bs Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's The UK's Next Prime Minister Boris Johnson Doing Sports

Boris Johnson, a disheveled, dishonest, discombobulated clod, will be the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. He will do a bad job. He might be more capable as a sportsman, though that isn’t much consolation or compliment....

Award-Winning Lamb Under Investigation For PEDs

A grand champion lamb is currently under investigation after a veterinarian discovered a foreign substance in the animal’s system that might have given it an unfair advantage over its competitors. Tests from the Ohio Department of Agriculture reveal that the lamb was given a diuretic, which is banne...

"Mai Tai Guy" Has No Regrets Over Stealing Walk-Off Home Run Ball From Kids

The Cubs beat the Reds in dramatic, walk-off fashion on Tuesday night, as Kyle Schwarber hit a 10th-inning dinger to put an exclamation point on a Chicago day that had already seen the capture of notorious alligator Chance the Snapper. And as one minor local reptilian celebrity was consigned to a bu...

Let The Alligator Throw The First Pitch

Chance the Snapper—a Chicago alligator who gained fame last week when he was first noticed living in the Humboldt Park lagoon—was taken into custody Tuesday morning by reptile expert Frank Robb, who was hired specifically to grab the creature. Before he was apprehended, the 5-foot-3 Chance captured ...

Bob Gibson has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, according to a report in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. The Cardinals legend, nine-time All-Star, two-time NL Cy Young Award winner, two-time World Series champion and member of MLB’s All-Century Team has been in a hospital in Omaha for the past c...

Atlantic League Batter Steals First, Makes Baseball History

Around the time that robot umpires were brought in to help officiate the Atlantic League All-Star Game, Major League Baseball and the independent league’s front office decided to tack on a few more rules to experiment with for the second half of the season. Among them included an expansion on the cu...

Jacoby Brissett Asks A Cosmic-Brained Question About The Cosmos

The summer offseason is a time for NFL football players to get away from the game, rest, heal, and pursue various forms of personal fulfillment. For Colts backup quarterback Jacoby Brissett, this is a time for pondering the big questions of, literally, the universe. Like, for example, whether the Su...

Report: Cubs Co-Owner Todd Ricketts Has Been Getting Away With Not Paying His Full Property Taxes

Thanks to an open records request filed by the Chicago Tribune, we now know that Todd Ricketts, finance chairman of the Republican National Committee and co-owner of the Chicago Cubs, has been getting a substantial tax break that he doesn’t deserve thanks to false documents filed by his attorney....

Today's NFL Would Have Been Perfect For Doug Flutie

It’s been 14 years since he last played professional football, but Doug Flutie is suddenly relevant again. In the run-up to the draft, there was a big feature in the Washington Post, along with a 15-minute chat on The Rich Eisen Show. When I first reached out to ask about an interview, Flutie’s agen...

Absolutely No One Could Stop These Enraged Cubs Fans From Fighting

Every good fan fight has a defining quality, and this one is no different. What we have here is not an alarming display of savagery, or swift and frightening violence, or even anything that rises to slapstick humor. What we have here is simply two women with an indefatigable commitment to causing ru...

Angry, Pinwheeling Joe Maddon Gets Tossed From Cubs-Pirates Game

A steady stream of high and inside pitches from Pirates starter Jordan Lyles set off Cubs manager Joe Maddon yesterday, causing him to hop out of his dugout, to angrily shout at the Pirates’ dugout, and to even uncork a nifty little spin move in his efforts to break free of the umpire’s grip. Maddon...

The Warriors Will Retire The Jersey Of A Guy Who Dumped Them For Kyrie Irving

Having lost Kevin Durant in free agency to Kyrie Irving and the Brooklyn Nets, the Golden State Warriors announced Monday that Durant’s number-35 jersey will be effectively retired, for as long as Joe Lacob is in control of the team:...

Cubs' Pedro Strop On Yasiel Puig: "It's Not A Secret He's Stupid. He's Stupid As Fuck."

In the bottom of eighth with a 3-0 count against Yasiel Puig, Cubs pitcher Pedro Strop plunked the Reds outfielder with a 94 mph pitch. Puig was none too happy about the HBP, and began to slowly make his way towards the pitcher, which led to both benches clearing before any real punches were thrown....

Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Game Postponed, Which Means The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Will Play A Double-Header Today

The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs, a minor-league baseball team associated with the Colorado Rockies, had their game against the Ogden Raptors canceled last night due to an “outfield surface issue.” This was bad news for local Chubs fans who had purchased tickets to the game. Not only were they deni...

The Cubs Fell Ass Backwards Into A Very Dumb Double Play

I don’t know why Javy Baez (or whoever’s giving him signals) would have so much faith that a pitcher making only his third plate appearance in the major leagues would be able to hold up his end of the suicide squeeze, but the overconfidence of Baez and the pure stupidity of Willson Contreras over on...

Javy Baez Settles Dumb, Escalating Plunk-Off By Socking A Mighty Four-Bagger

The Colorado Rockies and Chicago Cubs wrapped up their season series Wednesday with a good old-fashioned plunk-fest. The Cubs paid back a day-old plunking imbalance by targeting Colorado’s best hitter, and the Rockies buzzed and/or plunked three different Cubs. The good news is, just as it was getti...

Rob Stone Suggests The USWNT Should've Eased Up, Gets Soundly Rejected

The USWNT had just put the finishing touches on the most lopsided beatdown in the history of the World Cup when Fox Sports analyst Rob Stone put his foot into his mouth in the name of sportsmanship....

Craig Kimbrel Finally Lands A Job, Joins Cubs

It took all the way until June 5, but finally, finally, one of the handful of best closers in baseball has landed a job. Per Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic, Craig Kimbrel has reached an agreement to join the NL Central-leading Chicago Cubs on a multiyear deal:...

Drake Tries Very Hard To Pretend He Doesn't Have Steph Curry And Kevin Durant's Jersey Numbers Tattooed On His Body

The world was very nearly spared a couple week’s worth of energetic Drake sightings Thursday night, when Andre Iguodala of the Golden State Warriors went careening into the sidelines late in the first half of Game 1 of the NBA Finals. Iguodala missed hurling the bulk of his giant NBA frame into the ...

Foul Ball Appears To Injure Young Child At Cubs-Astros Game [Update]

During the fourth inning of tonight’s Cubs-Astros game, Chicago outfielder Albert Almora Jr. hit a foul ball into the seats on the third base side of the Houston ballpark. According to those present at the game, that ball hit a small child, who was quickly brought up the stairs by an adult....