bo Page 964 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
What you missed while planning your lunar eclipse party ... • College basketball: Texas fought the Law and the Law didn't win. • NBA: Suns finally lose to an Eastern Conference team, and it's, wait ... who? • NHL: No sooner does Bill Guerin make his debut for Sharks than he is sadly devoured by Pred...

Get Your Morrison/Harding Tickets FAST
We are trying to decide which part of this story is the saddest and most indicative of how our planet is in an irreversible downward incline. (Or, you know, "decline," if you want to say that in fewer words.) Tonight, in Brandon, Mo., The Amateur Boxing Club of Branson — such a thing exists — is hos...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering where the hell is Beeks? ... • NBA: Teams with carnivorous mammals in their nicknames now officially just barely trying when they play the Mavericks. • NHL: Bertuzzi, 24 others suddenly have a lot of packing to do. • College basketball: Attention ... Pittsburgh can st...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing your will on your grounded Jet Blue flight ... • NHL: Holiday For Vowels ... Keith Tkachuk, Alexei Zhitnik debut for Thrashers in 3-2 win over Bruins. • NBA: Kobe, Lakers call out hoarsely: "We're not dead yet!" • College basketball: Jolly Olly Orange ... Syracuse upend...

The Giants Are Obsessed With Paula Abdul
You might remember last year, when Barry Bonds became the only man to ever dress up as Paula Abdul and not need fake breasts. (It was for the yearly Giants' "American Idol" contest, or something.) Well, the Giants pulled off the stunt again this year, and we have to say, this whole Barry Bonds and B...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while getting together with your buddies to produce silhouettes of all your favorite movies ... • College basketball: Ohio State clinches Big Ten with win over Wisconsin; Florida observes with interest. • NBA: For those who consider it a rivalry, please note: Nets 101, Knicks 92. • N...

The First Rule Of The Super Bowl Is, You Do Not Talk About The Super Bowl... Or The Big Game
The NFL, of course, has the term "Super Bowl" trademarked, so you can't use those particular words to promote any kind of a party or gathering for the event. Not only is it illegal, but if you close your eyes and say "Super Bowl" three times, Ed Hochuli will appear in front of you and rip your godda...

About Last Night...
• NBA. San Antonio 102, Seattle 71. 11 Top 25 teams outscored the Sonics yesterday, and they all did it in 8 fewer minutes. • NHL. Ottawa 6, Buffalo 5. Just two fights? Come on, where's your commitment? • College Basketball. Michigan State 66, Indiana 58. Drew Neitzel does his best work after halfti...

At Least He Doesn't Have AIDS
Lennox Lewis wants to make a comeback to the boxing ring. Who's he going to fight? Someone else who's coming out of retirement, of course, because that's all that's really left in boxing. An old-timers day in boxing would be rather redundant....

About Last Night...
• College Basketball: St. Peter's 54, Iona 52. ESPNU doesn't have nearly enough games between teams that have records of 5-23 and 2-26. • NBA: Nets 109, Kings 96. 22 points, 13 board, and 10 assists isn't bad for a guy with a cracked rib. Of course, Jason Kidd's been in worse pain this year. • WGC A...

Jim Lampley Is Only Guilty Of Following His Heart (Oh, And His Ex. Her Too.)
In a San Diego court yesterday, waxen HBO broadcaster Jim Lampley pled no contest to violating a restraining order against him filed by an ex-girlfriend. She claims that Lampley threw her against walls a door in their hotel room on New Years Eve, and for a former Miss California, being thrown agains...

Tommy Morrison Most Healthy Undercard Winner Last Night
Well, they actually let Tommy Morrison — who pretty much everybody knows has HIV, save for himself, a couple of his doctor friends and some West Virginia boxing board members — fight last night, and, lo and behold, he won, knocking out John Castle in his first fight in 11 years. Castle had admitted ...

NBA Roundup: DJ Was Always A Cut Above
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

About Last Night ...
What you missed while giving the cat a perm ... • NBA: Mavericks ascending ... Heat, sans Wade, fall to Dallas 112-100. • Golf: Tiger's got them right where he wants them (insert evil laugh). • College basketball: We have a Conference USA champion, folks. Memphis 99, Rice 63....

Delonte West's Mating Rituals Not All That Effective
You might remember, about a year ago, when Celtics guard Delonte West told Page 2 what he loves about ladies on Valentine's Day. A highlight:...

These Guys Obviously Would Make Great Friends
With apologies to J.E. Skeets ......

About Last Night ...
What you missed as Socrates scores possibly the most important goal of his career ... • NBA: Jacked up ... Phil Jackson's first six-game losing streak, as Jarrett Jack leads Portland over LA 112-108. • College basketball: UConn work it out, UConn work it ooouuutttt ... Calhoun's milestone win import...

The Return Of El Guapo
The Nashua Pride minor league baseball team is renowned, like any great minor league team, for its desperate promotions to bring people to the ballpark. (Last year they signed Oil Can Boyd ... well, before he was hit with stalking charges.) Well, this year, they've come up with the best promotion ye...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while tending your four-legged duck ... • NBA: Oh fellas ... Steve Nash is back ... • College basketball: Well, that didn't last long. No. 1 Wisconsin knocked off by Michigan State. • NHL: Ice capades ... Senators give Murray 600th coaching win....

Eventually, The Running Man Will Become Reality
You know, with the freakshow that boxing has become and probably always was, that it was inevitable: ESPN is reporting that Tommy Morrison, the former "Rocky V" boxer who has HIV, will be fighting Thursday night....