bo Page 992 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Professor Irvin's Class Is In Session
The Miami Herald points us in the direction of something that was new to us: The Michael Irvin Academic Resource Academy. Irvin recently dedicated the "learning center" in Ft. Lauderdale, and whatever our thoughts about Irvin, it's difficult to find much fault in the gesture. Its goal is to help "...

Boxing's Sad March to Oblivion
We have to admit we were a bit intrigued by the boxing headline this morning, "Angry Ruiz wants rematch after losing to giant." (Made us skip right over the "Centaur wins fifth race at Pimlico" story). It turns out that, indeed, American John Ruiz lost by decision to 7-foot Russian Nikolay Valuev ...

NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while building a snowman army and declaring yourself King of Winter ... • We Blame It All On Lil' Ronnie: Chargers end Colts' perfect season, '72 Dolphins get on their Rascal Scooters to meet up and celebrate once again. • College Basketball: Top-ranked Duke clobbers Valparaiso, goes...

Clearing The 4 o'clock Table...
• Cleveland 9, Oakland 7. If you watched this one, you're a diehard Browns fan, a diehard Raiders fan, or a person with severe emotional problems, and I'm worried about you. Let's get you some help. • Bengals 41, Detroit 17. Even Chad Johnson knows that it's bad form to celebrate the mundane accom...

The Severe Beating of the Dallas Cowboys
The Redskins are beating the Cowboys in just about every possible way that a team can be beaten. You have to wonder how all of our lives would be different if more of the original cowboy vs. Native American matchups had gone this way in the early history of our nation....

So, A Bit Of A Correction...
This is the first correction I've had to post here. It's a little bit of a landmark for me, so I'm kind of proud, though it's probably best if it doesn't become a trend....

Setting the 4 o'clock Table...
• Dallas @ Washington. I think you'll want to watch this one when you see your other two options below... • Cincinnati @ Detroit. Because someone needs to prove to Matt Millen that is is possible to resurrect a moribund franchise. • Cleveland @ Oakland. There are only 3 games at 4 o'clock today, whi...

About Last Night...
• NFL. Broncos 28, Bills 17. Rod Smith catches an impressive 11 balls for 137 yards. Buffalo counters with an impressive 12 penalties for 82 yards. Advantage, Denver. • NBA. Suns 87, Grizzlies 91. Memphis has six scorers in double figures, handing Phoenix their fourth loss in five games. • Boxing. 7...

A Couple Of Naughty Longhorns
Two Texas Longhorns are in trouble, and their timing could be considered poor. The Austin Police Department released a statement last night saying that they were investigating two different criminal incidents involving individuals "involved in the UT athletics program," which sounds like a nice wa...

About Last Night...
While you were hoping that Santa Claus chose to ignore your behavior last night......

How Much Would You Pay To Read This Man?
Earlier this year, The New York Times caused some controversy when it switched much of its online columnists to its TimesSelect feature, forcing you to pay for certain columnists like Maureen Dowd and Frank Rich and so on. (You might not have noticed, because even though they put the sports column...

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While You Annoyed The Rest Of The Audience By Cheering Against The Ape ... • Apolo Ohno, our most gloriously named athlete, qualifies for Olympics once again in speedskating. • NBA: Finley, Spurs keep Timberwolves at bay, 90-88. • Wisconsin beats Wisconsin-Milwaukee. A fierce rivalry...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while inflating the giant, glowing, somewhat frightening front yard lawn Santa ... • NBA: Unstoppable Heat stifle Bucks as Riley goes to 2-0. We are so on this bandwagon. • NBA: Back from injury, Grant Hill leads Magic over Knicks. (Don't tell anyone, but it was a hernia). • NHL: Mar...

PETA's Super Bowl Shuffle
According to the New York Post, the fine folks at PETA are putting together an commercial for the Super Bowl that will involved female models "'flashing' the camera, and when they lift their shirt, they will have prosthetic udders over their breasts." Ignoring the fact that this is almost, letter ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while destroying your accordion with a shovel ... • NBA: Riley's coaching, Shaq's playing like a college kid, Bulls lose — it's like 1988 again! • NHL: Bertuzzi spends nearly entire match in penalty box as Cooke lead Canucks over Rangers. • College Basketball: DePaul exhibits stronge...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while FINALLY finishing Thanksgiving leftovers ... • Monday Night Football: Falcons 36, Saints 17, and America yawns, because, you know, that whole hurricane empathy thing is so not in style anymore. • NBA: Kobe's 43 lead Lakers over Mavericks, forcing Mark Cuban to return to his bur...

That's A Quarter Per Sweat Dollop
Far be it from us to tell collectors what is valuable and what isn't — we wouldn't trade our Willie McGee 1987 Topps card for the Shroud of Turin — but we have to say, we're pretty surprised by one of the top items on MLB.com right now....

About Last Night ...
Your pants are on the roof and for some reason the cat is wearing lipstick. Good morning. We'll bring you up to speed ... • NFL: Colts beat Jaguars to go 13-0 and grab home field advantage. Word. • NHL: Sabres beat Wild as Martin Biron becomes first goalie to win 10 straight starts since 2002. Didn'...

About Last Night...
• Film: Codebreakers. You know, I think Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Taran Noah Smith might've been carrying Zachery Ty Bryan all those years on Home Improvement. My favorite part was when he called someone an "a-hole." • College basketball: Nevada 56, UCLA 67. UCLA gets the W, despite Nick Fazekas go...