bs Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Undertaker's Demonic, Pyromaniacal Brother Elected Mayor Of Tennessee County
Republican Glenn Jacobs, also known as WWE’s Kane, was elected mayor of Knox County, Tennessee, Thursday. Kane won the Republican primary back in May by just 17 votes, and immediately became the overwhelming favorite for the gig in the solidly conservative area....
Lights Go Out On Diamondbacks Game, Pedro Gomez Briefly Blames Rampaging Baboon
Top of the sixth, tie game, men on second and third, and the lights went out in Phoenix:...
Cubs Acquire Cole Hamels, Continue To Be Lucky Sons Of Bitches
The Cubs notched their 33rd come-from-behind victory of the season on Thursday, the most in the Majors, with a three-run ninth inning to beat the Diamondbacks, 7-6....
Ignore The Haters, Wearing A Bucket On Your Head At A Baseball Game Can Save Your Life
Picture yourself at a mid-summer baseball game. You’ve had a few cold ones. You’ve polished off the bucket of 24 slimy buffalo wings that you spent $84 on. You’re honestly starting to get a little bored. I’m gonna put this damn bucket on my head, you think. That will spice things up....
Sounds Like Everyone Should Lay Off That Cubs Fan Who "Stole" A Baseball From A Kid
Sunday outrage gives way to Monday fact-checking. If you were one of the people who (reasonably) got very angry at a short video clip appearing to show an adult Cubs fan intercepting a ball meant for a child, you can stand down. The man, it now appears, is a good guy who does not deserve this at all...
Joe Maddon Shamelessly Reams Out Umpire Without Getting Tossed
There’s no lip reading required to figure out why Cubs manager Joe Maddon was pissed off in Sunday’s 7-4 win over the Padres. Home plate umpire Ryan Blakney’s strike zone was indecipherable all day—both teams complained about it—so in the eighth inning, Maddon had had enough....
Everton Really Fucked Up This Fifth-Division Team, 22-0
Everton decided to take on a fifth-division Austrian team, ATV Irdning, ostensibly because they were the closest 11 sentient beings in the area. The offseason friendly took place in Austria, where Everton have a training ground in picturesque Bad Mitterndorf, a few miles up the road from the home...
Javy Baez Finally Did Something Imperfectly
Cubs infielder Javy Baez is so appealing as a baseball player because he always seems to know exactly how to change the game in the most creative, unexpected ways. But in tonight’s game against the Giants, Baez’s seemingly unlimited supply of wits and skill failed him, and he shockingly allowed an o...
Javy Baez Stole Home With Another Dope Slide
Nobody makes the little things in baseball more exciting than Cubs infielder Javy Baez, and he did it again today against the Tigers. A steal of home is, of course, alright pretty thrilling. But watch the subtle yet significant way Baez contorts his body for the swim-move slide to avoid a seemingly ...
Kane Is Back In The Mix In WWE...While Running For Mayor At Home
Tuesday’s edition of WWE SmackDown Live ended with something of a surprise. Daniel Bryan was being beaten down by The Bludgeon Brothers when Kane, his former tag team partner, returned to help him out. The day was saved, fans celebrated, and it all felt so familiar that it was easy to miss how weird...
Home Run Ball Of Pure Evil Comes Back To Ambush Albert Almora's Skull
Some hard-hit baseballs aren’t content just to do their damage on the scoreboard. Some, like Max Muncy’s home run ball from Wednesday’s Cubs-Dodgers game, seem to get their kicks from inflicting as much humiliation on fielders as possible. These sociopathic balls are on a path of destruction, and no...
Javy Baez Deployed His Bionic Arm For This Double Play<em></em>
It might seem like the marketplace is saturated with Javy Baez highlights, and adding another to your memory might seem exhausting. But I urge you to take the time to appreciate the Cubs’ infield stud’s speed, alertness, and arm strength on this double play, which comes with a rare added wrinkle of ...
Only Javy Báez Could Have Made This Wild Solo Double Play
Cubs second baseman and shortstop Javier Báez is a known defensive wizard who makes all sorts of cool-looking plays all the dang time, but he really showed off his skills this afternoon against the Dodgers. Kikè Hernández smacked a double to lead off the eighth inning, but got just far enough out of...
Cubs Reliever Brandon Morrow Says He Hurt Himself While Taking Off His Pants
The Cubs didn’t use closer Brandon Morrow in either of their games Tuesday against the Dodgers, instead relying on a bevy of other relievers. He would’ve been really helpful in the first game, which the Cubs lost 4-3 after Justin Wilson blew a 3-2 lead in the ninth. According to the team, the reason...
Beer For Herbs Calls Itself "Lebron Tears"
An undeniable spoil of victory is the unassailable right to talk mad shit about your vanquished foes, forever, no matter their prominence nor how splendidly they performed. The Warriors are very good at this, as in the case of Draymond Green using t-shirts to mock LeBron James after each of the last...
The Hater's Guide To The 2018 World Cup
The World Cup: truly a tradition unlike any other, except I guess for the Olympics which it is kind of like in the sense that a bunch of people who only care about a thing every four years suddenly care about it so much. Most of the world, of course, cares about soccer a great deal all the time, but...
Lorenzo Cain Saves His Teammate, Breaks The Cubs' Rundown
Early on in the Brewers’ 4-0 win over the Cubs Tuesday, Christian Yelich was on second base and Lorenzo Cain hit a sharp grounder up the middle. Javier Baez was there for a nice backhand play, but Yelich had already taken off for third, maybe figuring the ball was getting through. That required a ru...
Jason Heyward, Of All People, Finally Got To Josh Hader
Listen, it is illegal to exhibit any sort of excitement about a potential bounce-back from Jason Heyward until he actually finishes a full season with an OPS over .800. I’m sorry, but that’s just the law, and it has been the law ever since he convinced everyone that 2017 was going to be his big come...
The Phillies And Their Dumb Shift Just Handed Third Base To Kris Bryant
The Cubs beat the Phillies 7-5 in a thriller on Wednesday night that culminated in a walk-off grand slam dinger from Jason Heyward. This came right after the Phillies had taken a 5-3 lead in the top half of that inning on a two-run smash from Dylan Cozens. The win-probability graph alone is exciting...
Javy Baez Ruins Sweatshirt, Also Gets An Out
In the ninth inning of an otherwise pretty blah Cubs loss, Chicago shortstop Javier Baez made a daredevil catch along the Steve Bartman wall at Wrigley Field. The out came at the cost of a Cubs fan’s beer and his previously clean sweatshirt, but it was a worthy sacrifice for an acrobatic play....