bs Page 98 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Javy Baez Only Makes Spectacular Plays

The Giants finally remembered how to play offense and hit the baseball tonight, but Cubs second baseman Javy Baez is doing everything he can to shut them down. Baez only plays baseball at one million miles per hour, and he attacks approaching grounders like Jim Harbaugh attacks glasses of milk. ...

Joe Panik Walkoff Double Keeps The Giants Alive

Joe Panik’s 13th-inning double to drive in Brandon Crawford gave the Giants a 6-5 win over the Cubs on Monday, keeping San Francisco’s season alive. The even-year cockroaches now have won 10 straight games while facing elimination....

Hitters Still Can't Touch Madison Bumgarner But A Pitcher Just Knocked One Of His Balls To Fiji

If failure is success in Silicon Valley, then Madison Bumgarner is a champion tonight. The Giants ace, last seen choking the life out of the Mets, is laying an egg in an must-win against the Cubs. He came into the game with a streak of 23 straight scoreless innings in elimination games, but managed ...

Pedro Martinez Recognizes Columbus Day By Stereotyping Native Americans [Update]

 Pedro Martinez tried to recognize the Indians’ sweep of his former employer the Boston Red Sox tonight during the TBS postgame show; instead, he got real racist....

Johnny Cueto Was Brilliant, And It Didn't Matter

In a week that’s offered plenty in the way of high-quality postseason pitching—Corey Kluber’s virtuoso performance yesterday afternoon, Noah Syndergaard and Madison Bumgarner’s wild card duel—Johnny Cueto put up perhaps the best line of them all last night....

Root For The Cubs In The Playoffs

The Chicago Cubs had the best record—103 wins, 58 losses—in major league baseball this season. They won the NL Central by a ridiculous 17.5 games over the butt St. Louis Cardinals. They outscored their opponents by a whopping 252 runs. And I never watched them even once! Here’s why you should root f...

Donald Trump's Jobs Plan: Folks, Is It Hot In Here, Or What?

Donald Trump, presidential candidate of the moon, has a plan to put Americans back to work. A simple plan. He explained it all very simply yesterday....

Still Unclear About Whether My Eyes Are Deceiving Me Or Not

TBS broadcasts MLB’s postseason each year, despite only carrying a few baseball broadcasts during the regular season. The network’s inability to do anything right produces embarrassing errors each season, and the one above is just one of at least four they’ve aired just tonight....

Trump Supporters Spent The Debate Tweeting At Jon Lester Because They Thought He Was Moderator Lester Holt

Jon Lester is expected to be the Cubs’ Game 1 starter when the NLDS kicks off at Wrigley on Friday against either the Mets or Giants. That’s Jon Lester. Not NBC anchor Lester Holt, who is old and who scouts say has 55 command at best, barely fourth-starter potential. Just so we’re clear....

MLB Game Ends In A Tie For The First Time Since 2005

Tonight, officials called the Pirates-Cubs game in the sixth inning with the score tied 1-1. Heavy rain in Pittsburgh forced the game to stop for over an hour, and it was eventually called. The two teams are not scheduled to play again this year, and the outcome won’t affect playoff positioning, so ...

#Fraud. #Pathetic.

CBS Airs Jags Fan's Halftime Adjustments

The music bed is what makes this, really....

Tennessee Finally Beat Florida

After 11 straight years of losing—including, most recently, back-to-back fourth quarter blown leads—Tennessee finally defeated Florida, this time inviting the Gators to blow a lead of their own. ...

Rutgers Student Tailgate Shut Down After AD Chugs A Beer On Stage

That man you see above you there is Rutgers Athletic Director Pat Hobbs, indulging in a cold one at the official Rutgers student tailgate before the school’s game against New Mexico on Saturday. Rutgers opened up a student tailgate zone this season to try and boost attendance, but after two games, t...

How To Skewer And Cook A Meat Dick

Listen. We are going to form and skewer and grill and eat meat dicks. There’s just no way of obscuring this, so let’s deal with it right here and now....

Poorly Disguised Theo Epstein Takes In Cubs Game From The Bleachers

The Chicago Cubs are currently playing the Milwaukee Brewers at Wrigley Field, and some fans noticed that they happened to be sitting in the same section as a guy who looks a lot like Cubs GM Theo Epstein....

Don't Update Your Fucking iPhone!

Yesterday, Apple released its latest major software update with iOS 10. As far as I can tell, the iteration exists only to cut my battery life in half, make my Messages app unusable, and trick me into downloading hundreds of cartoon Biebers and one George R. R. Martin. Reader, don’t be like me. Don’...

Steve Jobs Loved The Headphone Jack

At approximately 1:00 p.m. today, in the year of our Lord 2016, Tim Cook defiled the memory of the late Steven “Steve” Paul Jobs with an abomination built of space-gray hubris. Today, Tim Cook discarded the iPhone headphone jack. And with that headphone jack, the soul of its creator went, too. ...

Tennessee Survives After Dobbs Fumble Recovered In OT

A putrid night of football in Knoxville turned out the Volunteers’ way when Josh Dobbs’s fumble at the goal line in overtime was gathered in by teammate Jalen Hurd, setting up a 20-13 win after the Tennessee defense stopped Appalachian State’s OT series....

Mike Carey Is Gone And CBS Says It's All Your Fault

Football fans won’t have Mike Carey to kick around this season. The former referee who served as CBS’ in-game officiating expert for the past two seasons was dropped by the network a few months ago, and CBS would like to remind everyone that it was all those big meanies on their couches that cost Ca...