bo Page 997 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
So, once again you've awakened at the bottom of the neighbor's empty koi pond. We'll get you up to speed ... • NFL: Redskins come back to nip Cowboys: Parcells seems like 90 years old, doesn't he? • MLB: Back by popular demand, the Red Sox curse: Yankees cut Boston's lead to a half game. • NFL: Sain...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your old high school gym teacher shows up on your porch and demands pushups ... • MNF: Saints at Giants. The hurricane just may have saved Jim Haslett's job. So that's something, anyway. [ABC] • MNF: Redskins at Cowboys. Stop by Jerry Jones' skybox and compliment him on his facelift...
Leftovers: Don't Mess With Texas
• Texans fire offensive coordinator Chris Palmer. Yeah, that'll turn the tide.* [KSPN • K State RB Thomas Clayton knocks over a couple of guys and speeds to daylight — in a car. [Tony's Kansas City] • Ronaldinho selected world player of the year. There'll be dancing in the streets of Rio tonight! Um...
Barry Bonds' Blogroll
Sometimes we think we could play around on Barry Bonds' Web site all day. Unlike many athletes' who have their own sites, Bonds actually seems to put some time into his, mainly because it's the only way he can talk to his "fans" without the evil frothing media standing in the way. Well, digging a...
On The DL: That Drunk, Impregnating Farnsworth
It's time for installment No. 2 of our three-part series revealing the athletes behind some of On The DL's blind-items. Last week, we found out that the ladies say Cubs second baseman Todd Walker loves to flash his wedding ring at strip clubs. Today's blind item: I'm Ok, I sWaRe...:...
The Amazing, Vanishing Barry Bonds
You have to love Barry Bonds. How can you not? Barry is now officially the only athlete (or, for that matter, President) we believe when he says he "doesn't read the paper."...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while in the tub reenacting the battle of the Monitor and the Merrimack ... • MLB: Bonds hits 705th homer, is ordered to stitch actual asterisk to his uniform. • NFL: Brady's late-night carousing catches up to him in Patriots' loss to Panthers. • PGA: Some guy named Jason Gore wins s...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Michael Moore sneaks in the back door and raids your fridge ... • MLB: A's at Red Sox. If you notice the Yankees getting larger, that's because they're only 1 1/2 games back. [ESPN] • When golf and women collide: LPGA John Q Hammons Hotel Classic. [The Golf Channel] • Contributing t...
The Return Of Little Mac
Mad propers to The Mighty MJD, who came across a short film we'll be watching all day: "The Return Of Little Mac, a dramatic rendition of what the "Mike Tyson's Punch Out" hero might be up to these days. Tortured by visions of Bald Bull, haunted by his lone victory over Mike Tyson, sitting in a ba...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while prying Tom Brady's clammy mitts off of your girlfriend ... • Small Ball: Aaron Small goes to 8-0 as Yankees creep to with 1 1/2 of Red Sox. • Going Frog Wild: TCU snaps Utah's 18-game football win streak. • Cardinals clinch playoffs, prepare to sit at top of dugout railing and ...
Jon Bon Jovi And Bud Selig Bring The Rock
Now, we know Bon Jovi hasn't exactly ever been, oh, underground, we guess, but on the list of Things We Imagine Rock Stars Doing That Are Debaucherous, Involve Leather Pants And Mostly Out Of Our Frame Of Reference, pre-releasing your album on MLB.com with an extra track for MLB.com customers wou...
The 15-Minute Home Run Trot
Craziest play in the Red Sox-Blue Jays game last night. Red Sox outfielder Gabe Kapler — beloved by gays and Jews alike! — tore his Achilles rounding second base on Tony Graffanino's home run, and he couldn't move. Graffanino stopped behind Kapler and waited, and, surprisingly (to us), the umpires...
About Last Night ...
You awake in a large metal container, wearing a bear costume, with a tranquilizer dart stuck in your ass ... • MLB: Andruw Jones belts 50th homer, but you guessed it, Braves still lose. • WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs win Game 1 of ... oh forget it, you're not even reading this. • MLB: That big f...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line to watch a movie about penguins waiting in line ... • MLB: Bonds singles, walks twice as Giants come within five of Padres, so naturally he takes today off. • MLB: Yankees foolishly use up the rest of their September offense in 20-hit, 17-3 splurge. • Champions ...
Kordell Stewart Is Back, And, So You Know, Still Not Gay
Today is a beautiful day, and not just because Jay Bilas is in Kuwait. No, today the news came across: Kordell Stewart could be returning to the NFL, likely with the Ravens again to help with the injury to Kyle Boller. This is fantastic news, because, as the old maxim goes, Nobody Denies They're G...
Barry Returns, Giants Fans Remember What Life's Like
Well, our boy Barry Bonds returned to the Giants last night, and other than the blantantly terrible spelling on the front of his jersey (come on, people; G-I-A-N-T-S, it ain't that hard!), it was an smashing success all around. Bonds almost homered, the crowd showered him with nothing but Californ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while conjuring that elaborate voodoo curse on the Saints' next opponent ... • NFL: Falcons' Vick, Eagles' Owens combine to inspire all kinds of feather-related headlines in Falcons' 14-10 win. • MLB: Bonds returns to take Giants' minds off of missing the playoffs. • MLB: Willis wins...
Welcome Back, Barry and T.O! It's Like You Were Never Here
Well, the night you've all been waiting for is here. The return of two of our very favorite subjects is tonight: Barry Bonds and Terrell Owens. Bonds is slated to bat fourth tonight against the Padres, and people are wondering whether or not they're gonna start walking him again. Meanwhile, T.O. i...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your hairline recedes considerably faster than the New Orleans floodwater ... • MLB: Padres at Giants. Barry throws down his crutches, returns to lineup. • Pickup basketball: NBA players' Hurricane Relief Game. • MNF: Eagles at Falcons. That lovable Terrell Owens plucks at your hear...
Blogdome: Saluting Supposed "Bad Guy" Roger Federer
• You might have been sad that Andre Agassi lost at the U.S. Open, but that Roger Federer guy is pretty cool too. [Tennis-X] • Uh, anybody in San Diego noticed that the Padres are still in first place? Anybody care? [Gas Lamp Ball] • Anybody else concerned that the Miami Heat might not turn out so g...