bro Page 343 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wide Receiver Drama Over: Braylon Edwards Traded, Michael Crabtree Signs
Adam Schefter woke up early today and jumped on two stories that will disappoint fans of ridiculous melodrama. Now that the Braylon Edwards saga is over in Cleveland and Michael Crabtree has ended his holdout, what will we talk about?...

Nicaragua's About To Get Some New Tigers Gear
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Braylon Edwards Accused Of Punching FOL (Friend Of LeBron) UPDATED
Well, the Browns' season just got a whole lot better. Their "star" wide receiver was accused of punching a man last night and the victim says it's all because Braylon Edwards isn't as popular as LeBron James....

Un-Rubbed Balls Create Sticky Situation For Cardinals
John Smoltz thinks the reason he got roughed up last night is because his balls were not properly rubbed down. Yet, opposing pitcher Bronson Arroyo threw just fine. Is it because he was rubbing something special on his own balls?...

A Very Special Chat Tomorrow...
Perk up, comment gremlins, for an amazing opportunity awaits you. On tomorrow's edition of "Book Excerpts That Don't Suck", we'll be joined by noted author and and pisser-of-shit, H.G. "Buzz" Bissinger who will talk about his book, "Shooting Stars"....

Brady Quinn's Wild Ride Comes To An End. For Now.
Yes, campers, Derek Anderson (née Horse Balls) has been summoned to save the struggling football team in Cleveland once again. [SI/WaitingForNextYear/ClevelandFrowns]...

Browns' No-Nonsense Rookie Apparently Not Familiar With Concept Of "Prank"
Rookie Coye Francies turned punchy yesterday after fellow teammates playfully dowsed him with a bucket of ice. Abram Elam deflected Francies' blows before Shaun Rogers managed to pull the rookie out of the locker room by his shirt.[ESPN]...

Looking Cool Will Get You Fined
The No Fun League slapped Sheldon Brown with a $10,000 fine for wearing this sweet Friday the 13th mask instead of a boring football helmet onto the field last Sunday. So much for individuality. [ShutdownCorner]...

Evil Russian Mastermind To Buy Nets In Crucial 'Phase 1' Of Operation
Mikhail Prokhorov (actual picture) is one of Russia's richest and most sinister men. Now he's extending his tentacles into America as the newest majority owner of the Nets. But what's he really up to?...

Russian Billionaires Are NBA's Last Hope
All New Jersey Nets owner Bruce Ratner wants to do is get the Nets out of New Jersey and plant them in the heart of Brooklyn, but he's missing one key ingredient. What's it called? Oh right...money. He has none....

Psycho T Found Your Dog!
Tyler Hansbrough—and a Andy Katz doppelganger—will find your lost puppy through the magic of social networking (and AT&T! What a great corporate partner!) It's a shame that this doesn't violate any NCAA rules. [Rush The Court]...

LeBron Conquers Hollywood, One Wacky Hijink At A Time
The geniuses behind "City Slickers 2" are penning "Fantasy Basketball Camp," starring LeBron James. You might have seen this story already today, but it gives me an excuse to run this photo. [Ain't It Cool News]...

It's Fight Night In The Bronx
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NFL Highlight Of The Week: Stokley's 'Miracle' Touchdown
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....

O.J. Simpson's Last Remaining Fan (And Other Tales Of Woe)
We got many weekend submissions for Morning Crap that weren't good enough to "wake up!" to (or earn their own post) but were too good not to share. So they morphed into this special Voltron-like gallery of awesomeness. Tremble, weaklings!...

Kyle Orton Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win more than others. Like Denver Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton, who won the weekend by not losing. (For Kyle Orton, that's quite an accomplishment.)...

Does Brooklyn Decker Really Need To Be A T&A Machine?
I am not much of a prude, and neither I guess is Andy Roddick, as he enjoys his wife exhibited to the max in glossy mags....

An All-Too-Brief Moment Of Steeler Schadenfreude
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Orlando Brown Allegedly Leaves His Ex-Wife Something To Remember Him By
Najeh "Deuce" Davenport was crowned the king of unlawful defecation after he took a dump in his girlfriend's laundry basket back in 2002. Now it appears the plunger has been passed to Orlando Brown, a man of even greater fiber....

Brady Quinn Will Guide Your Browns To Victory In 2009, New Media Says
The Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Eric Mangini has confirmed the report by Pro Football Talk via Terrell Owens' congratulatory Twitter message that Quinn will start this Sunday against the Vikings. Welcome to the new journalism. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...