boston Page 129 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Give Him Liberty, Or Give Him Beer: Rowdy Fan Says He Was 'Striking Back For Red Sox Nation'
When his colonial ancestors were being oppressed by a larger, more formidable power, they fought back the only way they knew how; with bold, guerrilla tactics. Could Red Sox fan Chris Sciesinski do any less? Trapped behind enemy lines at Tropicana Field, taunted and scorned beyond all reason by Tamp...
Could There Be A More Fitting Metaphor For The AL East Race?
Don't tase Boston's divisional title chances, bro! If this isn't a sign from the baseball gods that the race is over in the East, I don't know what is. This Red Sox fan tried to leap the dugout and run onto the field at the Trop on Wednesday, but was met with Epic Failure: security grabbed him, and ...
Big Papi's Bed Will End Homelessness, Achieve Peace In The Middle East
I have always dreamed of sleeping in Big Papi's bed, but until now I never thought that it could become a reality. Now it's here; the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own Big Papi's bed. I don't know for sure, but I imagine that sleeping there would be like nestling into a warm, comforting hug by t...
Mock The Mohawk At Your Own Peril
Silly? Yes; especially when you consider that manager Joe Maddon is wearing one. But the Rays' new mohawk look seems to have mystical powers; a force that the Boston Red Sox were not able to overcome on Tuesday. The Rays broke free from a virtual tie with Boston atop the standings with a 2-1 win at ...
Curt Schilling Puts the Moves on Cindy McCain?
Everyone knows that Curt Schilling loves John McCain. But can the Republican presidential nominee trust the Red Sox pitcher when it comes to something much more important than an election...his wife? At a recent charity event, Curt Schilling confused Cindy McCain with his wife and held hands with h...
Universe Rights Itself, Soon Should Be Completely Normal
Like in the Michael Douglas film Falling Down, Joe Maddon is wearing a short-sleeved dress shirt and demanding breakfast at McDonald's, even though its past 11:30. Sorry Joe. We're back where we were in July 24; the Red Sox and Rays, tied for first in the East. Only this time Boston clearly has mome...
The Papelbon Dirty Dancing Videos Are Here. Oh, Man
If the Red Sox fail to win the East this season — and let's face it, it's looking more and more doubtful — we can probably blame this. One is never really prepared for a video of Jonathan Papelbon at a high school talent show performing Dirty Dancing routines in drag; it's just a shock to the system...
Why Your Team Won't Make The Playoffs: American League
And down the stretch they come! A look ahead at the final few weeks of the regular season, and why your team is doomed, in capsule form. Today, the American League ... East • 1. Tampa Bay Rays. Record: 85-56. Magic number: 20. Big strength: Evan Longoria is back after a stint on disabled list with a...
Alex Rodriguez And The Art Of The Double Play
Let it be known that the Yankees officially succumbed in the AL East last night; time of death 10:27 p.m., EST. It was all Alex Rodriguez's fault, of course. The only question is, what shall we call him after his 0-for-5 performance in a 7-3 loss to the Red Sox? Boo-Rod? A-Flop? A-Rod And Out? A-Wad...
Get Ready To Panic, ESPN; Yankees And Red Sox May Both Miss Playoffs
The year was 1993. Bill Clinton ascends to the White House. The Bills lose their third consecutive Super Bowl. "Whoomp! (There It Is)" by Tag Team is America's No. 1 song. And in a strike-shortened season, both the Yankees and Red Sox fail to make the playoffs. That's the last time that's happened, ...
Mike Timlin Will Take Care Of Your Ballpark Rat Problem
As long as Red Sox pitcher Mike Timlin is alive, Heidi Watney will never go hungry. Hope you enjoy squirrel, Heidi. You mean to say that hawk was a lovable team mascot? Sorry, my bad. Now, watch me shoot an apple off of a teammate's head. Damn it, hold still Youkilis! From Timlin's bio: ...
Kelly Clarkson, Drunk At A Red Sox Game Once Again
Here's a backward-hatted Kelly Clarkson and friends doing what true Red Sox fans do best: consuming beer and singing Sweet Caroline at Fenway. (Should it concern us that she's off key?). Hey, just be glad it isn't Ben Affleck and Jimmy Fallon. Red Sox Monster, which seems to be a bit overly fasci...
Epic Squander: Red Sox, Rangers Entertain The Masses
I propose uninstalling this scoreboard now and preserving it in a museum. People of the future are going to want to study it, and it has to be the real thing; no one is going to believe the photos. Future kid: "Dad, how did this one team almost blow a 10-run, first inning lead?" Future Dad: "It's th...
Did The White Sox Just Win The Central?
So the White Sox lost Jose Contreras for the season on Saturday in a loss to Boston, falling out of first in the Central. That made Sunday's contest somewhat more than your run-of-the-mill game. And Chicago's 6-5, come-from-behind win over the Red Sox just may have put them back into first place for...
Contreras Injury a Blow To Chicago
It was the Sox Bowl Part II as the Red ones took on the White ones. And you know what happens when you put Red Sox in the mix with White Sox (besides all your shit turning pink). You get some pretty good baseball. Big Papi busted his slump with a three-rub double off the wall in Boston's 6-2 win ove...
New Battle Cry In The Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry: You Are Hereby Served
A feud that broke out at Yankee Stadium last year between a group of Yankees fans and a Red Sox fan is being resolved in old-school fashion; with the Red Sox fan taking the issue to court. Wait, what? You heard that right, you Bronx ruffians. Let that be a lesson to you. ...
Exit Manny, Strong Men Also Cry, And The Legend Of Jason Bay
Interwebs blowback from Wednesday's and Thursday's MLB trading deadline deals ... • Manny Memories: Can It Be That It Was All So Simple Then? OK Red Sox fans, you just broke up with the equivalent of a girlfriend who was really, really great at first, but turned out to be a little a lot looney in th...
Manny To Dodgers, Bay To Red Sox, Little People To Pirates ... Mass Hysteria
Only trade deadline day can make the Intertubes blow up at 4:30 p.m. in the afternoon. Well, unless Heath Ledger dies. Anyway, Jon Heyman's got it: Manny Ramirez has been traded to the Dodgers. His manager is Joe Torre. Muse on that....
Manny May Be A Marlin In A Matter Of Minutes
Will Manny Ramirez find the peace of mind he seeks in the land of Gators and hanging chads? It's true: Our protagonist is THIS close to being a Marlin; words that in just about any other time would be a dire threat, but this year sound kind of intriguing. At any rate, Florida home attendance should ...
Heidi Watney's Rear Under Close Security Surveillance At All Times
Never let it be said that Fenway Park security is not doing their job. Take this guy, for instance, who is keeping close watch on the backside of NESN-TV reporter Heidi Watney; in case, you know, terrorists try to move in. Or whatever. Actually, when you examine the people in the stands, he isn't th...