bo Page 977 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night...
• Tennis: Roger Feder def. Tim Henman, 6-3, 6-4, 7-5. At one point in his career, Tim Henman was 6-1 against Federer. Did those matches take place when Henman was 10 years old and Federer was 3? • MLB: Giants 2, Cubs 6. If you want us to take you seriously as a playoff contender, you can't let the C...
This Book Costs More Than Most People's Yearly Salary
How much do you think you would pay for the greatest book in the world? We're talking about the definitive book on the planet, one that would somehow combine what every other book you've ever read has done for you, change your life, maybe even take out the trash from time to time. How much would y...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while watching the movie "Snakes on a DVD Three Months Earlier Than Planned" ... • Tennis: Take that, Cyprus! Agassi takes marathon win over eighth-seeded Marcos Baghdatis, 6-4, 6-4, 3-6, 5-7, 7-5, at U.S. Open. • College Football: Spurrier gets 150th win the old-fashioned way ... wi...
About Last Night
What you missed while "topping it off," as they say ... • MLB: The Monroe Doctrine ... Tigers beat Yankees in ninth, avoiding doubleheader sweep. • Tennis: '24' ... Andy Roddick celebrates birthday by advancing in U.S. Open. Come on Andy, we're running out of time! • Softball: Meanwhile, in China .....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while finishing up some last-minute National Chicken Month shopping ... • NASCAR: Rusty Wallace unhurt after collison with ... a woman in a 2004 Mercedes? • MLB: Ow, ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow! • Tennis: All U.S. Open matches rained out, and yet FEMA does nothing!...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while teaching your dog to drive. • NFL: Carson Palmer's bionic knee holds up just fine as Bengals devour Packers 48-17. • MLB: Hey, wouldn't it be funny if the Marlins ended up winning the World Series? Funny, right? Anyone? • Tennis: "I'm not dead yet!" Agassi wins in first round o...
About Last Night ...
What you missed despite the best efforts of the Gay Assistants Corps ... • NFL: Well, that was a fine homecoming ... Kubiak, Texans lose to Broncos 17-14. • MLB: Tigers continue to do just enough to cling to AL Central lead, despite our best efforts ... Little League World Series: Final is rained ...
James Toney Is Not Mellowing Out
Former world champion James Toney is fighting a fellow named Samuel Peter next weekend in a title-elimination bout. The winner will be next in line to fight Oleg Maskaev for one of boxing's 342 world heavyweight titles (I think it's the one with the pretty rubies on the belt)....
The Media Creates $9,500 In Fines For Terrell Owens
No one involved wants to comment on it, but the Dallas Cowboys have finally fined Terrell Owens $9,500 for missing a team meeting, missing a rehab session, being late to an offensive meeting, and, according to Bill Parcells "being such a dick."...
Australia Gets Their Beatdown
Team USA buried a big Paul Hogan-style knife into the Australian national team last night, winning by 40 in a game that wasn't as close as the score would indicate. Carmelo had 20, Joe Johnson 18, Dwyane Wade 15, and Shane Battier and Chris Bosh had 12 each....
About Last Night...
• FIBA World Championships: USA 113, Australia 73. The Australian team played like Greg Norman on a Sunday at Augusta. More on this in a bit. • NASCAR: Matt Kenseth wins Sharpie 500. And in doing so, he clinched a spot in the "Chase," which I'm told is a big deal. • MLB: Yankees 7, Angels 12. Yankee...
About Last Night...
• NFL: Steelers 7, Eagles 16. David Akers is in midseason form, hitting from 40, 49, and 52. • MLB: Astros 5, Pirates 1. Roger Clemens got his 347th career win, but since it came against the Pirates, I've still got him at 346 . • NFL: Cardinals 23, Bears 16. Matt Leinart's line: 15-of-21 for 144 yar...
All Bonds Items Half Off; Everything Must Go!
It's official: The bubble has burst on Barry Bonds memorabilia. Jeff Kranz of Phoenix, who has been lovingly collecting Bonds stuff since 1998, is tossing his collection out on the front lawn like a jilted housewife. Well, actually he's dumping it at bargain prices. And it's not because Kranz is d...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while realizing that pretty much anything you do today will be a letdown from yesterday ... • Daunte's Inferno: Panthers beat Dolphins 19-10 in NFL exhibition. • MLB: Vanilla Hose 5 1/2 back after 10-0 win over El Tigres. • World Basketball: U.S. humiliates small western African repu...
Baxter Receives Amazingly Quick Justice
You know, we are no experts in the ever-turning wheels of justice ... but man, this Lonny Baxter thing got settled fast, didn't it?...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting for Amazon to just deliver the damned game already ... • IBA World Basketball: The words "Angola" and "triple overtime" just don't seem to go together. And yet ... • MLB: Yankees pummel Mariners behind Chien-Ming Wang. We're calling it for ... ah, not yet. • Soccer: Aja...
Drew Henson, Man Of Many Ugly Hats
Has there ever been an athlete more consistently overconsidered, for such an extended period of time, as Drew Henson? The guy has been all potential, zero performance; he's Ryan Leaf, except he did it in two sports ... and he wasn't very good in college either....
The ULTIMATE Electrolyte Power Boost!
It has been a while since we have played any organized competitive athletics, so we're a little behind on all the latest innovations in the world of sports beverages meant to quench thirst and replenish, uh, fluids or something....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while blowing up your new football without aid of a pump ... • Tennis: Agassi, Serena Williams fail to get U.S. Open seedings. We will not sleep tonight. • MLB: Takeout Piazza ... Mike Piazza's single drives in only run of game as Padres beat Dodgers. • Motor Sports: NASCAR fines Car...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while drubbing Qatar in basketball ... • MLB: Nasty collision between Aaron Rowand and Chase Utley mars Phillies' 6-5 win over Cubs. • NFL: Cowboys, sans T.O., throttle Saints 30-7 in first NFL game in Shreveport since 1970, y'all. • Tennis: Your Rogers Cup winner is ... not Roger. N...