bo Page 968 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night...
• NBA. Timberwolves 110, Jazz 103. Kevin Garnett: 31 points, 14 boards, and 1 heartfelt plea for the Wolves to trade for Allen Iversion, which will make Kevin McHale look like a jackass if he can't pull it off. • NHL. Devils 2, Flyers 0. Marty Brodeur's shutout ties him with someone on the all-time ...

Bonds Back In Only Place That Truly Loves Him
Well, now we can breathe easy over here; Barry Bonds won't be going to St. Louis. (And now that he's not, we'd like to note that we would have never sold out our principles to root for him. Nope! No way! Obviously! Of course not!)...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while applying cologne to your ... well, just see No. 10 ... • NFL: Willie Parker sets Steelers rushing mark in win over Browns in the least-TiVoed game of the season so far. • NBA: Pow! Pistons surprise Mavericks in Dallas. • NHL: Shootout! Henrik Lundqvist, you're our hero....

Sadly, She Was Only On Level One
What happens when you cross Million Dollar Baby with The Miracle Worker? You get this; which we suppose is video boxing, but could also be a clearcut case of demonic possession. We blame two things for these deeply troubling images: The new wireless Wii remote, and Title IX. Clearly there are flaws ...

Bonds In St. Louis, And What It Could Mean For The Human Condition
Part of being a sports fan is making internal deals with yourself. Sure, you might despise, say, Charles Oakley when he's on the other team, but when he's on your team, he's indispensable and the guy you scream for. No matter what he has done in the past, no matter how much he has hurt your team or ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while finally agreeing to disconnect the feeding tube from Michigan's national title hopes ... • NHL: It seems strange to say "Oilers and Hurricanes" and "rematch of Stanley Cup finals" in the same sentence, but there you have it. • College basketball: Bobby Knight will soon be maste...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while watching a wiener dog chase a bear ... • NBA: "No thanks, I think I'll pass ..." Nash dishes 20 assists as Suns drop Kings. • NHL: Red Wings ruin Brett Hull Night the only way they know how. • College basketball: LSU stops Texas A&M ... and, let the Big Baby hype officially beg...

Further Heavy Reading In The Land Of The Footie
It's a trend we like and would tend to encourage; passive-aggressive insults by European soccer fans. Bradford City, a League One soccer club, recently published a book about rival club Leeds United, entitled Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The Not So Massive Club That Was Super L666ds, w...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering in the doctor's office if your cell plan includes "ass waiting" ... • NFL: Happy Feet ... Eagles' Jeff Garcia scrambles past Panthers. • NBA: The Streak is dead ... Mavericks cannot withstand the power of Agent Zero's wrath. • NHL: Marty Turco laughs at your feeble sc...

NBA Roundup: What About The Bobcats?
Notes from Sunday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

About Last Night ...
What you missed while falling asleep in line to buy tickets to Happy Feet ... • NFL: When kickers ruled the earth ... Seahawks, Titans, Cowboys win in final seconds on long field goals. God, we hate Hobbits. • NHL: Kozlov hogs all the shots as Islanders beat Rangers 4-3. • NBA: Hawks win in the Rose...

About Last Night...
• College Football: Florida 38, Arkansas 28. The Gators are now going to need the human voters to work miracles. • College Football: West Virginia 41, Rutgers 39. And Rutgers has still never won in Morgantown. More on this in a bit... • College Basketball: (10) Duke 61, (23) Georgetown 52. Greg Paul...

About Last Night...
• College Football: Houston 34, Southern Mississippi 20. Houston wins the C-USA title, and Andre Ware walks around the Bristol campus today feeling like a bad-ass. • Tennis: Russia takes 2-1 lead in Davis Cup final. The Russians are now one win away from the Davis Cup title, and I promise not to men...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while finally making use of that University of Miami degree (sorry)... • NFL: Bengals 13, Ravens 7. That guy on the commercial who drafted T.J. Houshmandzadeh was right — even though he couldn't pronounce the name. • Horse racing: Russell Baze provides news that doesn't involve Barba...

Free Mikey
The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man returning soup at a deli....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while unpacking your horse, which finally arrived in the mail ... • College basketball: Well, that didn't last long. Ohio State now No. 1 in only two things. • NBA: Knicks win! Knicks win! Wee! • NHL: So it turns out that Tuomo Ruutu is not a character in a Rudyard Kipling novel. Our...

Welcome To The Romo Bandwagon Express, With No Stops Until Jan. 20
With Steve Silverman's love note to Tony Romo on MSNBC this morning, let the worship of the Dallas quarterback officially begin. Not that it started with Silverman by any means — Madden has been giving Romo verbal backrubs for more than a month now. But we're just wondering if America is ready for t...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while inventing the Opti-Grab ... • NHL: Pronger returns to Edmonton, gets booed, Ducks win in OT. Sounds like fun to us. • College basketball: Greivis Bodily Injury ... Led by Greivis Vasquez, Maryland ends Illinois' 51-game non-conference home winning streak. • NBA: Who's Crying No...

NOT What Frank Zamboni Had In Mind
You may not believe this, but in some cities it's still illegal to steal a couple of Zambonis and head downtown for burgers. (Or, as we call it, "fun.)" The nut graph from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while contemplating your underwear ... • NFL: Hey, aren't the Packers supposed to have the advantage in snow? • College basketball: The Wolfpack cannot be stopped! All opponents are meat. • NHL: Kings make a mockery of the power play, still beat Devils in OT....