bs Page 169 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Tall Pitcher and Short Stop." This Fall On NBC!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sharks GM Has Competitively Attractive Daughter
San Jose Sharks GM Doug Wilson's daughter, the absurdly named Lacey, competed in last night's Miss USA competition. So that's why the Sharks were so on edge during Game 1 and couldn't solve the Rubik's Cube that is Chicago goalie Antti Niemi....

Minor League Hockey Fight Provides Us With A Reason To Watch Minor League Hockey
Last night, during Game 5 of their ECHL playoff series, the Cincinnati Cyclones and Reading Royals engaged in one of the best hockey team fights ever. Enjoy the narration and the sight of grown men being thrown about like rag dolls....

Potato Chip Ad Manages To Titillate, Enrage Island Nation
Hunky Dory, an Irish potato chip syndicate, has come under fire for an ad series that claims they are "Proud Sponsors of Irish Rugby." That, and because the ads feature all the scantily-clad women's rugby action you could ask for....

The Tiger Woods Injury-Condition Flub You've Been Waiting For All Day
Tiger Woods' bulging disc has forced him to exit The Players Championship and occasioned a Freudian moment from one unfortunate Golf Channel reporter, who called the injury a "bulging dick." H/T Michael....

Hooters Sponsors Youth Aussie Rules Football Team, Outrage Is Palpable
A Melbourne, Australia Hooters has been criticized by various wet blankets for sponsoring an under-16 Australian Rules Football team, the Broadbeach Cats. As per usual, there are adults trying to ruin all the fun....

So, About That Cubs-Lighting-Their-Farts Story
By now you've probably heard the rumor that Chicago's Jeff Baker missed time because he burned his backside trying to light a fart in the clubhouse. We thought this was worth some investigation....

CBS Almost Paid ESPN To Take The NCAA Tourney Off Their Hands
It's the most important event in the country for three weekends every year. And yet, it's hemorrhaging money to the point where CBS considered paying a rival to broadcast it. Are there implications for the free March Madness On Demand?...

Real Deer Burst Into Wisconsin Bar During Bucks Game, Prove Unworthy Of Anyone's Fear
Shortly after the start of the Bucks' eventual Game 7 loss to the Atlanta Hawks, two genuine Wisconsin deer burst through the glass doors of the Stout Ale House restaurant in Menomonie, where patrons were watching the game. Video inside....

A Hockey Trucking To End All Hockey Truckings
In Game 3 of the OHL Championship Series last night, Barrie's Darren Archibald decided he didn't even want to play Game 4 and proceeded to check Windsor goalie Philipp Grubauer into the Northwest Territories. Naturally, a fight broke out. H/T Justin....

Mudwrestling At The Kentucky Derby
The infield scene at Churchill Downs may not be as decadent and depraved as at Pimlico these days, but the rainstorm brought a welcome twist to the action. Feisty fillies, indeed. [via Louisville.com]...

The Bitch Slap Heard 'Round The Bleachers
When they're not humping each other in bathrooms or throwing beer or being sorta racist, the denizens of Wrigley Field are apparently slapping each other in the face. Except they're being sorta racist then, too....

New USA Kit Looks Good On A Pretty Lady
Today, Nike unveiled the USA's World Cup home jersey. Solid, if unspectacular. To make it more palatable, here it is on a Playboy model. [Playboy] (Page is SFW, just don't click on anything.)...

Footage Of Maryland Student's Beating Goes Missing, Re-Appears Minus Some "Editing"
A disc of security camera video that might show police officers assaulting a Maryland student during the post-Duke game bliss mysteriously went missing, then re-appeared hours later....with a two-minute gap in the footage. Wait! That's not the shadiest part, yet!...

NCAA Tournament Adds Networks, Expands To "Only" 68 Teams
In a surprising move, the NCAA signed a new television deal that will add more networks to CBS's coverage of the men's basketball tournament, but will not expand the field to 96 teams. Wait, did they actually listen to us?...

Everyone Can Get Behind These Sedin Twins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

An American Player Lands A Haymaker, And Chinese Basketball Has Its Kermit Washington Moment
In Game 2 of the CBA finals Sunday night, Xinjiang Flying Tiger Charles Gaines, of Southern Mississippi decked Guangdong's Du Feng in apparent retaliation for a headbutt. The freakout has already begun, if Google translation is to be believed....

Here's Your Annual Wet USC Song Girls
An excellent palate-cleanser during the most jam-packed sports weekend in a while. The Song Girls hit the pool for a good cause (a charity, not your shameful urges). [BeatSC.com]...

Joslyn James Will Make Precisely As Many Tour Appearances As Tiger
James will follow Tiger to Charlotte, appearing at a local strip club while he plays Quail Hollow in two weeks. How long will she keep this up? Months? Years? Decades? Knowing strippers, I'll say decades. [Charlotte Observer]...

Security Guard Beats Up Fan At Dodgers Game
This video, shot on Opening Day at Dodger Stadium, has it all: some casual racism, a flying chest-kick, the security-guard-on-fan action that everyone loves, and the inevitable Greek chorus yelling, "It's going on YouTube!" [YouTube; earlier]...