladiators." We're going to have to insist they all wear this swimsuit....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while solemnly disposing of all your John Gilmore III Presidential campaign posters ... • MLB: Griffey hits No. 587 ... take that, Frank Robinson. • Tennis: Federer, Nadal on collision course again. • Softball: It's the year of the Cat ... U.S, wins World Cup....

Teach The Children Skills They Can Use
Say what you will, man, but it certainly seems to us that there's a lot of children being left behind. Kids just aren't getting the education they need; our school system is helplessly flawed. Thankfully, one man stands bravely ahead of the pack, doing what he can to teach the youth the skills they ...

The Matchup You've Waited For: Bonds Vs. Laundry Cart
We take you now to the Giants' clubhouse at Dodger Stadium, where Barry Bonds has a few words about his second straight 0-for-5 performance in a 5-3 loss to the Dodgers: "It's an embarrassment for me to be wearing this (expletive deleted) uniform 'cause of the way I'm playing. There, that's it. Now ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while playing the saxophone for relaxation ... • MLB: Phillies reach the 10,000 level. • Motor Sports: Hamlin gets whacked at Chicagoland. • Tennis: Russia beats U.S. in Fed Cup, will now focus on defeating Moose and Squirrel ......

Lefty Loses The Scottish Open In Style
I don't follow golf. Never have, only will when I'm older and need a good way to hide from my goddamn wife and kids who won't stop bugging me to take them to the fucking movie theatre to see some shitty ass flick that probably stars Hillary Duff....

"I Love It When You One, Two Punch"
And in other boxing news, Roy Jones Jr. won a 12-round, unanimous decision against previously undefeated Anthony Hanshaw last night. Here's to hoping Roy raps about it....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while roasting your pig and garage ... • Boxing: Arturo Gatti retires after taking a "Contender" Gomez beating. • MLB: Glavine joins the historic 298-win club as Mets edge Reds. • FIFA U-20 World Cup: America, fuck no! Austria upsets the US 2-1....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while eating 15 million ice-cream treats ... • MLB: Sheff hits an "all the way black" granny in Tigers' 6-3 win. • Cycling: Belgian Tom Boonen takes Tour's 6th stage on a BMX bike. • CFL: Bombers lose to Inuit; Stegall still stuck on history....

You Could Be Rich Garces' BFF
You want a gift that keeps on giving? The Boston Globe is currently running what might be the greatest contest since "Whack J.D. Drew Day."...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while wrangling your bats ... • MLB: Manny & Ortiz ...they're cops! • Golf: Phil Mickelson says that if it's not Scottish, it's crap! • Cycling: Cancellara retains the glass slipper....

Your Feeble Kicks Have No Effect On ... DOH!
It's an idea whose time has come; NBA players as European soccer goalies. Perhaps the Celtics' Paul Pierce is not the one to blaze this particular trail, however; as he looks here less like a keeper and more like a captured tuna....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering what the heck everyone is laughing about ... • Running of the Bulls: Six more people gored today as the bulls threaten to turn this one into a rout. • Soccer: U.S. Under-20 World Cup team beats nation of 1.7 million with a 20 percent unemployment rate. • Fencing: Braz...