boners Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kirk Cousins's Enormous Boner Wastes Scoring Opportunity
Kirk Cousins responded to a week of positive coverage, for once, by committing a huge blunder. His boner cost Washington a chance to get points; by inexplicably taking a knee with six seconds remaining, time ran out on the half—denying the Skins a shot at a quick touchdown and even the subsequent fi...
Goalkeeping Boner Gives Portland A Goal 27 Seconds Into MLS Cup
Steve Clark got way too casual with this backwards pass from Wil Trapp and gifted Diego Valeri and the Portland Timbers a goal to start MLS Cup. At 27 seconds, this is easily the fastest goal in MLS Cup history....
Rutgers Loses Mind, Spikes Ball On Fourth Down
Hapless Rutgers somehow found themselves with a shot to tie up fourth-ranked Michigan State and force overtime in New Jersey. But that shot was wasted when confusion reigned and quarterback Chris Laviano spiked the ball instead of organizing a hail mary attempt. It’s as if for 59 minutes and 50 seco...
And Now, The Rare Sacrifice Fly Scored By A Man From Second Base
Tigers center fielder Anthony Gose caught a long fly from Josh Donaldson during fourth inning action in Toronto today and casually started jogging back to the dugout. That’d be fine, except it wasn’t the third out of the inning—and the Blue Jays had Ryan Goins on second base....
Referee Botches End Of Title Bout; Timothy Bradley Takes WBO Belt
Referee Pat Russell stopped tonight’s Timothy Bradley-Jessie Vargas title fight before the final bell, believing the bout to be over and stripping Vargas of his chance to knock out a clearly dazed Bradley in the last seconds....
Ben Bishop Boner Gives Blackhawks 1-0 Lead
That’s suboptimal goaltending....
Glory Boy Runner Celebrates Too Early, Loses Race
It’s running, man. Nobody was all that psyched to cheer for you anyway....
Boston U. Goalie Blows Late NCAA Title Game Lead With Huge Boner
A baffling mistake by Matt O’Connor allowed the puck into his own goal and blew Boston University’s 3-2 lead on Providence in the NCAA national championship game. Kyle McKenzie would eventually be credited with the goal, but O’Connor’s boner only grew bigger when minutes later he allowed the Friars...
Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....
Receiver's Blunder Turns 78 Yard TD Catch Into 100 Yard Fumble Return
Kaelin Clay should have had a 79-yard touchdown catch to put Utah up 14-0 on Oregon. Instead, the Ducks tied the game when Clay dropped the ball short of the goal line and Oregon's Joe Walker picked it up to go the entire length of the field in the opposite direction....
Let's All Listen To Lou Holtz Talk About "Hard Wood"
"That's what Holtz means... hard wood."...
Boner Dog Is Feeling Super Conflicted About His Giant Dog Boner
Sure, in one sense, this boner dog is from back in 2013. But, in another, larger, truer sense, this boner dog is a timeless boner dog. Look at those sad eyes. It's a heavy burden, this enormous dog boner. Who will help me bear this dog boner? Can't even get any work done in my office chair....
Mario Götze Less Excited Than Usual About Being On A Boat With His Lady
I guess it's true what they say. Success can really change a man....
Hey, Check Out Mario Götze's Boat Boner
Hey, casual soccer fan! You're likely going to remember Mario Götze as the guy who won the 2014 World Cup for Germany, but you should know that he was famous long before he scored last night's deciding goal. That's because he once got a big ol' boner while hanging out on a boat with a lady....
Goalkeeper Blows Game With Enormous Boner In Added Time
Poor Dimitrios Konstantopoulos. It's bad enough the Middlesbrough goalkeeper cost his team a point today against QPR by allowing a goal in the 94th minute, but it's how he did it—by completely whiffing on a clearance and allowing Bobby Zamora the chance to walk in a goal—that is utterly embarrassing...
Lance Briggs Warns Of Potential "Dangerous Boners" Epidemic In NFL
Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall said yesterday that some NFL players use Viagra to "get an edge" on the field. Sure. OK. Whatever....
Bill Simmons Said Something About "Biggest Boners" On <em>PTI</em> Today, So Here's Four Minutes Of Him Saying It
It's Friday, and we can't think of any better way to spark the weekend than pouring a stiff drink, relaxing into a thick, comfortable chair, and engorging your ears by playing this recording of Bill Simmons repeatedly saying the word "boners." It's the perfect way to relax after a long, hard week....
DadBoner Unmasked: Cracking The Internet's Biggest Mystery
Last week, we chronicled our efforts to find out the comic mastermind behind the great DadBoner twitter feed, an effort that was met with resistance by certain fans of the feed and by Karl Welzein himself, not to mention his fictional wife Ann Welzein. But that didn't stop tipsters from flooding us ...