bs Page 182 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams Ringing The NASDAQ Opening Bell Tomorrow
This is the most incongruous pairing of sports and the financial markets since Lenny Dykstra first emailed Jim Cramer. How did this happen? What in the world has the Wild Thing been up to since his baseball career ended? He started his own Wild Thing Southpaw Salsa. Well, of course he did. Mitch Wi...

Cubs Or White Sox? Obama Invites North Side Scorn
As you saw in our morning video pancake breakfast, ESPN's Stuart Scott figured that the best way to get to know Barack Obama was to play him in a game of one-on-one (hard foul, Obama takes an elbow to the head! Now they're brawling! ...). Scott then sat down with the Democratic Presidential nominee ...

College Football Previews: #4 Oklahoma
Today's preview of the #4 team in all the land is brought to us by Rohit Joshi, a senior majoring in business at OU. Yep, he's still in college, getting ready for the start of college football season while we're all cranking out billable hours on document review. Life is fair. He says job solicitat...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Dana Jacobson
On a certain level, you have to like anyone who can piss off Charlie Weis, you know? Everyone forgets now that the Dana Jacobson story was actually broken by an Atlantic City newspaper. And she pretty much assured that ESPN won't be hosting anymore "celebrity" roasts. The above picture didn't actua...

Daryle Ward Will Eat Your Children In Broad Daylight
The Chicago Cubs have just won their ninth straight game. In related news, Hell has frozen over, pigs are flying, gas is now 75 cents a gallon, and Andy Dick just had sex with a girl. This wild chain reaction began when Ward, in the midst of an 0-for-13 slump, hit a three-run homer in the ninth to p...

Let Leo Pitch! Cubs Tempt Fate By Dissing Their Oldest Fan
Leo Hildebrand wants to throw out the first pitch at a Chicago Cubs game. And since the 104-year-old is one of the few living things old enough to have actually seen the Cubs win a World Series (the bristlecone pine and certain species of desert tortoise are the others), one would think that the tea...

Jim Edmonds Jogs La Russa's Memory
Cubs outfielder Jim Edmonds has gotten past the drama of being traded from the Cardinals in the offseason. Or maybe not. After refusing to discuss his former manager, Tony La Russa, with the media, Edmonds proceeded to go two for four, both hits going yard in a 3-2 win over his ex-team. The game str...

Reporter Doused By Blue-Painted Cubs Fan Outside Wrigley Field
Molly Dapier was doing freelance reporting for mouthpiece sports outside Wrigley Field. She's a tall, attractive blond reporter who appears to be minding her own business. Unbeknownst to her, however, a Chicago Cubs fan covered entirely in blue paint decided that he needed to dump a cooler full of w...

Slip 'N Slide With The King
How can you have a giant, water-soaked tarp on the field during a rain delay at Wrigley and NOT expect a guy dressed as '70s Elvis to come running out to slide across it? It's just common sense. Have a good time filling out the paperwork on this one, security guy (video following the jump). Actually...

For the Cubbies, Mark Cuban Is Ready to Put a Billion Where His Mouth Is
Mark Cuban has never shied away from spending money. Take for instance, his recent arbitration case against former Dallas Mavs coach Don Nelson. Cubes lost out on $6.3 million but insisted that he was pleased with the outcome because the truth about Nelson apparently came out during the proceedings....

Gourmet Spud's Thursday Afternoon CFL D###-Joke Free Jambor-eh
Drew Magary is off this week on a well-deserved, court-ordered "vacation". Filling in for Deadspin's juggernaut featured columnist is Gourmet "Who?" Spud, one of Deadspin's new weekend swing editors, a frequent commentor, and 1/4 of the team over at Food Court Lunch. He also helped your grandmother...

The Cubs-White Sox Feud Comes To Sesame Street
So it's three more Cubs fans in the hoosegow, another White Sox fan in the hospital, and life goes on in this strange, strange land we call "Illinois." When will the senseless violence end? My deepest regret is that Ernie and Bert had to see this. From the Chicago Tribune: ...

Will Ohman Has A Little Will Ferrell In Him
Will Ohman has been a solid reliever for the Braves this year, but this is certainly the first time I've ever taken notice of the veteran. Any jackass can pull off a half-decent Christopher Walken, but getting in the head of Harry Caray is a truly noble pursuit. Thanks to the 700 Level for the vid...

Bo Knows This Won't End Well
Former Domer pitcher/receiver Jeff "The Shark" Samardzija made his Major League debut yesterday afternoon in a relief appearance for the Chicago Cubs. The 23 year-old rookie struck out a pair of Marlins in the two-inning outing, but he failed to pickup the hold after beginning the seventh inning wi...

Bartman Spurns $25k Autograph Offer
Putting a quick end to the will he or won't he autograph spectacle, Steve Bartman is not going to appear at the National Sports Collectors Convention in Rosemont, Illinois. Interestingly, Bartman issued the response through his friend Frank Murtha. Meaning that Bartman himself remains hidden away i...

Steve Bartman Offered $25k for a Single Autograph
Reclusive Cubs anti-christ Steve Bartman has incentive to come out into the light of day thanks to a $25k autograph offer from a sports collectors show. According to the Orlando Sentinel this would be the most ever paid to a living person for a single autograph. What exactly does Bartman need to do...

Sammy Sosa Dissed By All-Star Signage
I'm no Cubs fan, but I'm pretty sure that Aramis Ramirez does not in fact own the Cubs' franchise record for home runs with 38. I can think of about eight players off the top of my head who had more; and Big League Stew can come up with even more. But since this is on the scoreboard at the All-Star ...

Kornhesier Crabgate, The Next Day: Shocking New Details Emerge
Now it seems that key sources are backing off from their claims that ESPN chatterbox Tony Kornhesier had acted like a pompous ass at a Delaware seafood restaurant recently. Here's the original item from the Pulp Culture Blog in the Wilmington News Journal, which claims that Kornheiser threw a fit wh...

Tony Kornheiser Is Very Fussy About His Shellfish
In case you were wondering just what Tony Kornheiser is really like, apparently these days the needle on the douchemeter is pressed all the way to the right. I can't imagine going to a seafood restaurant and throwing a fit because my favorite variety of crab isn't on the menu, but then I don't work ...

These Are Clapping Dogs, Rhythmic Dogs, First-Pitching Dogs, House Dogs, Street Dogs
Uno, who I believe was named for the card game I never bothered to learn, continues to blaze trails for doggykind. Back in February, he became the first beagle ever to win the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (though Snoopy remains the first to be a World War I flying ace). Yesterday, he "threw" ou...